Overheard funny, and the absurd

At lunch, Rita looked at her watch and said "Oh, I thought time stood still there for a minute." She is having such a hard day that she did not even realize what a ridiculous thing that was to say.

On the way into the restaurant, we got a newspaper out of the machine to see what stupid things the paper has seen fit to print, and she got her shirt caught in the door to the paper machine. Fortunately, it was a denim shirt she was wearing as a jacket, but all the same, stuck in a machine is no place for it. So we put in 50 more cents and it would still not let go--the fabric had jammed it up.

We gave up and left it there and went into the restaurant where the owner was waiting for us and laughing her fool head off. They sat us down, and the owner went across the street to the newspaper offices and made someone come over there and fetch it out of the machine. When she gave it back to Rita, she told her "here you go, but it has birdshit on it." I guess that is one of the benefits of living in a small town--not the birdshit part, but that the restaurant owner hopped right to it to address the situation (and she is a recently transplated Yankee!)

Some days it does not pay to get out of bed, and I think that is where I am headed, as the multiple Benedryl are making me ignorant