A virgin no longer

To aerobics people. Aerobics.

I finally sucked it up and went to an aerobics class- a real one. Thirty-six years old and I finally quit caring what people would think if I fell down or could not do it. Well, that is not entirely true, but I figured if my mom could do it, surely I could too. (Note: I was pretty close to wrong on that)

I went on my lunch hour today to the Y, which is not my regular gym but where I have a free membership as part of this stupid Lose to Win competition. Here is the embarrassing part--I went to the class for people who are 50 and over. I swear to God. Mom said I could, but .....then I remembered that I am a grown person who makes a fool of herself all the time, so what is one more day? My logic is that I would surely be able to keep up with that--plus it is very low impact which is what I need for my right knee. Remind me of that when I am having flashes of humiliation.

We were a couple of minutes late, so they were already started when we got there. We got in the back of the class and joined in. I made sure to be far enough off to the side that I could not see myself in the mirror--I did not need that kind of trauma this early in the game.

Within four minutes, I had a cramp. In both sides. I was starting to panic, because for sure everyone in there was a minimum of twenty years older than me, and some obviously more than thirty and I was the only one that was about to stroke out. I kept at it though, and I did it! It worried me when the teacher (a man teacher ) kept asking if we were warmed up yet, since I was about to crash. I am pretty sure I kept saying "f%&$" every time I exhaled, but since they were mostly old people, the only one that heard me was mom. I hope.

There were two other noteworthy things about this class--besides me living through it, that is. First, I was not the least coordinated person in the class. That has never happened to me anywhere-ever. For someone who used to be such an athlete, I am a complete clutz now--and it started long before I got fat. I do not know what happened to cause it, but I can fall out of my own shoes, and more than once, I have fallen face first off my own front porch. I have a serious problem. But today, there was one lady who messed up more than me! And of course, it was the only other person I knew there, and she is kind of important. It did my heart good--if she had the nerve to be there trying being all clumsy like that, so could I.

And the second thing is even stranger. The man teacher would occasionally squawk out a line to a song or a direction in a muppets voice. I think it was Animal. At first I did not know if he was pretending, or if there was something wrong with him besides being a man aerobics teacher. By the end of the class I figured it out though--he was being silly. I think he might have some weird form of Tourettes that makes you talk like a muppet.

I was so fired up after I did it, that I was ready to beat someone's ass. When I got to work, I met a co-worker in the parking lot, who I know was going to smoke a cigar. I am anti-that, and tell him so every day, and I may have almost assaulted him, I was so wound up. He is used to me though, so he was not terribly skeered.

Mid-afternoon, Jenna called to see if I was dead. When I told her I was going to try the spinning class after work on Tuesday, she told me it would be hard and I probably could not do it. Oh hell no, she did not say that. Now I will do that class if it is the last thing I every do. Unless of course, I decide that she said that just to make sure I did make it through the class-she knows how I think.

After an afternoon of work, I realized my plan to go to the other gym and lift weights and use the treadmill was insane. I was crashing fast. My hips hurt for some reason. Plus, I was exhausted.
So I failed on that one. I came home and got in bed and watched a whole bunch of episodes of Run's House. I had told Barry that I would go to the gym with him when he went tonight, but I guess he could tell I was kaput, as I remember him coming in while I was asleep and asking if I was cold or hot or needed another blanket or something--I am pretty sure he has never done that before.

Tomorrow is a new day--I am doing water aerobics at 10:45 and spinning class at 5:10. Then I have a special event tomorrow nite that I cannot wait to blog about, but I will need pics to make it better.

Keep your fingers crossed. I am really pushing my luck asking for all this coordination from myself. It is bound to give out soon.