What the horse world does not need

I find evidence of this everywhere, and today's lesson comes from my Tuesday lunch date with mom--which was at Denny's.

We covered many issues like whether she is going blind, what crack a la Papaw will get made on the subject of the party, how to handle the attendance of certain people and who will be first to mention how fat I have gotten.

Then we got on the subject of Madison and her big decision about whether to play on the basketball team or work at the farm. At this point, the woman behind us interrupted us. Thing #1 wrong: No manners. Eavesdropping is tacky enough, but interrupting people in another booth is even worse.

She wanted to know what I was paying for horse feed, since she is "gonna start her ranch back up" in the fall. I calculated right quick and told her about $28 per 100 pounds, but since I buy in bulk, it is Five forty a ton. She said "Five dollars and forty cents?"

Thing 2: REALLY? In what world has feed ever been that cheap? No wonder you think you need to start your ranch "back up" with that one trail gelding you have that you are talking up like he is a superstar. She seemed shocked that I said "no, five hundred and forty".

I knew where this was headed, so I got up to pay and left my mother there to deal with them. I was no clear enough that we needed to get on so I learned several more things about her. One is that she wants to breed Morgan horses. Mom told her we have Quarter Horses. She and her friend both said they were okay. Well thanks. They also said they were good to do rodeos with if you like that sort of thing. Man, they are up on their breed knowledge arent they? I told them that was not the kind of QHs we had, but they were correct, they could do that too.

Then I got to learn about the FURRIER she is going to use, who comes to you out on the trail with his horse drawn wagon and there he plies his goods. Why do people who have FURRIERS always find me in public? It is hard to keep a straight face. That is almost as bad as the woman I appraised for who kept referring to sending her horse to the fertility instead of the futurity. Thing 3: If you do not know what a professional is called, it is best to stay out of the arena where you will need one.

Thing 4: She showed us a scar on her arm that she got when she got pitched off a two year old paint stud she bought who was completely untouched, but lunged well on his first day, then pitched her off on day 2. Ya don't say? surely you jest. If you think this is the way to do things, the only ranch you need to get going again is one full of Breyer horses.

Thing 5: I got to hear all about someone they know who has John Hancock-bred paint horses who are QHs. I did not want to get any further into that discussion, as I could see this would be an all day deal, so pretty much, I ran for my life.

This is NOT what we need in the horse business. If you do not have the basics down, you have no business trying to run a business--let alone a breeding operation like she wants to (with her gelding--although she once had a "female" horse. Not a mare, a FEMALE).

Guess she will go broke like the rest of us