Monday, August 9, 2010

No way to start a week

Yes, that is a toilet. My toilet in the middle bathroom. The one I use in the middle of the nite. I stumbled in there half asleep around 2:30 this morning, and thought the cleaning lady needed a talking to about not doing a good job cleaning the toilet. So I lifted the seat. There was a FROG in the toilet. Turns out she cleans fine, but there was a frog in it. That is weird even for me.

He scared me to death, so I went to get Barry out of the bed--no way he would believe this if he did not see it. I dragged him out of bed to the middle bathroom, and what did he say?

"sure enough. That is a frog". And he went back to bed.

I went after him of course, and asked him to get the frog out of the toilet. He refused. He told me to shut the lid and he would get it in the morning, and to use one of these many other bathrooms. I swear, I even forget about the other ones, as I think of them as his bathrooms. I loaded up the toilet paper, just in case there was not any in these bathrooms I never visit, and wandered around looking for another one. I shut the lid on the way out.

When Barry left for work this morning about 6 am, I reminded him to get rid of the frog. He said he could not find him.

WHAT? Already I am worried frogs are coming out of the septic tank up into my toilet and now he is telling me he cannot FIND IT? Is this some sort of superhero, freak frog? WTF? I am not scared of a frog, for Pete's sake, but one in the can, then disappearing is a whole other deal.
I slept some more, as well as a person with a magic friggin frog can sleep, and when it was time to get up, I wandered back into my regular bathroom. And there he was. Just chilling on the frame of a picture hanging above the toilet. By the way, my bathroom is not pink. Not even close--more terra cotta. I tell you this just in case you think my biggest problem is not a frog in the bowl, but a six year old decorating my bathrooms. The flash made it look crazy.

I somehow did not think it was right to dislodge this industrious fellow, so I went to work, and called Barry on the way to tell him the frog was not missing, but he was quite possibly not the best husband in the world for leaving this transient amphibian up in my house with no supervision. He did not care.

When I got home after work, about 6:30 tonight--he was STILL there! It did not look like he had moved a bit at all. I got him off of there to take outside, as the last thing I need after finding a frog in my toilet bowl is a frog using my toilet bowl, and he was very cold. Poor little dude.

He is now re-homed in the back yard.

I hope he has a better week than he started me off on. I cannot get the idea that things might come up in the septic tank out of my mind, and my work did not help by telling me snakes and rats can do that. By God, they better not, or I may never poop again


City girl turned Country Girl said...

BAHAHA I swear this stuff ONLY happens to you!! I loved this post! Thanks for making me laugh!! Hope you hear no *ribbets* in your sleep *giggles*!!!

Anonymous said...

Laughing all the way to the next computer button to click---probably hit the wrong one while jiggling with laughter-------

Did you notice my butterflies on facebook? They are not as 'funny' as froggie----but pretty instead.

enjoy enjoy Carol

Stephanie Snowe said...

OMG. I would die. DIE!

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Ha ha! In the toilet, what a shocker! He sure gets around too.

Jodi said...

Well that's a switch. Usually it is we that have to worry about the frog peeing us. Not the frog having to worry about people peeing on it. LOL

Lori E said...

Oh can you just feel the frog jumping up onto your butt in the dark. I think I would die and I am not afraid of frogs.
If it were a snake I would have to move to a new house.

Venom said...

Are. You. Serious?
Snakes & rats? How the hell would they get INTO the septic tank to crawl up OUT of it into the house? Aren't there screens on these things? OMG - one more thing I have to fret over on those middle of the night stops... yargh.

Haven't seen you over at VSL lately Paige; I just put up part 3 of a story I was sure you'd comment on. I miss you!

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