Friday, August 8, 2008

It is getting hard


I am working on a big decision that is tearing me apart. It has to do with old horses and the great big beyond and things I am not in the mood to talk about, but it is forever in my mind and I am working my way up to talking about. Consider that a warning at which I might need you people for real.

I am a believer in signs --from God, from Karma, from the big eye in the sky, I do not know. I think it is God and that if we just listen, we will hear him and know the answer. So I am asking every day and yet I feel like the answer changes hourly. It is a heart breaker. I am one that cannot act until I KNOW.

In any event, in my search for a change, I offered Grandpa the last thing I know that gets him hyped up--if this did not get something different than I was seeing, I would know it was a sign.

I gave him a baby (Reno and his really laid back mama Snap)

Then I gave him another one (Aries and her living in a different world son Uno)

And tonight I gave him a third (Shiloh, who can get a reaction out of anyone) , and locked him in his pasture away from them so he could eat. He ate--more heartily than he has lately actually--but mostly he mooned over the gate looking at them


I gave him about 90 minutes and had to get on with my life, so I opened his gate. The mamas and babies were so fascinated with the grass they paid him no attention, but man oh man, was Gramps ready! He wanted more than anything to get involved with the babies, but he also understands mamas, and knows he has to be invited..so he just stood there flicking his ears at me, as if he was asking "now? now? come on lady, now?". He is waiting and biding his time, and if I know Gramps, he will be babysitting for them in no time at all.

I sure hope so, as it will be the sign if he is not showing his big love for the babies and then I will be in a hell of a spot making the big decision no horse owner wants to make, and since I am facing it on three horses, I am really struggling.

And that is all I have to say about that. For now

Cuz it is the Olympics, and I need to do that while I can. I do not really like any of the things I face at the farm in the near future...

4 comments:

Holly said...

After the Olympics, we will talk.

Anonymous said...

My heart is with you.
Kristi

hooves said...

Just bring him over to my house. Since I have buried three old ones since March I have room in the geriatric ward. hooves

Lazy A Ranch said...

Here for you when ever you need to talk or cry.

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