I have a new anti-anxiety trick--designed to help squelch the ridiculous anxiety I can get over stupid things--like the laundry. I am supposed to do whatever thing I procrastinate about for 15 minutes, so that it is not overwhelming and does not get out of hand.
Monday, May 30, 2011
My counselor had me order a book that has all kinds of anti-anxiety tricks in it--a lot of behavior modification stuff. I actually ordered it the day she told me to, but it is not here yet. I hope it comes tomorrow. Evidently, I waste a lot of energy being so anxious. I guess that does not surprise me, but it was pretty eye opening for her to be able to pick out the things I do (like make lists obsessively, do everything either all the way or not at all, etc) that are classic responses to anxiety. Huh. Guess that is what she gets the big bucks for huh? Smart lady.
I guess this is as good a time as any to stop that shit, and learn how to have different responses to situations than I have had prior to this. It is like I sabotage myself by letting things get out of control, and there is no good reason for it.
In any event, the 15 minute trick is something I am going to start applying right away. I am going to start it on the laundry, which is not out of control yet but the baskets are full. I swear I am going to get out of this damn chair and put it up for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes I am allowed to quit if I want to. But for that 15 minutes, I cannot do anything else, like answer the phone, go to the bathroom--nothing.
And yes I realize that since I am spending all the time typing this, I am not actually starting the 15 minutes. Yep. I know that. Doing it anyway.
My other projects for this week are to get the pool started--I did get the filter set up with mom's help tonight. I mowed the yard at the farm tonite, and need to haul the mower here to do this one. It looked so nice when it was all freshly mown, and the landscaping looks so good. My flowers are even in good shape still! I have not killed them yet. I have to clean my car out--AGAIN. Supposedly there is a $600 check in there that came in the mail--I don't think it has come, but if it has, it is in that car somehwere. I have to re-paint the bathroom. I have to figure out what is up with my camera--it went berserk this weekend and if it is on the skids, I have to get a new one before vacation, which is in 13 days. I sure hope its not kaput. I have to clean out the horse trailer--which I managed to drive myself to camping this weekend and did okay. My neighbor at the farm is going to park it for me so I do not knock the barn down trying to do it--its just too damn big to manuever it myself. Ideally, I would get cracking on cleaning the garage, but since it is going to be in the high 90s this week, I suspect I will not be doing any such thing, anytime soon. I need to update my website with baby pics of the foals--which I guess means I need to take some of those huh? I should run some ads too to try to sell some of the ones that I still want to sell. Hope the camera is not crapped out, or that will have to wait.
See there I go again--procrastinating. Damn it. In four minutes, I am starting the timer.
Posted by Paige at 9:39 PM