Monday Morning Quarterbacking

Here is the first and by far the most important matter--some damn bot-like creature has gotten up in my gmail account again--do not ask me how as I do not know in light of the fact that the IT department of my agency put in all these extra security things so this could not happen to me.

I am so sorry to everyone who got a stupid email that looks like it is from me, but is of course not. The other side effect, besides pissing off people all across the world who have gotten it just because once I emailed them (for example, KB Toys) and my gmail remembered their address--is that gmail's solution is to shut me down. I cannot email anything out for a while. Now there is a sentence, huh? I can receive emails- but then have to respond from another account. If you have some bidness with me, email away and then expect a response from another account. Again, I apologize for this mess, I have no idea how it happened.

This has me kind of hamsturng in my regular pattern of witty repartee (yeah right) that I usually engage in to avoid reading about this kolling I am supposed to be all about that is not as interesting as I wanted it to be, and thus I am resentful. Another good sentence there- way too full of info for one sentence

What else happened since I last talked to you people? AH! That pig ate a gourd. A Whole gourd of about 20 pounds. I should not be surprised since he ate a 55 pound pumpkin in less than 48 hours but this one he dragged off to his house and slept with first--then he ate it. That suggests to me that he has some sort of weird tendencies--who naps with their food before they eat it? I hope I do not have a Pigg-rey Dahmer on my hands here.

I went riding with the Heads and my mom yesterday. Mom's back held up well, even with lots of trotting, so that is good--it has been almost 5 years since she broke it in a horse accident. Radar was even better than usual this time, that horse is a jewel.

If you pay attention very long around here, you will learn that we are communication- challenged in this family. Mom forgets to tell things, then is irritated when you do not know it--or tells it wrong and botches up everything (see: the great Canadian escapade); dad cannot remember anything so he tells the same story a lot; Mandy thinks she is too busy to keep a person updated on what is going on--Barry also cannot remember anything; Edward will not take his email in a timely manner--you can imagine the havoc this wreaks on me and my mental health, since I am the only competent one. Anyone who disagrees with that can take a leave of absence right now---you know I am the one who is on top of things. This bad communication is particularly stupid considering that there are practically more communication degrees in this family than there are legs.

On our ride, I discovered yet another faux pas in the communication field. Next weekend is the 90th bday party for my Gran Gran and Aunt Irene, in SW Missouri, close to Memphis. It had to be that weekend because Aunt Jana, who lives in Chicago, is one of the givers, and thought it would be swell to have it then, so she could then travel on to North Carolina for a wedding the following weekend. Since my Uncle Bob lives in NC, she is going to take Gran Gran and tump her there for a visit. All this makes sense, but it interferes with the annual Columbus Day camping trip we go on--and that will be way more fun this year now that I can pee indoors in my new trailer.

However, since we would have had to leave the trip at 1 pm, go to party, get back at 7 pm--our other campers decided that was stupid and of course it is stupid, so we delayed the trip until the following weekend. I was sad for some reason.

On the trail ride I learned that Mandy and Gabi are coming to the party. No one told me this, and last I heard, they were not coming because she cannot just be getting on the airplane every Friday to fly here from Houston, and she was just here for Em's wedding, and will be here for Thanksgiving. No one told me that she was coming----but she is.

That kind of changes things, cuz it will be way more fun. Not that seeing the family will not be nice too, but families are weird, this one for real is, and really--90th
birthday parties are not high up on the list of rocking good times

There is the complicating factor that I am not good at groups- they make me anxious, and if they are related to me, they can make me more anxious because for one, they can be kind of mean. Like for sure, they will talk about how fat I am. And two, they think I suck. Which is not far from the truth, but who would not suck having been compared their whole lives to the Golden Child, who now has the Golden Baby? I am just not as outgoing as Mandy is, and that makes me look even more surly. Which I am. I know. And since this shindig is in the Baptist Church, even I know that I cannot sneak in a champagne or something to make it more fun.

Now, not only has this foolishness been going on and I did not know it, now mom wants me to stay the nite down there. Well, I do not have anything else to do since the camping trip is cancelled. And that would let me hang out with Kim, my cousin, and I hear that Johnny and Ciara from Florida (other cousins) will be there, and I love them both and never see them. And Tom and Nicki, who are more family than most people, who I also never see and would love to hang out with--Tom and I are parallel people which is a whole other story; and Jennifer and Julie who are also part of the family we thought we were related to but are not, who shall arrive sometime after Murray State Homecoming...now things are getting more interesting. And I never willingly pass on a chance to see mom's cousin Larry who really ought to be institutionalized for a number of reasons, but is great fun to drink beer with (as long as it is not in public, as God knows he will say something that will earn him some threats on his life).

Now to spring this on Barry--who is pretty laid back and will probably be fine with it as there is after all a casino bar to hang out at.

That is pretty much the developments thus far on this lovely Monday in southern Illinois---stay tuned for things to start falling apart, as you know they will sooner or later!