Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How to make it rain

I think the old standby of washing your car is overdone and lost its power.

So we came up with a new way to make it rain.

1. Find filthy animal. (pretty easy to do here). We chose the pig because Barry said he came in the house and a cloud of funk followed him. I personally thought that was Tequila farting, but Barry is sure it is Bocephus. This mud on the walls in the corner of the porch is from him putting his dirty body in the corner to sleep. This is how the pig got selected for the raining experiment.




2. Do not tell animal what is coming. If you tell him, he will run and there will be nothing you can do about it. Make it rain plan will fail.

3. Convince animal he loves you and should come get some petting and cuddles--then sneak up on him and squirt special animal shampoo on him. In this case, we used special pig shampoo I ordered when pig was a baby and kind of stinky (turns out he needed to be neutered, not bathed, and since that happened he has required no bath)
4. Trap animal in small area. I trapped him on the porch and lathered him up. No pics of that, since I was lathering and running defense to keep him on the porch.

5. Realize that pigs DO fly. If they want off the porch, away from evildoers intent on bathing him, they will fly right off the end of the porch and run like hell. This is what they look like when they are running like hell. Note the non soaped up head---I had not gotten that far yet when he made a break for it. Pigs bite when they are really pissed you know. And it hurts. Take my word for it.
6. Have conference on how to outsmart pig. Eleven or thirteen years of college between us, and still it was not an easy conclusion. Decide to bribe pig. Pigs like food. Even more than they hate people bathing them, evidently. Silly pig, food will be your downfall. You ARE my pig at heart, aren't you?7. Congratulate yourself on how well that worked. Pig is so intent on eating, he will take the hosing. Just do not get between him and his food. Note: Make sure there is enough bribery material to last as long as the rinsing takes. We dropped the ball there and got most of it, but he got done and ran like the wind as soon as he finished eating.
8. Be proud of yourself for washing your animal and making him presentable for new cleaning lady to come tomorrow. I guess I could have washed the dishes instead, but that would not make it rain.

9. Wait for storm to start and the house to shake and the camera to get wet from sitting in car with windows down.....within four hours we had a MONSOON!

7 comments:

Robin Sallie said...

If you need a bit more rain, come wash my Blue dog.

Lorna said...

Poor, pooooor Boce, being used as an instrument to make it rain. I bet had you looked at the radar on weather.com you would never have had to bathe your piggy....

Paige said...

I most certainly did and it showed it going north of us like it ALWAYS does.

It rained so hard that Mike Jenna and Same could not leave for hours, so we had a piano concert.

Those pics are next

Paige said...

So what I want to know is how he can find stinky mud to lay in if it has not rained?

And how filthy will he be when I get home, since there actually was rain and perhaps puddles to lay in.

I think he is actually wallering in horse shit and the high traffic areas that always stink

Amy B. said...

You've discovered the new form of the rain dance! Nice!

*Sarah* said...

haha that was great, poor Boce, it's so hard to be a pig

Anonymous said...

Ah Ha! some areas have the Bermuda Triangle------Southern Illinois has ITS TRIANGLE missing rain- - - -

So does Tennessee.

However I will not get a pig, no matter how sweet, cute and funny as my "weather guide"

I will enjoy your pictures instead
Enjoy Carol

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