Where Paige and the Pig go to town

Boce was not touched by divine intervention of any sort in the nite, so we had to go to the vet this morning at 7 am. I was just going to load him up in the back of the car and mosey on down the road, but Barry thought he needed a crate.

I did not see a chance in hell he could get him in a crate in his condition--since you could not use food to lure him in, which is his normal manner or being talked into things, and if he was interested in food, he would not need a vet.

But you know how men are, they do not listen--especially Barry to me-- so he dragged in a pretty big crate from the garage and put it in the laundry room and tried to chase Boce in there. I thought this would be futile since Boce was just laying on his towel hiding, and would not likely move, but he did and loaded himself right up.

I should have known it was going to be one of those days.

We picked the crate up and put him in the back of the truck. There Boce took a big poop while I was getting my purse--so Barry came running in the back door yelling about poop. I sure never thought I would be excited about pig poop, but I sure was as this suggested he was not suffering from a blockage or constipated--blockage was one of my biggest fears as it takes surgery to fix, and I just do not know where I stand on pig surgery.

Off I went--toodling through town, me and my pig. There is a road closure between me and the vet, so I had to drive down Main Street with my pig. I talked on the phone to the vet on the way, who was going to be ready for me, and said something about pig syphillis.

Pig syphillis? Are you freaking kidding me? I could not be sure he was serious, or was just trying to get me riled up. Where would my little boy get him some syphillis, I ask you?
Not in my house, I think not. I decided Kevin must be kidding, that could not really be something. Besides, the Baconator is a virgin, I am sure of it.

I got to the office, me and everyone else in town, and I see that my baby boy has pissed in his crate. A lot. It is a wire crate so who cares, but not much stinks more than pig pee--it is right up there with cat pee. I was glad he did, even though it made things a horrible mess, because that meant his systems were still working. And that his weiner had not fallen off from pig syphillis. What a relief.

I went in to wait my turn. Kevin has some new chicks working in his office, and one I have never seen before---so she does not know me, and thus is likely in for a rude awakening in dealing with my perpetual ailments. Also, she does not seem to think I am funny. The other new one may already have something against me, as she kept skipping my name on the list. I am going to have to see about that business right there. I talked to my neighbor who was there with her new puppy, which was nice.

In any event, it was finally my turn and Kevin came out to deal with the pig. By this time, Boce had matted up eyes, and drainage, he was foaming a little at the mouth and I swear to you, 80% of his hair has fallen out. As we petted him last nite, it just fell all over the floor. This pig is so sick, he let Kevin drag him out of his cage to get his temp taken--104 degrees.

While we waited on the tailgate for Kevin to make his shots, I got Boce some water and he took a couple of sips. That made me happy. He did not get much in him, but Kevin is not worried about dehydration really since he is not puking or having the runs (the pig, not Kevin, I do not know about his situation, but he looked okay)

Boce got a shot of banamine for his tum tum tum and to bring his temperature down....so I did right on that last nite. He also got a shot that I swear must be the AIDS cocktail, so many things went in it--some heavy duty antibiotics. Peeg is so sick that he stood there and took his shots without any argument. This is not normal peeg behavior, I assure you.

I asked a bunch of stupid questions, tried to make him promise that Boce is not dying, confirmed he would not be pooping if he was blocked, and put his fat butt back in his crate. I drove him home, through town again, hoping that someone I do not like would get behind me in the truck and get pig pee on their windshield----no such luck. I just keep looking for that elusive silver lining, but it appears to be lost like everything else in my world

As I got close to the house, I realized I had another dilemma on my hands--how to get Boce from the bed of the truck to the bathroom where he needs to chill til he is a well pig (assuming he gets to be a well pig at all, which no one will promise me yet). No way I could lift that crate by myself- it is too big and bulky and he is heavy enough on his own. Plus there was pee sloshing around in there.

I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that I got him out and in his bathroom and he is mad as hell--which does my heart good. I gave him some water and a new blanket that was Thor's, but I guess he does not need that now---and I dished up a little bit of piggy food and went to get him an apple, just in case he decided to eat. And when I came back, he was starting to eat the piggy food!

I called everyone, I swear to you--Barry, Jenna, my work---to tell them my pig is eating. I do not know how much it will eat, and I am sure the banamine has kicked in to help him feel better, but I will take it.

I changed clothes, and came to work.

It is only 11 am and I need a nap

Keep praying for the Baconator, I love him too and I need a little good news, as I am not handling the loss of Thor very well. I woke up in his bed last nite and was so disoriented that I hit my head on the wall and could not find the lights. When I realized where I was, I cried, and not just because I hit my head.

This ain't easy