Tuesday, October 5, 2010

More scenes from my jacked up world

I guess I get used to it but still sometimes I am surprised by the ridiculous things that happen in my life. Today is a good example

It started this morning when I woke up and it was 52 degrees in my house. That is a little nippy even for me. But I will be damned if I turn the heat on the same week I turned the A/C off. Plus, I am hardly ever here, and when I am, I sleep with big smelly heat providing dogs. I dont need the furnace. Good thing too since I am in a war with my propane provider and am ready to carry through on my three year old threats to quit their asses. This will require the propane to run out so the propane tank can go away and a new one come in--so every morning when I turn on the shower, I hold my breath that there will actually be hot water. I am way too stubborn though to give up already paid for propane, so I play this stupid game of getting as close to out as possible before I call someone.

Today, though, I had hot water. I thought that was a good thing until I got in there and tried to shave my legs, something I also do every day. Do not ask me why, but I go nutty if I do not shave every day. Little known fact about me--and kind of odd since I probalby do not brush my hair more than twice a week. I am a little sore from training with the Bad Boy yesterday--that is what I have named my new trainer. By the time I put my left foot up on the wall, my hamstrings were screaming. I was in legitimate fear that I would not get out of the shower at all, and would be stuck in there when the propane finally ran out.

I managed to live through that, and moseyed down to the barn here at the house to check on the Fonzinator. I bought him some chopped timothy and oat hay and I wanted to see how he was getting along with it. He loves it--so much so that he knocked the dish out of my hand, and pitched it all over me. You dont know me well if you think I bothered to change clothes before moving on. I did not. I do not have time for that sort of bidness.

Next I ran my before work errand--returning a bucket of mouse babies to the elevator where I buy feed. A bucket of babies, I said. That is not something that comes up very often, but if it is going to happen, it will happen to me. When I opened a bag of feed, I found a number of peculiar things in it, but the most offensive was a batch of teeny mouse babies. Cooked, or something unappetizing. Must not have been cooked, mom pointed out, or they would have been dried out and they most definitely were not. They were sort of gelatinous, which is the absolute worst condition I think anything can be in. They were little bald babies, but had whiskers and toenails and I suspect they will keep showing up in my nightmares for a while. Anyway, bucket of babies delivered with not nearly the reception I thought they were entitled to.

On to work, I went. It was a regular day--lunch with my mom, finishing an aggravated battery brief, and putting the finishing touches on some thievery, read about some good old fashioned killing, I solved a pile of problems, and handled 30-11 phone calls of varying natures, most of which were about how the world is out to get someone. I do not know what these other people are whining about, I am the one who had to drive a bucket of freaking babies around town like they were Miss damn Daisy. I am clearly the one with drama in her life. Mostly today, I felt effective, focused, good at my job, and totally on the ball. That is probably why today strikes me as an odd one--I did not feel at all like everything was spinning out of control and I had to chase it down and tackle it. That despite the phone ringing off the hook, everyone needing something and the physical condition of my office being enough to make me need a sedative.

I was on such a roll, I worked late. I do that a lot, but it messes me up re: the rest of my life when it gets dark and I am still there. It mixes me completely up. Watch me go back there in the morning and find out I messed up everything I touched--I swear I have the anti-Midas touch.

The Bad Boy was so proud of me at the gym he said to me "Look at your balls!" At first, I found that peculiar, but I have decided to embrace it.

Look at my balls, indeed


Holly said...

eww eww eww...ick! The babies...double ick! *squinches eyes shut* ewewwww.

balls? you have balls? Ones that people can see???? Oh my.

Paige said...

Im hoping that it is in reference to my hard work--we were talking about my big biceps at the time he first said it. Which are not in fact, balls.

Im taking it as a "go me" sort of thing.

Funder said...

We got our new tank of propane for $1.80/gallon cause we're new customers, and we are guarding it like it's precious gold. We only really use it for the range but if we need to turn the furnace on we can. I just thought you should be jealous of that ;)

And just FYI, oat hay is usually pretty high in NSCs so it's not so good for laminitic equines!

Mummy mice babies sound horrible :x

Paige said...

I am jealous--I paid $2.29 last year. obscene.

There is very little oat hay in here--just a little mixed in with the timothy. Anything beats the fancy fancy alfalfa I have for everyone else. I will fetch him some bleached bermuda when I get a free moment--

Amanda said...

Did those mouse babies look anything like those frozen bunnies that you found? probably not since they were frozen solid and these were gelatinous.


And your balls... that's just funny.

Funder said...

OMG I miss bermuda so bad. There is NONE out here. It's mostly orchardgrass, which according to Dixie tastes like Astroturf. I finally found some horrendously expensive four-way grass hay that my spoiled princess will eat.

Funder said...

Also our propane is normally $3.19 a gallon. We really don't want to use up this tank for YEARS!

Paige said...

No they did not Mandy--these were sort of free form floppy babies--and only about 1/2 inch long. not at all like the bunnies, that actually looked like fish sticks.

This is World feeder Bermuda Funder--hard to come by around here, and I really use it for just filler. Most of them are eating it in round bales for the moment, but as soon as they are cold again, back to alfalfa they go.

I LOVE orchard grass. That is my second favorite in a round bale, and small square. Good stuff

Anonymous said...

Thinking! ! ! Balls? you have balls! or gonads!

Hm: Is Bad Boy complimenting you that you can run with the "Big Boys" who truly are 'Boys"

You have mice---we have salamanders. Ugh! ! !

enjoy yourself! ! ! Carol

duffylou said...

The word of the day is definitely gelatinous. I mean really, how often can you work gelatinous into a conversation? Just hearing it gives me the heebeegeebees.

I thought I was stubborn but you have me beat. My heat went on when the temp inside read 60. I know. I'm a wuss and I'm not worthy. And I totally don't have balls.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

mice babies would of freaked me out. You are a good girl. Most of the time I don't even shave all winter unless the mood hits me. Nobody see's or touches anything hairy at this house. lol

Rob said...

Thank you for cruising on by my blog, and I agree with your comment. I was an ugly baby, I blame the Dr. I think he used the spagetti tongs to yank me out, and it took months for my soft melon to pop back into shape

Rob said...

I don't know which was funnier, your feeling like Miss Damn Daisy, your balls, or fielding 30 to 11 calls. Thank you so much.

Your description of your orphan babies, however, might be enough to land you a position at Jenny Craig. Kinda put me off my lunch.

Thank you for the smile.

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