Oddities and endities

The strangest things happen around me.

Yesterday I had the weird message from Tranae about how she went to the dog groomer and paid them $30 to groom her dog (who is very cute and soft and one of those weird terriers that do not make her kids asthma act up). But the dog groomer told her that her dog was fat. Tranae was fit to be tied. She advised against paying this sort of money to be told you are fat, as it was not a good experience.

Clearly she is not thinking straight. Every doc I have gone to in the last 15 years has told me I am fat, and most of them cost way more than $30.


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Also evidently my grandmother is started to be impacted by being 90. She hung up the phone on mom this week. She has never done such a thing. Mom is appalled, but mostly she is sad and worried about her. This makes me think of my old college roommate's grandma who got the Alzheimers, and had caregivers in her home. One of them was a good friend of hers, and grandma wacked her on the head with a skillet. Somehow it is not so funny when it gets this close to home.

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Tequila has found an abiding love for Barry. Ever since we got home tonight, she has followed him around the house looking at him. Well as much as she can look at anyone with one working eyeball. She is definitely feeling better lately though--back to eating dry food without being bribed, and is gaining a little weight. That is a nice turn-around and much appreciated around here.

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The pig has again demonstrated how he is the smartest one in the family. I think I already told about his comforter that we gave him, and how he has been living INSIDE a mattress in the garage. He is a little bit like a homeless making do, which is ridiculous when you remember he is a damn pig, and has a perfectly lovely pigloo in his very own yard. Anyway, he has upped his game a little bit--he has pulled the comforter partly into the mattress, so just part of it is sticking out. That pig is smart. It never fails to crack me up to open the laundry room door to get something out of the freezer in the garage, and see that whole mechanism gets to rocking and rolling over there--then SURPRISE, here comes a happy pig. Cracks me right up. Slater on the other hand, looks confused every single day about where he is and whether or not he can sleep somewhere. Kind of sad really.

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I am on a roll at work, but I have a string of ridiculous cases. In one, it appears that an illegal alien called the police on himself. Guess where he is now? In another one, my client beat someone to death with a Weber grill and a garden hose. I do not even know how that works. Another one shot someone in the bed and claimed self-defense. These boys keep my days interesting for sure.

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I had a Paige-aster this weekend, and I cannot believe that I forgot to tell it. I needed to see how much horse feed was in the gravity wagon to determine if I needed to order more. There is a ladder on the side of the wagon, but my legs are so short that I cannot just get on it and climb up. I had to get a chair and stand on that, grab the top of the wagon and try to get on the ladder that way. All of this seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do--the top of the wagon is only about 8 feet high, so how bad could it be? I must have forgotten who I am, because none of it worked right. One second I was grabbing the top of the wagon and the next thing I knew, the chair had pitched over and I was swinging from the wagon--til I crashed, that is. I landed flat on my back in the dirt in the barn. I must have sounded like a wounded bear, the oomph that hollered out of me. And in typical Paige fashion, I assumed that I hurt the next day from fighting with that filly to get her leg wrapped, totally forgetting my graceful flight through the air. What an idiot. I should be reality TV, I swear. Except they would have to bleep out every other word unless they put me on Showtime.


That is all I have got to say. I thought up a bunch of stuff earlier today, but as is usually the case with me, I forgot it all already. I took some pics of the mares I have on foalwatch tonight and would post their funny conditions, but I left the camera in the barn. I just cannot get from point A to Point B without botching something up.