Eyeballs and varied wonkiness

My mom keeps telling me she is having eye surgery.

This is funny for two reasons. First, Dad is forever having eye surgeries due to his diabetes and I hear the last one has made his eye go all wonky pointing at random things. I cannot abide a rebel eyeball so I am afraid to see it. He did not have much vision in that eye anyway, but it was also hurting, so the surgery fixed that hurting part at least. I hope he does not notice that I do not want to look at that any more than I want to see him without his teeth. It is not like he can see me being appalled by this. So that is funny thing number one--thinking of them as a matched set of jacked up eye people, like some defective salt and pepper shakers

The second thing that is funny about this is that mom is NOT having eye surgery. She is having a friggin eye lift, or eyebrow lift, or both or something of the sort. So not the same as eye surgery. I don't know if she is being a drama queen by trying to make it seem like it is a real medical issue or whether she is losing her mind, and thinks it is kind of the same. Surely not.

There is a pathetic part of this. I too have weird eyelids. I say all the time that if I could get a quick lipo of the lids/lift of the brows, I would damn sure do it. And here comes my own mother and GETS IT. I wonder if we could get a a BOGO on this deal