Vin Diesel is in my pants

That is how I knew the new farrier was going to work out for me.

We were collecting horses for our fancy triage system of catching up on trimming, when my phone (which was in my pocket) started making a peculiar racket. I could not identify it right away, but by the time I got it out of my pocket, it was obvious that it was Vin Diesel was talking to me--I do not know how or why, but it felt dirty so I shut it off super fast. That means I never did figure out why Vin Diesel was on my phone--maybe it was a movie trailer, but why? I have never been able to get videos to play on it.

In any event, the new farrier Matt says to me "Vin Diesel is in your pants."

Yeah, I wish dude. You have no idea.

I took this as a good sign though, that new dude was going to fit in just fine around here.

By the time we got done trimming fifteen horses---FIFTEEN horses in four hours- I learned a lot more about the new dude. One of the more interesting things I learned is that he is truly scared of Leprechauns and midgets of all nature, as long as they are human. He cannot even eat Lucky Charms because of the leprechaun on the box--he has to buy generic ones. He says if they really do have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, then the bastards can just keep it. I almost peed on myself. At least I am scared of legitimate things like ladders and eels.

But Matt has a big idea about having an all midget rodeo. Miniature horses or just little ponies, Zebu cattle and midget competitors. He has something there, I hate to admit it, but I think this is a brilliant idea. The rodeo could be the novelty entertainment at things like Road to the Horse, or Congress, or things like that--that was my idea. How he is going to run a midget rodeo when he is scared of midgets I do not know--I suspect counting his money might make it easier. Now to figure out a way to make it not the most offensive obnoxious idea I have heard in a while, because it really is funny.

Interesting, he is not scared of miniature horses. He has some minis just to look at, and was content to trim Fonzie and willingly admitted that midget horses are fine by him. This might be a good niche for Snap's babies--they barely hit 14 hands ever, so might make good mounts for the midget rodeo and then I could pretend I meant that to happen.

I warned him that continued involvement with me would likely lead to public embarrassment on the internet. He is not concerned about this because once he agreed to make a sales video for a training client and they made him wear purple breeches in the video. He thinks I cannot top that level of humiliation.

He so does not know me.

The trimming process

Here is a trim in progress--this is Sly's hind right leg. It is up on the stand, and the farrier is first picking out the gunk--dirt, etc--with a hoof pick.


The next order of business is to dig out the sides of the frog. The frog is the part that stretches from the heel to the middle of the sole, that comes to a V in the middle. It always looks to me like it is made of resin when it is scaled out like that.

After that part, the nippers come out and nip off the extra length of hoof wall. The hoof wall is the outside of the hoof, which mostly supports the horse. Notice how it is also fresh and clean and white underneath there. After that is done, the farrier makes sure that the hoof is balanced and rasps down the parts that need to be in order to balance it properly. And unbalanced hoof is a bad deal and can do damage to ligaments and tendons, etc, and do it in a hurry.

This is Sly looking skinny because it is the end of the breeding season. He is also looking filthy.
Here he looks embarrassed as his toe is rasped. He is probably embarrassed because his mane looks absurd, the dirt is ground in to his skin, and he needs to eat.


I just like this pic as it is his trademark--curly ears!

Big night in the barn, etc

Since I felt like I have done nothing this week, last nite shaped up to be pretty big--of course it did, I wanted to watch TV!

Marvin was here to do more feet--he trimmed Diablo, Hotrod, Squeak, Cash, Melody, Square Baby and Sly, and worked on Nita's feet. She now has thrush to go along with her abcess, which I kind of suspected, but had not seen in so long, I needed another pair of eyes to confirm it for me. That I knew where the thrush medicine was (unopened as I have never ever needed it), is a miracle in itself. That healing is now underway, thank goodness for that.

We also weaned CC and Squiggy. They do not care. Diablo and Fuzzy got their PKI shots and moved to the back pasture, as did everyone but Rock, and Square Baby who is going to stay up here try to eat herself into a growth spurt like everyone else is doing. I am planning the moving around of horses to different pastures--this sounds easy but is not so much. The first priority is having horses on the same feed program pastured together---so those on the regular 3 pounds of Strategy a day go in one pasture. Weanlings and yearlings are on much more feed than that so they need their own field. I have never pastured babies with yearlings before, so that will be interesting. Ideally they would go in the middle pasture, since it is bigger than the front one, but I do not want them on a fence line with their mothers---just in case. That forces there to be a lot of kids in the front pasture together which is not very big--but then again, neither are they. I might put Foxy with them, as she is getting bossy to Gramps and Lucky and taking their senior feed. No that wont work, as Vixen is in there. Crap. Surely by the time the weather changes, I can swap again and put them in the middle pasture with way more space.

I also have the few older mares that need some feed to consider--I think I will put them with the twos and other 3-pound eaters, and hope they do not get too bossy.

Meanwhile, easy keepers and fatties are in the back pasture on the miracle hay not eating Strategy at all right now. They just do not need it. After last nite, there are more of them back there than there ever have been this year, so that hay will go faster than the others, but we can work that pretty easily.

The goal this weekend is to confirm the perimeter of the hay field, and put really hard keepers out there---I am going to try Gramps, and Lucky--maybe Foxy can go there as well. Playmate too. It is probably 12-14 acres but I have to be very careful not to overgraze since it is the hayfield...so they will only stay a couple of weeks and be back to their regular places

This is a lot of thinking!

It is funny to see Marvin work with Mel and Square Baby--he says they are kind of dumb, which is good in that he can convince them of anything way more quickly than he can the others, who are too smart to take his word for anything right off the bat. Diablo got a much needed come to Jesus--she acted like such a cow. It is probably uncomfortable to hold her legs up with that huge belly, but that is no excuse to misbehave. She needs an exercise program. I measured her last nite and she is 14 hands and 1081 pounds! Can you imagine? That is one hefty sister! I left my camera hanging in the barn last nite so I wont have pics of all that until tonight.

The only one that weighs more than her is Hotrod at 1097...and she has probably three inches on her. I did not measure her height. I do love my measuring stick, but I see Barry rolling his eyes everytime he sees it coming. We measured Fuzzy too and she is right at 14 hands as well, and 860, I think. That seems kind of light and she does not look light at all, so I dont know if that is accurate.

I think we did Mel too but I dont remember that one. She looks so much like her grandsire Freckles Playboy it is creepy---she stands just like I remember his ads looking. Maybe she looks so much like him as her dam was by Freckles Hustler as well, so there is a lot of similar genetic material in there.

The BIL Jeff is probably coming down for the weekend. We are going to go tailgating at SIU in the morning for my 10 year law school reunion. I cannot believe that it has been so long.

The other BIL Edward has his birthday this week. Then he and Mandy got a big blow about the adoption of Gabi---they hit a speed bump and were sent back to the starting line again. It is appalling what that system does to people trying to do a good thing.

I just ordered two more semis of hay to be delivered next week. Surely I am close to having all we need. I screwed around and got beat out of the cutting I wanted, but this stuff tests out real close to that---lets cross our fingers it does. The girls look as good as they EVER have on this hay right now, and I get a little giggly every time I look at them. I feel really good about it.

I had lunch today with the State's Attorney who is retiring and his number one man who is running for the position. Also with them was Bob, who is a story unto himself. Suffice it to say we laughed until we hurt with some funny stories, and I learned that no one has any idea what the hell went on at Madison's house with the arson. Great.

Have I rambled enough about absolutely nothing?

How I held up my end of the schedule last nite

Surprisingly pretty well!

We got nine horses trimmed. Marvin and Luke arrived around 5 and I had the first three ready to roll. I got them started, then ran home to get the mail ( I am looking for something), check on the dogs and Boce and flip the laundry. Upon my arrival at home, I thought things looked wierd--

I have part of a new driveway! We have had constant troubles since we moved here with the tiling under our driveway---there is a small creek that runs (ha-runs is a funny way to put it since we are in a drought) from the neighbors property, across ours to the next neighbor. It washes out all the time no matter how many tons of rock we put in, which just washes away and makes everything worse. There were huge holes in the drive and you had to come to a complete stop to avoid smacking your bumper on the way out of it- that is how bad it was.

We have been asking the township to hook us up for a year and a half and BAM- yesterday it happened! I sure did not expect the asphalt that we got, but I am all over it. We have a new culvert under it and maybe 40-50 feet of asphalt. I do not want to see that bill, but I am so grateful they worked us in.

Anyway, I swear I was only home twenty minutes (long enough to check my email again, and call Barry about the drive), and when I got back, Marvin was on number two and Luke was detailing a third. This is particulary noteworthy, since they were 2 yearlings (Voodoo and Ding) that can be unpredictable about trims like all babies can, and one two year old who has never been fond of having his feet done. Target and Ding were angels--who would have predicted that, while Voodoo gave Luke some grief---completely opposite of any behavior he has ever shown. I REALLY like that colt, despite his rambunctiousness last nite.

I could see this was going to be quicker than anticipated, so I got them all vaccinated, dewormed, and groomed and turned out as quickly as possible, while getting the next few horses lined up and ready to roll. I had every stall full in the front barn, and horses tied and lined up on every other avilable surface. Snap came in to have hers done real quick, and so did Rock. Meanwhile, Fuzzy escaped and Madison had to chase her down to put her up--it was not her day for a trim, but I guess she wanted one. Playmate got in the lineup and Madison played beauty shop on her (made her look like a streetwalker truth be told, but Mad had fun) while she waited her turn for her trim. They all got dewormed as well, and vaccinated according to their needs (which reminds me, I need to order more modified live rhino shots).

Meanwhile, the donkeys tore down two boards to the bull shed area, so I replaced those, and once again thought of beating Barry to death for not using screws instead of nails on this stupid fence.

Mojo came in for his trim, he has always been a good boy. This was NOT his night. I made the mistake of mentioning that Marvin had a 15 minute average going on and BAM- it all came to a standstill. Mojo acted like he had never had his feet done in his life, and took a solid hour to simmer down for Marvin. That was IN the stall by the way. This demonstrates why I love Marvin so much, he does what needs to be done, takes no shortcuts and gets the job done. He kept asking me if I was SURE Mojo had been done before. Of course he has bucko, by you, since he was 6 months old! He just had a brain fart I guess. By the time an hour was up, Mojo stood quietly with the lead over his withers, his foot in the air, practically asleep--the Marvin touch is still in effect.

To add complications to the Mojo Hour, a ruckus ensued behind his stall. They way our barn is configured is sort of confusing if you have not seen it, but there are six stalls in the front barn. We were using the three that face outside for the trims. Directly behind them, with hay feeders for a divider, are three more huge foaling stalls that are made out of solid oak. The boards go up and down and the walls are probably 10 feet tall on the sides, with half walls on the front, with v-mesh instead of stall grills. Because the oak was so hard when we built the walls, we pre-drilled the holes we would then nail into. We must have gotten carried away, as sometimes, the nails will work loose (with a little help from the occupants, mind you) and a board will come loose. I fight this one board constantly between stall one and two. I re-do it, they take it down, and we go round and ronud like that constantly.

These silly fillies had managed to work loose another board and were passing back and forth through the wall, like it was a tunnel! They had to duck under the middle brace that goes horizontally across the length of the wall, but they did it. Evidently being a bohemoth like Riot hurts her ingress and egress chances, so she took down a few more boards. I just keep hauling them out for Barry to fix when he gets home, and today I am picking up plywood or OSB to reinforce the walls so they cannot push on the back side of the boards and knock them out. I will fix their wagons yet! I refuse to be outwitted by varmints under the age of six months.

All in all, we got nine trims done--all the yearlings, Boogie and Target, Rock, Playmate, Snap, and Foxy. Several others got their shots and dewormed, I cleaned one stall (could not bring myself to gut the two that needed it, they are beyond my help!), threw away a bunch of crap that was just laying around, and fed. We are taking next week off and will resume (and perhaps finish a full round?) in two weeks. That is crazy talk- by then it will be time for babies first trims.

I did NOT empty the feed out of my car. I just did not have it in me. Mark that down as a failure

I got home ahead of my anticipated time, at 8:25. Fed the boys, the dogs, the pig, did a load of laundry and got in the shower. I did not have enough energy to even make a new pizza, which happens about once every ten years. By then it was RAINING! RAINING I SAY. At my house. It was like the twilight zone, so my computer went berserk. I fixed that. I figured out what had happened to jack up my camera, and figured a new way to get pics downloaded than the traditional way. I edited like I do practically every nite and sent some out to interested parties, and asphalt pics to Barry, lest he not believe the driveway was actually fixed.

I did not do any OSAD work. Hell, I had to rewind Big Brother twice to see what had happened because I was so sleepy I could not keep track. I was disgusted by the ouster of Jessica and Eric, just FYI. Even the dogs were ready for bed by 10:30.

Today is a new day, and I have only four errands to run--vet, East Side Lumber, pharmacy and if I had any sense, catch up on my overdue oil change, but I bet that does not happen.

See--the stories of my high energy drive to accomplish are greatly exaggerated!

Bound and determined to have a good week

And it might really happen. I broke down and made a litter box for the pig, and he likes it. That is good, but there are fewer things I hate more than a litter box. One of them however, is pigs pooping in my house, so there you go.

I think maybe the pig is trying to make up to me---he did not present himself well to Mandy at all, and I was embarrassed of his behavior. Is that what it is like having kids? Now he has taken up the litter box, and every time you plop him in there, he uses it. It is kind of cute, actually.

This evening, God willing, Slybaby #2 is headed to the trainer. I had planned to take Hawkeye, but he got kicked last week in the chest so he looked like he was sporting a set of DDs. Although BS said he looked fine last night, I have not eyeballed him my own self, so I will believe that when I see it. If so, he is still going. He needs the touch of the Secret Weapon, and he has some huge shoes to fill, following his sister Genuine Appeal's good showing. If Hawkeye is still all boobed up, then Radar will go. I am actually excited about this--two Slybabies at different trainers will make for an interesting comparison, I think.

I am otherwise on a roll already, which is pretty impressive for me on a Monday, I have confirmed the training drop off, left a message for the farrier, and written most of a brief. go ME!

Now if I can just mow some more things tonight as well, I will be beside myself!