Very tacky funny

but it is worth posting--my nice friend Linda sent it to me---if people only knew her for real!

Subject: Kids write about the sea



1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.   (Kelly, age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.  (James, age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all round you, you are incontinent.    (Wayne, age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson.  She's not my friend no more.     (Kylie, age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age
8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
Millie, age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean.  Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to
make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating
beans.
(William, age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?  Like, really?  (Helen, age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming
and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just
got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.      (Amy, age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves into chargers.  (Christopher, age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small.   (Kevin, age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.      (Becky, age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her
fat ass.       (Jule, age 7)
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