Its a GIRL~!

You cannot know how long I have waited this season to say this!

We have a girl baby. For 41 minutes, Aries has been on day 340- and she came through about 17 hours ago.

I was in Springfield learning more proof of how you cannot shake a baby to death, and BS was in St Louis foolishly believing he could transform the 3G world into a 4G one in this weather--but both of us were watching on the foalcam. I was sure she would foal with us gone, as that is how it rolls around here, and damned if she did not. I woke up every hour to check the foal cam until about 5 am when I got serious about my nine--count 'em nine- feather pillows at the Hilton and slept until 8 am. nothing was happening

at 8:20, Barry called and said I had a baby, and I argued with him. I should have known that was how the day would go.

We both watched for a minute, then I locked myself out of the hotel room, had to address that...blah blah blah,......a bunch of Paige stuff. Made me 30 minutes late for the conference and jacked up my CLE hours. Oh well, I like learning, I can do more.

BS called Mad to go over and make sure it was good. We saw no sign she did, but evidently she eyeballed it and moved on

I called mom, told her baby was born and we did not need her.

Little did I know. I ended up calling her back and sending her away. I may not have been explicit enough. I am not a fruit about being there---but I am superstitious beyond belief and had reason to believe I perhaps should have told mom to haul ass, do not pass go, do not collect $200. I failed to do that

Ninety minutes later, nothing had happened. I mean nothing. No Madison, no mom, no baby to be seen (the camera cuts off a corner of the stall), and no activity from mom, other than ugly thrashing and pain from Aries.

I started freaking. I started channelling last year when Squeak foaled and we thought all was well, went off and behaved badly, and came home to a bad baby. It scared me

I called Barry and cussed his ass while he kept asking why about every direction I gave. WHY? Because I said so, and because my life revolves around every single part of foaling, so when I say DO IT, it is because I have thought it out. You need not question me, just assume this is my forte and I know what I am talking about. Everyone else does. My problem was that I was underground in a conference, and had a bad connection, and I needed a vet on standby before their office closed at 10 am, in case something went wrong with us gone, and we needed assistance--if you jack around, vets might get on with their regular lives like hanging with family etc and not be handy for when I get an emergency, unless they know I am brewing. I have great vets--if they know I have a situation brewing, they won't quit me, as they know I only call when need be. Yes, it would suck to call one because I am stuck 150 miles away with a shaken baby expert, but then again, that is why they bill me and don't do it for fun. Yet BS talked shit to me

Finally I got mom on the phone, and learned she was running errands. And why shouldnt she--no one told her it was an emergency, and while that is easy to see, it was not there. I was half ballistic. I was so scared

Okay fast forward two hours--BS came from St Louis, Mom had worn herself out trying to get short stuff to nurse, and had finally gone for Madison across the street. I am now recharging my phone, since I have refreshed my foalcam still photo 1000 times, and I still dont know what is happening. Foaling is one of the few times I have to do it myself to believe it is real. I do not think I knew that until today.

Finally, BS got here, swore baby nursed----blah blah blah---I cried half the way home and you cannot tell me why. I think it was adrenaline. And doubt. Had I watched this foaling, I never would have felt like this-- or woken up and found this baby----but seeing it from a distance and things not go right (what with Aries weird thrashing and running from baby so she could not nurse) made me feel so helpless. I do not do helpless. I have always sucked at that. I do not get "can't".

That does not mean it does not have me.

But, I am happy to report that I have a new girl who is catching up. According to mom, it is all thanks to Mad, who she went to collect from her house to ask for help. Mom said Mad was on top of it, down to picking up baby girl and putting her right on the ninny to eat. By the time she did it, it was likely a matter of life and death, so thank God she pulled through.

And as cranked up as this story is, all of us (mom, BS, and me) have all been caught up in a whole bunch of tragedy (different kinds but equally hard to deal with) this week that makes all this seem unimportant. That does not mean I did not lose my shit with my mom and BS on the phone today, completely lose my shit because I was underground with the shaken baby people and really needed to shake a baby myself, because I totally did. But now that it is okay, I am holding my breath til tomorrow to see what it feels like.

Being several people at a time ==breeder, lawyer, wife, daughter---is hard. I think I might suck at it. Most days all those roles fall in line, but when they do not, it is impossible to feel like I am good at any of them. And that sucks