Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Random Thoughts and Questions from the Couch

Since that is where I spend the bulk of my time, and most of that is spent watching TV or sleeping, where I likely dream about what I watched on TV---I bring to you some of the thoughts I have had over the past 6 or 7 weeks or however long I have been laying here.

First, why do I all of a sudden think I need some platform pumps with spikes on them?  I mean to tell you that I really think I do.  I had to go to the doc today where I got info that required me to buy a dress.  Or four.  Whatever.  Which made me think of shoes, and the next thing you know, I was prancing around in the aisles wearing some six inch heels with spikes, and it made perfectly good sense for me to buy them.  Fortunately, I came to my senses and left without them. I cannot walk right in three inch heels any more and why do I need to be 6'1" or 6'2", for real?  Rarely has that been called for but I damn sure wanted those shoes. They were even on sale. Unfortunately, now that I am home on the couch, I want spiked shoes so bad I am on the interwebz to find me some and of course, the first pair that I really liked enough to buy cost $499 on clearance.  I think not.  Hopefully, those sorts of speed bumps will keep popping up and I will not do something so foolish as buying drag queen shoes on the internet.

Second, since I am the kind of person who can rarely watch even a good movie more than once, how come I can watch the same exact episodes of Storage Wars over and over again?  Some days, they play a series of 6 or 8 episodes in a row--all of which are re-runs by now--and I watch them all.  Then I lay here long enough to watch the whole thing all over again.  I hate Darrel and his hairy shoulders in a tank top and his stupid lisp and know it all attitude, and yet, here I lay talking shit to him for 6 or 8 hours a day while he is life size on the big TV. What does this say about me? About as much as the fact that I am currently watching Toddlers and Tiaras and I have the remote in my hand, so I could change it if I saw fit.  Clearly, I do not.

Third, did you know that it is difficult to buy a bra for knockers this big that has no underwire, and does not look like something a grandma would wear?  Especially that is not outrageously expensive. Anyone have any suggestions on where to look that would fit the bill for the rare occasion that I get to wear one so far....and since it will be at least February or later til these things get cut down to an appropriate size, I need to not get too invested in a pack of hideous bras for Gygantor and baby Gygantor.

I better save my other ramblings for another post--I feel a Percocet kicking in--so it might get far more interesting


the cubicle's backporch said...

I cannot tell you the last time I wore a pair of heels... yet I'm always drawn to them when I'm shopping. Now the spiked part... well that's just impressive!

Are they hailing you as a medical marvel?

Toddlers & Tiaras... gah. Every once in a while I'll catch it and watch it and KNOW that it's so ridiculous that I should change it. But it's like a train wreck.

Anonymous said...

Interesting blog----comparing bras for knockers to hi-hi-heels Ahem!

Glad you are improving! enjoy

Photo of the Whenever I feel like changing it

Photo of the Whenever I feel like changing it


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