Hard parts

Some times, life is just hard. This weekend was kind of hard.

I still don't feel good. I do not feel bad--just not GOOD. I am still tired, and I am coughing like crazy. I cannot get to sleep at nite, and I feel like a zombie the rest of the time. This has to end soon, surely.

So I cannot do much. I feel bad that I am just laying here all the time, it is driving Barry crazy. He got home early on Friday, and of course, I was asleep, which I always am lately.

I managed to get out of bed long enough to go to the movies Friday nite--we saw something I cannot remember right now. It was cute, whatever it was. Then we went to dinner, where I ordered Chili I could not eat for some reason, and went to Wal Mart and then to doctor the baby's leg, etc. I was so worn out after all that, but I could not fall asleep until 5am.

Saturday was the weigh-in for the end of the competition--I am down 23. 5 pounds. That is pretty dang good. I so want to work out again, but I cannot keep from coughing so it is still out of the question. It has been 10 days and now I will basically have to start all over again.

Since I cannot really DO anything, we went to the movies again, then to Lowe's then to the farm. Barry replaced a skylight in the roof which was damaged by the last storm, and I doctored everyone who needs it.

That is when things took a turn for the worse. I should have known things were going too well.

Barry got Tango's wrap off even though we had wanted to leave it on a few days--but it had slid down and things did not look good poking out of the top of it. That part was the easy part. It was so cold out that the salve that goes on the wound was not smearing well, so I had to put it on a bandage, then wrap that with the quilt, then put the polo wrap on it. Tango was in no mood for this. She fought like a banshee--she pawed, she struck, she reared up--she did it repeatedly, and every time, the medicated bandage would fly off, and we would have to start all over. I cannot believe how strong she is. I also cannot believe I did not get my head split open, because I was not about to let go of her when she was acting like that. For my efforts, I feel like I have been hit by a car not. All of that fighting got the blood flowing in the wound, which is great for her but not so great for me. I had blood all over the place--in my hair, all over my arms, on my face, etc. Since I had not planned to be there, I had no jacket and it was below freezing--so I was wearing Barry's. He was complaining that I was going to get medicine on it, so I had taken it off, and was freezing my ass off as she threw me around the stall. And of course that made me cough.

Can you picture that? Freezing my butt off, with blood all over me like I had been in a slaughterhouse, coughing like a three pack a day smoker---and Barry and I sniping at each other for not making it easier.

Yeah that was a treat. You do what you gotta do though, and she needed her leg wrapped and by God, was going to get it.

After that, we were to have dinner with Headleys--we were to meet them near their house then ride with them to the restaurant in Indiana. Our instructions were to stop at a certain exit on the interstate and wait at the hog barn. That was a first--I have not ever started a Saturday nite like that before, I don't believe. Dinner was excellent though--I have not eaten like that in months.

Back to bed I went, until today, when I had to get up and do it all over again. We met Barry's brothers and mom and niece and nephew near St Louis for lunch, for Barry's mom's birthday. I mostly coughed during it all, so I am sure that they did not enjoy me that much, but it was nice to see them. All that running got the best of me, and I fell asleep on the way home, while I tried to listen to the Illinois basketball game. That must have cursed them as they got beat--which they rarely do at home, and was disappointing. Not so disappointing that I could stay awake though. I took a real nap for more than three hours after the game was over, and I am so exhausted that I did not even move.

I sure hope I can get through the work day tomorrow, I need to go to work. I am just so tired from it all. I have been awake from more than two hours now and I think I have hit my limit.

I need this week to go well. It is foaling time, and the foalcam is not working, and that makes me anxious. I feel so behind at work, but I know I am not really since I got the big honking project done in the few hours I was there last week. Somehow, I feel very stressed lately, like I am about to pop and I do not feel like anything good is liable to come of it. I also feel like I am shouldering everything by myself, and no matter how hard I try to keep things moving forward with a minimum of drama, I cannot do everything on my own, and it frustrates me that I have to.

I am sure that I will feel better when I can exercise, which I hope is soon. Barry might be here this week, and he joined the other gym with me--so now we are members all over town, and yet I still cannot exercise--so he can go to spinning class with me. I hope that will help him be a little more supportive of how hard I am trying, if he actually sees how hard I am working. He seems to be the only one that is not really cheering me on with all the exercise and diet, and I do not know why that is, but it makes me sad. That and his family did not notice at all, so that is probably hurting my feelings a little bit--and I do not know why it bothers me, since really they do not have any interest in me (except Zach, he does or at least acts like it) so it is not like it is unexpected.

Man, I do not know where that came from. I guess I am wrapped a little tighter than I realized, and I have not even started complaining about the major things that are weighing on my mind. No wonder I am sick, I am beating my self up all the time.

I am tired of this

Surprise free day

Yesterday came up expectedly open. We had the farrier scheduled for all day, so Barry got up early early to do his part of getting ready for him...bringing in a few hours and lining them up in stalls and making them more easily accessible for me. I hear it was a fiasco, with no one doing what they were told or going where they should. Plus it was COLD, with all the waters still frozen. He got all that done and went to St Louis to ride bikes with Brant, and to meet Shawn, who was on his way home from Colorado for the holidays. Why in God's name they go places this early, especially after working so hard all week and not getting home from until 10 pm Friday nite, I will never understand. Since I really wanted him to stay home to help me, I did not feel bad that he had to get up early--after all, I would be in it all day, so he could do a few hours.

Turns out, after all that, Marvin thew his back out and he had to cancel. Since Marvin is one of the few people I really like, I hate to hear that, as I know how hard he works and the things he has to do in a day--a bad back is not funny.

I have to tell you that I laughed a little bit about the cancellation. Not a huge amount, because that let me go back to bed! I so needed to get many more hours of sleep--not that I had been out late the nite before, as I had not. I had dinner with Jackie and Jodi near St Louis, but I was home by 10:30--we had a great dinner and laughed our fool heads off. Jackie is pregnant and her 3 year old son has decided that the baby is a girl and her name is Bunny. I do not know why that is funny, but it is. Jodi has a lot going on in her world too, so it was really nice to take a few hours, have a great steak and hog our booth for longer than was fair to the restaurant.

So I got a later start than planned Saturday morning. I attempted to get things fixed at the farm, but things were still frozen---that sent me off to town to do some errands. On the way, I went by the park, and saw some funny bird activities at the park.
I love the color on this dude, it is so vibrant

He was having a big time ducking under the water.
It was so cold that the fountain in the pond was frozen at the base.
And these birdies were standing in the middle of the pond, on ice. It just rarely gets this cold here, so it is crazy that it happened this early in the year. That is not encouraging
I spent a lot of the rest of the day messing with the horses that Barry had caught for the imaginary trimming appointments. There were extra horses in stalls--like 2 yearlings in one stall, and they were a mess with cockleburrs in their hair, just crazy looking. Since they were in, and I was still trying to get spigots thawed out so that I could water, I spent the rest of the day playing.

I must have pulled cockleburrs for two hours. You can tell by Hammer's crazy frizzy forelock that he was the worst one, it was like one big dreadlock. Not only was he a good boy for all the work I did on him--and no one likes having those things pulled out because they hurt so bad--but I also gave him a refresher course on how to stand tied like a good boy. Or I tried. It is hard to teach one anything when they just do it like they have known how their whole lives. I am sure he got a few lessons as a baby, but most of his training came from when he cut his leg up and had to be doctored for months. He has forgotten none of it.


But even better, those horrid warts are going away! After having them since early spring, they are drying up. When they finally go away, he is going to be so handsome.

Not only did he get all his services, so did Cricket, Voodoo and Phoenix--who is already well over 14 hands, which is unheard of for a yearling at my house. In fact, I had to do a package check to determine which was which between her and Voodoo. I groomed until I was choking on dirt and hair, I braided tails, I dewormed anyone who slowed down near me, I got a lot done and really enjoyed myself.

On my second, third or fourth trip to town, I met this fella-- In town in the remnants of an old trailer park. I guess this was the smart one who figured out that town was safer than the country, as this weekend was shotgun season.

This is what everyone was doing this morning. We got up early because we had so much to do and only so much day light---this was way before I normally get up on a Sunday. Even the horses were not awake yet. It was already 20 degrees warmer than the day before, which was very welcome.
The rest of the day was spent replacing the fence lines at the house, so that Sly will stay out of my backyard. I really do not mind him in the backyard, but he is smart enough to figure out that if he can walk through that line of the fence, he can walk through the outer barriers. That has not ever been an issue because it was so overgrown, that he could not really even see the fence through the brush. Now though, there are trees down on the fenceline and as the leaves have dropped and the brush dries up, you can see that there are serious fence problems.

Barry worked on it for 6 hours, and I helped for a few of them--when I was not going to TSC to get more hotwire, etc. Barry weedeated all around the back fence line and that crappy think Safefence stuff just shredded in his hands as he tried to tighten it where branches had landed on it and stretched it out. He did the fence line between us and the neighbors whose yard looks like a park, and I think they considered crying out of gratitude that it is getting cleaned up.

We burned piles and piles of branches, but of course it is still not done. There is just so much, and more trees to cut up and burn--if we are lucky enough to get one more nice day before the end of the year, when we are actually home and able bodied, we might actually get it done. Cleaning it all up will expand the available pasture by about 20%. It is amazing how quickly that sort of mess can sneak up on you, and once we get it under control, I hope it never happens again!

That is how I am starting the week. I have not been to the gym since Wednesday so tomorrow I am definitely going. I am going to come home during mandatory lunch tomorrow and use my serious Roundup on the fence lines (assuming he fixed my sprayer parts), and go to the gym after work. I have tomorrow nite and Tuesday nite to get the stalls at the farm cleaned--I keep asking Madison to work on them, but it has not happened, so I guess I have to gear up and do my own work. That kinda sucks.

Wednesday, Mandy, Edward and Gabi arrive in the morning, and I have lunch with my legal girl gang. Wednesday nite is always a big practice at Hutch's, but I do not know if I will be able to go or if something else will come up--we shall see, I guess.

Now to just make it that far so I can enjoy the holiday weekend.