I love me some sports--and athletes too

but sometimes, they embarrass even me! My mom sent me this today and it is funny as hell....

Things Jocks have Said in Public

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." (just in case you did not catch that one on your own)

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." Think he will know when it happens?

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,Matt Millen of he Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." Well, he did kind of open the door to that one

4. Torri Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." Huh.

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Point taken.

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful!) Think he better go back for some remedial logic classes.

7 Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." Wonder if they did it?

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ." He's got us there, doesn't he?

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." I wonder how often this needs to happen---and some people say hockey is not a brutal sport

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." Good thing he is not working with Norman Einstein, or he might catch on to that business.

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January) Guess we can assume he is not the dad then.

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, about a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'" HAHAHAHAHA! I love the Jazz!

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." And we wonder why so many athletes are criminals now--I guess thebetter question is how come more of them are not

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye." Can't argue with that, I guess, but I guess it is good for him he has somewhere else to sleep other than home.