Vin Diesel is in my pants

That is how I knew the new farrier was going to work out for me.

We were collecting horses for our fancy triage system of catching up on trimming, when my phone (which was in my pocket) started making a peculiar racket. I could not identify it right away, but by the time I got it out of my pocket, it was obvious that it was Vin Diesel was talking to me--I do not know how or why, but it felt dirty so I shut it off super fast. That means I never did figure out why Vin Diesel was on my phone--maybe it was a movie trailer, but why? I have never been able to get videos to play on it.

In any event, the new farrier Matt says to me "Vin Diesel is in your pants."

Yeah, I wish dude. You have no idea.

I took this as a good sign though, that new dude was going to fit in just fine around here.

By the time we got done trimming fifteen horses---FIFTEEN horses in four hours- I learned a lot more about the new dude. One of the more interesting things I learned is that he is truly scared of Leprechauns and midgets of all nature, as long as they are human. He cannot even eat Lucky Charms because of the leprechaun on the box--he has to buy generic ones. He says if they really do have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, then the bastards can just keep it. I almost peed on myself. At least I am scared of legitimate things like ladders and eels.

But Matt has a big idea about having an all midget rodeo. Miniature horses or just little ponies, Zebu cattle and midget competitors. He has something there, I hate to admit it, but I think this is a brilliant idea. The rodeo could be the novelty entertainment at things like Road to the Horse, or Congress, or things like that--that was my idea. How he is going to run a midget rodeo when he is scared of midgets I do not know--I suspect counting his money might make it easier. Now to figure out a way to make it not the most offensive obnoxious idea I have heard in a while, because it really is funny.

Interesting, he is not scared of miniature horses. He has some minis just to look at, and was content to trim Fonzie and willingly admitted that midget horses are fine by him. This might be a good niche for Snap's babies--they barely hit 14 hands ever, so might make good mounts for the midget rodeo and then I could pretend I meant that to happen.

I warned him that continued involvement with me would likely lead to public embarrassment on the internet. He is not concerned about this because once he agreed to make a sales video for a training client and they made him wear purple breeches in the video. He thinks I cannot top that level of humiliation.

He so does not know me.