Tuesday, January 8, 2013

New year, new me

As if last year was not dramatic enough, this year is going to be full of changes as well.  And no, these are not resolutions, they are plans.

I don't even know myself what they all are going to be. I have a new Deputy at my office, which brings with it many unknowns. I may not continue breeding horses after this year. I don't know that it matters to me much any more. I have left behind some people who were not good for me, and brought back into my life people who were missing for way too long. I have learned to appreciate more some who have been there all along.

Some things are going to stay the same.  I am going to keep busting my butt to get rid of these last pounds, as much as the doctor will let me, and I am going to do my best to get through the remaining surgeries with as little drama as possible--the next one is Feb 6. I am going to try to line out my schedule so I do not have to work every weekend like I do now. I am going to try to enjoy my life more, even if that means that the laundry is not done. I am going to ride horses more, and spend more time with friends, even if it interrupts my addiction to reality TV. I am going to eliminate people and issues that cause me undue drama.

I started 2013 with two of my best friends from college-- Amy B and one, Tammy,  that I have not seen in 15 years and have missed more than I knew. Maybe that set me off thinking about this whole thing---I never would have thought it would be so easy for 15 years to pass, but it did and we have wasted so much time. I don't want that to happen again.  Even with so many amazing new people in my life, there is room for all those great people from my past that I have lost touch with because we just got lazy.  There will be even more room once I rid myself of habits and issues that are not good for me.

So that is the plan. I am going to actually be the person I think I am, and correct the things I do not like about myself. Im going to shut down that voice in my head that tells me I am screwing up everything, and learn to trust myself again.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to do that---send them my way, cuz this sounds like a hell of a big job


Venom said...

Paige, good for you for deciding to make such big changes. What's important is that you are HAPPY, and you're definitely on the right track.
Big New Years Hug!

Paige said...

sometimes, that is much easier said than done....but now that I have an idea what happy is, I have to make it happen. If only I was as sure about everything as I was 20 years ago...let's just forget that part about how I was wrong 20 years ago! by God, I was SURE!

Photo of the Whenever I feel like changing it

Photo of the Whenever I feel like changing it


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