No way to start a week

Yes, that is a toilet. My toilet in the middle bathroom. The one I use in the middle of the nite. I stumbled in there half asleep around 2:30 this morning, and thought the cleaning lady needed a talking to about not doing a good job cleaning the toilet. So I lifted the seat. There was a FROG in the toilet. Turns out she cleans fine, but there was a frog in it. That is weird even for me.

He scared me to death, so I went to get Barry out of the bed--no way he would believe this if he did not see it. I dragged him out of bed to the middle bathroom, and what did he say?

"sure enough. That is a frog". And he went back to bed.

I went after him of course, and asked him to get the frog out of the toilet. He refused. He told me to shut the lid and he would get it in the morning, and to use one of these many other bathrooms. I swear, I even forget about the other ones, as I think of them as his bathrooms. I loaded up the toilet paper, just in case there was not any in these bathrooms I never visit, and wandered around looking for another one. I shut the lid on the way out.

When Barry left for work this morning about 6 am, I reminded him to get rid of the frog. He said he could not find him.

WHAT? Already I am worried frogs are coming out of the septic tank up into my toilet and now he is telling me he cannot FIND IT? Is this some sort of superhero, freak frog? WTF? I am not scared of a frog, for Pete's sake, but one in the can, then disappearing is a whole other deal.
I slept some more, as well as a person with a magic friggin frog can sleep, and when it was time to get up, I wandered back into my regular bathroom. And there he was. Just chilling on the frame of a picture hanging above the toilet. By the way, my bathroom is not pink. Not even close--more terra cotta. I tell you this just in case you think my biggest problem is not a frog in the bowl, but a six year old decorating my bathrooms. The flash made it look crazy.

I somehow did not think it was right to dislodge this industrious fellow, so I went to work, and called Barry on the way to tell him the frog was not missing, but he was quite possibly not the best husband in the world for leaving this transient amphibian up in my house with no supervision. He did not care.

When I got home after work, about 6:30 tonight--he was STILL there! It did not look like he had moved a bit at all. I got him off of there to take outside, as the last thing I need after finding a frog in my toilet bowl is a frog using my toilet bowl, and he was very cold. Poor little dude.

He is now re-homed in the back yard.

I hope he has a better week than he started me off on. I cannot get the idea that things might come up in the septic tank out of my mind, and my work did not help by telling me snakes and rats can do that. By God, they better not, or I may never poop again