Malfunction Junction

Bluestem Cowgirl--Farewell

2012-01-26T22:32:00.002-06:00

Today was a bad day. One of my favorite mares, Hotrod, was found dead in the pasture. In the rain. And cold.

I do not know why. She was only 11 years old. I have had her since she was barely a yearling.

I know I have surely posted these photos before, since they are from August of this year, but I knew where they were and am afraid I will get choked up if I go looking for the perfect pics of her to post.

RIP, my girl.....your good babies will represent you well, and carry on your legacy

Poor dumb whales

2012-01-26T11:01:00.000-06:00

Conservation staff in New Zealand have put down 33 stranded whales after several attempts to refloat them failed.

The pilot whales shot Thursday were the last of 99 that stranded themselves Monday on Farewell Spit on the South Island. Department of Conservation area manager John Mason says staff and hundreds of volunteers had tried all week to get the whales refloated.

He says they thought they were successful Wednesday when they got the whales into deep water — but were saddened Thursday to find that they had swum back ashore. He says the condition of the whales had significantly deteriorated.

As well as the 33 whales that were shot, 36 had died naturally since Monday and 17 were successfully refloated. Thirteen remain unaccounted for.

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More scenes from Doha

2012-01-22T21:30:00.003-06:00

I am slowly but surely getting through the photos I took on my trip to Doha and Dubai. Today is a selection of photos almost all taken from the Souq Waqif in Doha.

A souq is a market. This particular market is over 100 years old but has recently been renovated some. Unlike the rest of what you see in Doha, it is not all shiny and new, so it has a lot of character. It is chock full of restaurants, art galleries, shisha lounges and shops and stalls selling everything from birds to jewelry to funny colored rabbits to traditional clothing--you name it, you can find it there. Except pecans--you will not find pecans no matter how long four people look and how close it is to Thanksgiving. I am pretty sure they had no idea what the hell we were talking about anyway.

We went several times because it is so much fun, and the character changes from day to night. Its a little disturbing that they have Ben & Jerry's too, but I guess no where is perfect.

I will keep at the photo editing to show you more parts of the trip

Awww....

2012-01-21T16:28:00.000-06:00

....Tender Photos Unearthed from a Turbulent Time
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Mildred and Richard Loving on their front porch, King and Queen County, Virginia. April 1965..When Mildred and Richard Loving married in Washington, D.C. in 1958, they didn't think they were breaking the law. Both were from the small town of Central Point, Virginia. Mildred was of African-American and Native American decent and Richard was white. They did know it was illegal for them to marry in their state-as well as 15 others--which is why they left to tie the knot. Within a month of returning home, police burst into their bedroom in the middle of the night and arrested them under the state's anti-miscegenation law. They were sentenced to a one-year in prison term that could be suspended if they left Virginia.

Banished to Washington, D.C., Mildred Loving, who did not consider herself a political person, wrote about her plight to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy. The American Civil Liberties Union took up the case and brought it all the way to the United States Supreme Court. In 1967, in a landmark Civil Rights ruling, the court struck down America's laws against interracial marriage.

On the 40 th anniversary of the ruling, Loving issued a statement that read, "I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life."

In 1965, Life Magazine sent photographer Grey Villet to photograph the Lovings and their three children. Writing for the New York Times, Villet's widow Barbara recalled that he approached the assignment with the aim of creating a tender family portrait, not an overtly political statement. "He chose as he did in every essay…to seek out the literal heart of the matter: a love story." However, the images were utterly groundbreaking exactly because of the intimate and emotionally transparent way they portrayed a taboo subject.

Filmmaker Nancy Buirski rediscovered Villet's photographs while making a documentary for HBO called The Loving Story. Twenty of the images are on display at the International Center of Photography in New York City from January 20 through May 6, 2012. The Loving Story will debut on February 14.

Updates

2012-01-18T21:32:00.004-06:00

Good news-Julie is doing great! She is at home, recovering from two skull fractures and a broken sacrum. She feels like hell, but she is ok. She cannot smell much, and her ears are clogged up but that is likely temporary. She was very very lucky.

In other news, we had Heath's kids this weekend, and the big moments for me came at Tracy's house where we took the boys for their first horseback ride ever. It was not horribly cold out, but riding in the indoor on a retired cutter is a way better introduction to horseback riding than the misery it would have been riding in the wind at the farm. They really seemed to enjoy themselves, which of course gets me so excited for the spring and summer and fall riding opportunities.

Gabe is an animal lover, and is so young, it came easily to him to just roll with it and get his seat. I so wish we could all keep that comfort level you have when you are that young....Ethan relaxed noticeably, the more he rode. I think he may have caught the bug too--I sure hope so! Heath had not ridden in 20 years, so he took a few spins around the arena-- they are at least giving me something to work with here.

All that fresh air and activity can wear some folks out---and Gabe found a cuddle buddy in Tazer---

Prayers needed

2012-01-11T12:48:00.003-06:00

My friend Julie--she of the bridesmaid frocks from last weekend--has been in a horse accident, and is in ICU with a skull fracture. I do not know any more than that yet, as she cannot talk and tell us what happened yet, but I am headed to St Louis to be with her family and figure out what is going on.

Pray for her.

Speaking of change

2012-01-08T18:59:00.000-06:00

My life certainly has changed over the last few months. Many of you already know this, but it does seem funny that I have not mentioned it on here. So here goes.

My house is not so empty any more--after all the craziness of the last year, re-joining the dating pool (and boy howdy, that ain't for the faint of heart)--I have met an amazing man that I have completely fallen for. He is living here now and I do not know if I have ever been happier in my whole life.

It is not just Heath, but his two sons as well. They are 13 and 7 and somehow, we have all made the transition to living together really easily. It seems like they have always been here, have always been a part of my world and when they are not here, it seems empty. We had a lot of time together over the holidays, as Heath was on vacation for almost two weeks, and it was so much fun.

I sure did not ever anticipate my life taking this particular turn--and that is so foreign to me, as almost everything else in my life has always been meticulously planned and executed--but if this is what happens when you quit doing things the way you are expected to do them and just let things happen--that is going to be my new policy.

Just thought I would share the new developments in my world

Bridesmaid Day

2012-01-07T22:46:00.004-06:00

Today was bridesmaids activity day for Julie's wedding in March. I met Julie and Ash at a bridal shop somewhere in the middle of nowhere and Ash tried on some dresses until we settled on one. Julie said we did not have to wear the same dress, but the dress we picked was fine with me, so we are both wearing the dress above. The wedding color is charcoal gray, and the flowers are pink and a reddish black rose. It should be really pretty---but remind me not to stand too close to Ashlyn or I will look like I need to be harpooned.

It is amazing to me how much the world can change. When I first met Julie, in 1994, she was my neighbor in Carbondale. She was married to a complete jackass. I was there when Ashlyn was born and now she is 15--and Julie is finally getting married again--this time to a really wonderful guy. Its so good to see her finally happy, and fun to be a part of it.

Almost everything is done as far as wedding preparations, but we still plotted the details for a few hours after getting the dresses ordered. We went to a hookah lounge for dinner and some lemon-mint shisha, and laughed our fool heads off. There were a few other stops in our day, because we never do anything the normal way--we played with goats, for one thing.

All in all a fun day--

Rex update

2012-01-02T20:40:00.002-06:00

Rex is not starving any more is he? He is finally healthy enough to be gelded and is awaiting that appointment now. He is still pretty stand-offish, but learning to be better all the time. He has a farrier appointment in the morning and that may well present some funny photo opportunities---it may well be his very first trim ever in his life. He has really good feet though which is surprising for one so under-fed when he got here. Stay tuned for any funnies he provides us tomorrow morning.

Why cant I get ANYONE to steal my crappy lawn mower?

2011-12-29T07:07:00.000-06:00

....Cranky croc steals Aussie zoo worker's lawn mower
By KRISTEN GELINEAU

SYDNEY (AP) — A giant saltwater crocodile named Elvis with an apparent affinity for household machinery charged at an Australian reptile park worker Wednesday before stealing his lawn mower . Tim Faulkner , operations manager at the Australian Reptile Park, north of Sydney, was one of three workers tending to the lawn in Elvis' enclosure when he heard reptile keeper Billy Collett yelp. Faulkner looked up to see the 16-foot (5-meter), 1,100-pound (500-kilogram) crocodile lunging out of its lagoon at Collett, who warded the creature off with his mower. "Before we knew it, the croc had the mower above his head," Faulkner said. "He got his jaws around the top of the mower and picked it up and took it underwater with him." The workers quickly left the enclosure. Elvis, meanwhile, showed no signs of relinquishing his new toy and guarded it closely all morning. Eventually, Faulkner realized he had no other choice but to go back for the mower. Collett lured Elvis to the opposite end of the lagoon with a heaping helping of kangaroo meat while Faulkner plunged, fully clothed, into the water. Before grabbing the mower, however, he had to search the bottom of the lagoon for two 3-inch (7-centimeter) teeth Elvis lost during the encounter. He quickly found them and escaped from the pool, unharmed and with mower in tow. Though many may question the wisdom of going after a couple of teeth with a massive crocodile lurking just feet away, Faulkner said finding them was critical. "They clog up the filter systems," he said. And, he said, "They're a nice souvenir." Elvis has a history of crankiness and has lunged at staff before, though this is the first time he has stolen something from one of the workers. The croc was initially captured in the northern Australian city of Darwin, where he had been attacking fishing boats. He was then moved to a crocodile farm, where he proceeded to kill his two crocodile girlfriends. In 2008, he was moved to the reptile park, where he has enjoyed solitary confinement in his own enclosure. "When they are the dominant croc, they're just full of testosterone," Faulkner said. "He's got his beautiful own yard, he wants to be a solitary creature. He's happy." Despite having to give up the lawn mower, Elvis was clearly pleased with himself, Faulkner said. "He's beaten us today ... he's kingpin," Faulkner said. "He's going to be walking around with his chest puffed out all day." As for the staff at the reptile park? "I can't lie, the bosses are not going to be happy about the cost of a new lawn mower," Faulkner said with a laugh. "(But) we love it. No one's injured ... and when you get scared and it all turns out to be good, it's actually quite enjoyable."

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Tarzan Chimp dies

2011-12-28T11:04:00.000-06:00

....Cheetah, a chimpanzee said to have performed in the "Tarzan" films of the 1930s, has died at the age of 80, according to the Florida sanctuary where he lived.

"It is with great sadness that the community has lost a dear friend and family member on December 24, 2011," the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Florida announced on its website.

Cheetah was said to have performed in "Tarzan the Ape Man" (1932) and "Tarzan and His Mate" (1934), classic films about a man reared in the jungle starring Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan.

Similar claims were made about another very old chimpanzee, named Cheeta, which lives in California. But a writer researching that chimp in 2008 found considerable evidence it was too young to have appeared in the films, and its owners have accepted the findings on their website, cheetathechimp.org.

The average life span of a wild chimpanzee is around 45 years.

Several chimpanzees were used in the filming of the "Tarzan" movies and subsequent films, during a period when the primates were widely used in Hollywood and often mistreated.

The Florida chimpanzee -- which reportedly arrived at the sanctuary in 1960 -- loved finger-painting and watching football, and was soothed by Christian music, the sanctuary's outreach director Debbie Cobb told the Tampa Tribune.

"He could tell if I was having a good day or a bad day. He was always trying to get me to laugh if he thought I was having a bad day. He was very in tune to human feelings," Cobb was quoted as saying.

Ron Priest, a sanctuary volunteer, told the Tribune that Cheetah stood out because he could walk upright with a straight back like a human, and was distinguished by other talents.

"When he didn't like somebody or something that was going on, he would pick up some poop and throw it at them. He could get you at 30 feet with bars in between," Priest said.

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RIP Slater 2002-2011

2011-12-21T22:22:00.002-06:00

It has taken me several weeks to do this because I refused to think about it.
But that does not change that it happened.

Slater Strawn has gone on to the big couch in the sky. We did it on a Saturday so Barry could be with him too. Slate had his last ice cream that morning, and had to be helped to the car, but he was ready to go. The poor guy lasted 9.5 years, which is a really long time for a Dane, but nowhere near long enough. Because I had computer crashes, these pics were my favorites from FB, so that is what you get.

I miss him so much, and I know there will never be another baby Alligator like him. I wish I knew how many thousands of miles of road trips we took together, or how many people who were completely amazed at what a gentle giant he was--he made friends everywhere we went. One of his favorite games was meeting hotel clerks, and pushing elevator buttons then sitting in the corner of the elevator acting like a person. He was more like a person than a dog and sure was nicer than most people---it is definitely a different house without him in it.

RIP Slater--you are so missed

Bitchmas has been suspended

2011-12-19T03:07:00.002-06:00

In the oddest turn of events, the world has turned upside down. One of the most relevant (due to timing) and significant effects is that I have called off the Annual Bitchmas, where everyone looks at me crooked wondering when I might blow up or wig out.

That is just not happening this year. I am so happy, I swear I do not recognize myself.

I hope the rest of you have half the joy in your hearts I have right now--

Merry ex-Bitchmas!

Dunnabeck 2011

2011-12-05T23:16:00.007-06:00

This year, I only spent a couple of hours shooting the cross-country event at Dunnabeck. And I have barely gone through the shots to see what I got, but this is what I have so far. Now that I have my internet connection fixed up, I will get back on the stick editing and posting pics from Qatar and Dubai, but until then....here are some hosses

On my way home

2011-11-26T03:19:00.003-06:00

From the best trip ever...I am waiting to board the third flight of four to get home, in London. I have not been in this airport in well over 20 years which is not only sad, but strange.

Usually, I am chomping at the bit to get home from a long trip, to see what things have gone wrong and what has to be done to get back on track--but this time it is hard to see the trip end. I have had so much fun, it sucks to leave. On the other hand, I have some great things waiting for me when I get home----so its not all bad. And that is all I have to say about that for the moment.

I have thousands of pics to work on but I will share a couple I got yesterday at the Souq when we were running errands--I absolutely love the architecture here. It is hard to find anything old because Doha has exploded and the construction is non-stop but this market is over 100 years old. I love it.

A funny scene from Doha, Qatar

2011-11-23T12:13:00.006-06:00

I have so much to catch up from this week, but I want to include all the pics and that is going to take some editing. However, today I got another one of those funny shots that just crack me up, and could not wait to share it.

This photo was taken at the Four Seasons Doha where Mandy, Gabi and I had lunch on the beach. You can imagine how ritzy this place is--I have fun just watching the cars pull up at the valet station! Anyway, this man in traditional dress sat near us. And drank beer. Tell me that is not a conflict in practice--he is conservative enough to dress traditionally, but clearly disregards an important feature of the Muslim faith.

I have had so much fun catching these idiosyncracies during this trip. I guess it just highlights how similar all people are all over the world---picking and choosing which parts of our faith we choose to follow.

Dubai-land of excess and decadence

2011-11-18T00:45:00.003-06:00

We landed in Dubai yesterday early evening and are having an amazing time. I have not had time to download photos yet because as soon as we got back from the Dubai Fountain (incredible video to come) and the world's biggest mall full of fancy stores, an ice rink, aquarium, ski slope and other crazy things which is right across the street from us, I passed slap out even before Mandy was done working.

I will get to it.

It may not be today though as we are going to champagne brunch here Knowing us, I will be so busy getting my money's worth of champagne and food that I will not be able to function until much later. After that, we will lay at the pool and rest off all those calories.

Tonight is the big night out in Dubai, as their weekends are Friday and Saturday instead of Saturday and Sunday

Acting Arabic

2011-11-16T15:42:00.015-06:00

OK, these men were not acting Arabic. They were full on Arabic and as you can tell, not pleased with Paige at all. And that is fair since my attempts to be sly to get their photo were pretty transparent.

But they were so exactly what this country is like, I had to do it.

These, on the other hand, are very happy Muslims

We went to Tejine, a Moroccan restaurant in the Souq Waqif. The thing to do here after your meal is to smoke shisha, which is flavored tobacco served in a water pipe. Its wild to see everyone doing it.

This is the guy who gets it started for you and tests to make sure it works. If you do it right, you get a little lightheaded and dizzy for a minute or two--like a very short buzz. When the coals burn down, the ashes make it taste bad so he has to empty the ashes, add coal and re-test. I suspect this is a fun job to have. I do not know how they make it through a shift though.

I never thought I would see the day that my almost-always well-behaved brother in law ever smoking anything but maybe a fancy cigar--but here he is! And of course, it is so misleading---this is perfectly legal. Its just regular tobacco for Pete's sake, but it does look like we are up to no good, doesn't it?

I look particularly ridiculous here--but I think this is when I finally got it right and did not cough, laugh or choke---and maybe from the looks of it, maybe got the little buzz. I appear to be a little shocked, don't I?

And I cannot get this damn picture out of here. No one needs to see this at all, let alone twice. Sorry

Mandy had similar problems at first, but picked it up pretty quick. Now I think she is hooked--I am pretty sure she made plans with Joel and Jill to join them on their weekly excursions. We may have lost her to the pipe---all those years of being a good girl may finally have broken her! And doesn't Ed look so proud of wifey? ha!

This is Jill, Mandy's trainer. She is an old pro at this shisha thing--she is like the dragon lady with the smoke. It was so funny to watch because she is such a girl, and has the cutest Mississippi accent....it just does not match with the pipe.

This is Joel, Jill's husband. You would think from this pic that he is the good one. Really he is the master puffer who knew what kind to order and when to call the shisha man to have the pipe corrected and was the one to teach the rest of us how to do it. So do not let him fool you with that innocent look.

This is Mandy, me and Lina. Lina is actually a good girl and did not smoke any. She is from Australia, and spends all of her time fighting with people who accuse her of being Phillipino....which she is not, but no one believes her. Her reenactments of the confrontations are hysterical.

This is what the pipes at Tejine look like. Because the bottom is red, you cannot see the water where the bubbles happen...it feels so weird.

Here are some far prettier ones that were for sale in the

souq. Arent they beautiful?

This was just interesting to me. These are wheelbarrows that old men use to drive your souq purchases to your car.

Living big at the Bay Club

2011-11-16T05:34:00.003-06:00

On the way to the Hotel Intercontinental for some time at the pool bar, we passed some things that reminded me just how different it is here. Above is typical Arabic architecture

This is typical dress for many men. This is called a thobe. The weird thing is they are always bright white--never a speck of dirt on them. How do they DO that? I cannot even get out of the house in white without ruining a white shirt and they go all day looking fresh as a daisy

This is part of the hotel we went to for some relaxation. See more of it here

The pool area

The beach

A view of the Pearl, a new development being built now.

Read about it at The Pearl Qatar It sounds like an amazing place.

This is what a hillbilly looks like when you take her out of her natural environment and plop her down in a fancy one. You can take the girl out of the sticks, but not the sticks out of the girl. Wait a minute, that does not sound right at all

We had a great afternoon there. We make friends wherever we go--these two ladies from the UK and Joseph from Dubai. He was an absolute trip and it did not hurt a bit that he bought some of the drinks....when a daquiri is $20, who am I to turn down a sponsor? I may be a hillbilly but I am not stupid! We laughed like crazy, and came home to take naps. We spent the evening with Edward and the kids and crashed early. All in all, an incredible day.

Home base in Doha, Qatar

2011-11-15T12:18:00.003-06:00

This is not Mandy's house--but it might as well be--it is the same house she has, just across the street from her.
First floor living room.
Dining room.
Some of the stairs.
On the second floor is Gabi's bedroom, Crews' bedroom and the master suite. For some reason, I only have photos or Gabi's room--maybe because it is so absurd for a 4 year old. This is one view of it
This is the other side of it. yep--two beds for a 4 year old.
This is the second floor play area for the kids and TV watching area. Note the marble floors which are all through the house

This is the window in my room on the third floor. The only other thing up here is an office, and the maid's room.
Which means we have this whole monster deck to ourselves. This pic in no way shows how big it is. These doors are the general entrance to the deck. My entrance is around the back there, where I also have sliding doors to access ir

This is the back patio--just outside the living room--this is where we had dinner tonight.

None of these photos demonstrate how absurd this is--5 bedrooms, 6 baths, Mandy does not even know how many square feet. Its massive and gorgeous. I have my own thermostat in my bedroom so I have it set on vacation mode--very cold--its awesome. This is one of the many perks of Ed's job--this compound is very secure and the only people that live in here so far are people who work for his company. Its absolutely beautiful and even Mandy was laughing her ass off showing me around last nite--it is so excessive--but they deserve it for as hard as he works. And who would not want to live like this if they could get away with it. It cracks me up that even the 2 year old Crews has his own bathroom, and they have not ever used the bathtub in Gabi's room because there are so many others. My room is huge too and the bathroom is all marble and granite--so fancy. Trying to get used to being called madam by the maid/nanny Amy is really weird--cracks me up--but I could sure get used to it! It is standard to have help living in here, but I can tell it is a little awkward for Mandy and Ed to get used to it--but its perfect for Mandy's work schedule and the kids school stuff- it affords her a lot of work flexibility.

I am on the verge of collapse so i am giving up for the nite--hopefully I get this jet lag kicked over nite and can catch up with stories of the insanity that went on today. One of the funniest parts was a discussion Mandy and I had before we went out today--back in the day, I had a friend who we boated with when I was in law school. We would be at the lake lounging in the middle of the week, and he would say "Wonder what the poor folks are doing today?" and we would crack up because we WERE the poor folk. Over the years, that became a catch phrase that has come up on every trip or big event. When i said it to Mandy today, she deadpanned right back at me "We do not know any poor folk". I almost peed on myself laughing

Now everyone who knows us knows that is a HUGE load of crap--lots of days we are still the poor folk. We both know how lucky we are...and are so grateful for all the opportunities we have had. But never before has it been so clear how far from southern Illinois she is now...but still same ol Mandy she always was. Just living like the queen of the manor now--but her acknowledgment of how excessive these living arrangements are demonstrates that no matter how you dress her up, she will still always be a Mt Vernon girl at heart.

On that note, I better start resting--cuz I sure have to be up tomorrow to work out and get some sun before the pedicure lady makes it here to fancy me up. I am even embarrassing myself looking like this. Yep--I could get used to this.

Stay tuned for the pics from our adventure at the Intercontinental Bay Club today--

Greetings from Manchester UK

2011-11-14T07:05:00.002-06:00

~Which is where I am PAYING money to use a computer. That is the extent of my sickness.

But it had to be done. Last weekend, my beautiful brown Toshiba took a header and passed away. I immediately bought a new one, but it is not completely set up yet---its giving me shit. I got her all charged up to I could blog while I waited for my next flight, and despite the supposeldy free internet in this airport--not so much. Now I am using pretend funny money to play on the internet. I think this is like my weird Mc Donalds craving--I rarely crave McDonalds, but the minute I touch down in a foreign country, I have an uncontrollable urge to eat it. Like there is not a McDs on every corner in the world, for Petes sake--I have even eaten it in Fiji. That is just strange.

So anyway--unless a miracle can be performed when I get home--all my pics etc are gone. Im hoping it can be solved but I ran out of time preparing for this trip.

I arrive in Doha Qatar tonight around midnite their time (4 pm or so our time) to hang out with Mandy and the family. I will be there til Thursday when Mandy and I go for girls weekend in Dubai. On Sunday we go to Abu Dhabi for a couple of days. Then back to Doha to play until the Saturday after Thanksgiving. If I do not get to ride a camel on one of these trips, someone is going to be sorry as shit.

I did not bring the pup because they would not let her come through England for some reason and I could not get my flights changed. Now they will get her on Christmas morning, which is equally cool.

In other news, Rex the gray rescue horse is fattening up. I do have a new pic of him but of course, not on this computer. I will get it up soon though--he is gaining by the day

I am concerned I may have a stroke being without constant phone access.....but it will be good for me. I can use Mandys phone for FB stuff while we are out and about so keep an eye open for photos of our adventures and I will try to post on here as we do fun things.

What else do I know? So many things, but lack of sleep keeps me from knowing what they are....I will get it together one of these days.

I am pretty much sure this post was not ork the $3.35 it cost me to post it. Oh well!

Bad news

2011-11-04T22:13:00.002-05:00

It has taken me a week to post this, because I did not want to.

But since people are asking, I will tell it.

The TWH colt I was rehabbing did not make it. At 10 am last Friday morning he was fine and atg 2 pm, he was gone. I think his organs were too damaged from malnutrition, or he had a hell of a colic that got him fast.

It was heartbreaking but I guess not that surprising.

Rex is doing well though. Eating well and gaining all the time. I had a camera malfunction so Sunday's pictures did not transfer. Hopefully, I have it cured and will be able to update this Sunday

Puppy for Gabi and Crewser

2011-10-25T21:20:00.004-05:00

This is baby Quincy. She is the puppy Mandy and Edward bought for Gabi and Crewser. She is a 13 week old Rhodesian Ridgeback. She is hysterical. I am taking her with me to Qatar in a few weeks, if we can get the airlines to act right.

She thinks she is brave, but really she is a big ol cuddler.

She has finally started playing with Cinder though and it is pretty funny. She is still scared of the big boys though so I only let her play with Cinder. Quincy will pick a tussle with her then run and hide.

She is a trip and the kids are going to love her. She has been a lot of fun to have around too

Week 1 update on the formerly starving horses

2011-10-24T22:34:00.006-05:00

I first was going to say I do not see a lot of difference in ol Rex here--but in the pics, I think I do see some improvement. He certainly is not critical by any stretch. He is tough enough that he was dewormed this weekend and handled it fine--I would lay odds that he had never been dewormed so I will keep him on a tight schedule. What do you think of him after one week? See any difference?

Even Sweet Rowdy is looking better---he is a hell of a long way from not being a starving horse, but he is a sweet baby, and seems to be feeling better. He does have the snotty nose of course, and crawled under the board fence to scrape his back bald on his spine.

Until you see this shot--and see how bad he really looks. I am not sure he made any improvement this week, other than maybe a little more cover on his ribs. Under his tail looks terrible too--he is a thin little monkey. As he fills out, I will still think he looks off because I am not used to what a TWH looks like as he grows up, but I can sure tell when one needs to eat. And eat he is--these boys have two round bales because the first one displeased them in some way, and they are eating Purina senior just for the digestability factor, as well as some alfalfa pellets and loose minerals. I will add soy oil at some point, but not yet.

They have some weird habits--they refuse to leave their food in a dish--they want it on the ground. If I do not put it there, they do. They want to share their food--giving separate servings does no good as they eat the first serving together then move to the next one. I find that odd for starving horses. They also drink an unGodly amount of water. It is slowing down but they were putting down 60-80 gallons a day.

Stay tuned for next week's updates!

Do gooder weekend

2011-10-18T00:12:00.004-05:00

I have been on a roll lately with the charity type things. I thought it would be good for me to get out of my own head and do something for someone else for a change. I am looking for something that will occupy my brain and that is not easy to do for long. Meanwhile some little things popped up for me to do this weekend.

After I got back from my conference Saturday, I went straight to the Fall Family Cookout thing that my friends hosted at the park. I was really just stopping by as moral support but when I saw how many people were there, I got thrown in to help. I helped with the hotdogs and we served over 1200 people--all for free. It was crazy.

Then Sunday morning, I had delivered two starving horses. My friend Lori asked me to help out a rescue she works with who was being flooded with starving horses, and I said I would. She showed up with two colts early Sunday.

This is Rowdy, a yearling Tennessee Walker. He is sweet but in pretty bad shape.Look at his spine And absolutely no meat on his thighs. He could be a long term project to get the weight on him.

This is Rex. He is a bit of a handful. He is supposedly a yearling stock horse, but based on the length of his tail, I bet he is two years old. He does not look that horrible in these pics, and he is certainly no where near as bad as Rowdy, he still needs a lot of work.

He is much worse than he looks in these pics, but I am confident that just a few weeks of good food will have him in great shape. I will take pics once a week to compare the progress. I am starting them on several small feedings of Equine Senior for easy digestion and all the hay they can eat. In a week or two, I will add in some alfalfa pellets to help as well. I dont want to make too many changes at once.

This could be interesting, I have no idea what I have gotten into but if I know anything, it is how to fatten someone up!

Pepto Taz Dies

2011-10-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

Stallion Pepto Taz Dies

Written by Mark Thompson

Pepto Taz & his trainer Randy Cherry

Ten years after his top cutting run, a 226 Derby Open finals finish with Randy Cherry that earned a Championship title and $12,076 at the October, 2001, Sun Coast Futurity in Las Vegas, Nev., 1997 stallion Pepto Taz, a dynamic performer and a $1 million-plus sire, died Monday, Oct. 10, from a reported lung problem.

Pepto Taz (Peptoboonsmal x Sweet Lil Lena x Smart Little Lena), trained and ridden throughout his career to many Open finals by Cherry, Whitt, Texas, was owned until recently by Don and Netha Leser, Canby, Ore. Trent Jorgensen, Provo, Utah, bred and originally owned Pepto Taz. The Lesters bought him prior to his 4-year-old season.

Sold in July to Brazil resident Fabio Anotoni Pozzi, the stallion had traveled to Brazil last Sunday, Oct. 9. He reportedly died the next day. The horse had been vet-checked prior to his mid-summer sale and had no apparent major health problems.

Before winning a Derby Open title at the Sun Coast (now South Point) Futurity in Las Vegas 10 years ago this month, Pepto Taz and Cherry won a Derby Open title at the Sun Coast Winter Championship, also in Las Vegas, in February, 2001, with a 222 to earn $15,505. As a 4-year-old, “Taz” also carried Cherry to Reserve Championships at Bonanza Cutting and Polo Ranch Cutting events in Texas and Oklahoma, plus a sixth-place 4-Year-Old Open finish during the 2001 NCHA Super Stakes finals in Fort Worth.

Also a standout sire, Pepto Taz has produced 120 performance horse money earners so far, primarily cutters but also several solid working cow horses, one reining horse and a barrel horse. They combined to earn more than $1.38 million prior to his death, according to Equi-Stat.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

I had a beautiful colt by Pepto Taz last year, that Gypsy foaled. I had in mind that I would breed her to him again because they were such a nice cross. I guess that won't happen. What a shame.

More from Colorado Springs

2011-10-13T22:00:00.004-05:00

The above four photos are from the Garden of Gods.

These two are of the same tunnel taken in a canyon somewhere. I am not sure which version I like best.

This is at the base of Helen Hunt Falls....a beautiful waterfall that I took a bunch of photos of. I have a lot of these to work on still.

This is the back of the Broadmoor Resort. What a beautiful place.
There are still more pictures to come, along with the stories of what we did on my trip.

Manitou Springs, Colorado

2011-10-13T16:32:00.004-05:00

Last weekend, I went to Colorado Springs to see my friend Bryce. We had an amazing weekend I will post more about but I wanted to put up some pics of one of our adventures.

Monday one of the many things we did was go to the Manitou Cliff Dwellings in Manitou Springs. This place is pretty cool.

The Cliff Dwellings were built 700 years ago by the Anasazi, out of the sandstone cliffs

There was even art on the walls. It is presumed that this piece was a prayer for rain.

This was a window hole and I have no idea what the vines and sticks were about but it made for a very cool picture

You can wander inside all of the rooms. Many were single family rooms but some are two or three stories tall for multiple families. It is amazing how cool it was inside of them, even though it was really warm outside.
This is a door opening and the stones used to close it up. I guess if you had to get out in a hurry, you would be screwed.

It was a pretty cool place--the museum had a lot of amazing artifacts in it, so I got all cultured up. That always makes me feel better for being frivolous and taking time just for me which is what this trip was really about.

Stay tuned for more photos from other adventures and takes of my great weekend with a treasured friend I am so glad to have back in my life.

De-weaning 2011

2011-10-06T21:09:00.002-05:00

It happens every year--one of the babies un-weans herself. Today, it finally happened. This is Cash's filly--the oldest but the most recently weaned baby. I weaned her last Sunday, and today, when I got to the farm to feed dinner, the gate on her stall was off the hinges and she was AWOL.

The other interesting thing about this baby is that she and her mother refused to stay where I put them, so she has been out with the herd from very early on. That also means that she has been raised on just pasture grass. She sure does not look any the worse for wear for it--in fact, I think she looks better than the other two babies.

That is an interesting discovery. Maybe I should change my practice on raising babies on special feed until they are weaned.

Prodigal cat returns

2011-10-04T20:14:00.003-05:00

Charlie the Cat has been missing from this house for so long, I cannot tell you when I last saw him....he has been AWOL about as long as Barry has. In fact, I am sure I have seen Barry more than I have seen Charlie. I heard he was spotted this weekend, but I did not believe it for sure until I saw him myself tonight. He was curled up in a pile slated of tree limbs slated to be burned when I get around to it.

I see he still loves his Peeg. He wallered all over Peeg who paid little attention to him at all.

I cannot tell you how relieved I was to find him. He still will not let me catch him, which is fine because then I would be rubbing my eyes and itching all night.
Same old loud mouth cocky cat--I am so glad he is home!

What I can see from my yard

2011-10-03T07:08:00.005-05:00

Since photos of cutting up trees (which happened), burning brush (which also happened), pool winterizing (which partway happened), fence re-building (which happened, hallelujah hot damn!), and foal weaning (which happened) and donkey on the lam (which unfortunately also happened) and other hard things did not get taken--

I am posting two pics of actual pretty things that I saw from my yard while I was working in it today.

I know I take this same photo all the time, but I swear it looks different every time the sunset changes colors. And I love that tree, and how its silhouette is so striking

And yes I realize these are weed flowers, but it should come as no surprise that it is the only kind of flower I can keep alive.

I am hoping very much to be back on track with everything now that my big push at work is over. This will be a relatively normal week at least until Saturday, so I am hoping to keep on with the projects I am doing here at home, get some new horse pics especially foal pics and keep updating away here. Now let's see if I back that up with some actual action

Happy birthday to most of the world!

2011-10-02T10:54:00.000-05:00

Today, October 2, is the birthday of pretty much everyone--

Edward, the best brother-in-law in the world ever--ignore the fact that he is the only one I have now anyway. He was always the best one I had.

Tranae--who has been one of my best friends since I was 5.

Jolea--college roommate/sorority sister

Debbie-- friend from grade school.

It is also the day I took the LSAT in 1993. And if that does not tell you how messed up my brain is, I can tell you what I wore that day, how I took it in the medical school at U of I and it smelled like formaldehyde, what the weather is like, how AmyB had balloons and a 6 pack waiting on me afterwards and how we had Barn Dance that night.

But ask me where my truck is---I am not sure.

Checklist o Fix its

2011-10-01T22:25:00.002-05:00

Every day the list of things that needs to be done around here gets longer--which makes no sense to me because it seems like more and more things get done around here every day. It's like doing something breeds more things to do.

For example, last weekend, the hideous gold tone light fixture and shiny stainless faucet in the master bath got changed and replaced with brushed nickel. So what happened then? Every time I walk in the bathroom, it pisses me off that the medicine cabinet sticks out like that and there is way too much oak in this house. I think it is a Midwest thing--that and this house was built in the mid-1990s when that was the thing to do but it is making me flat ass insane. Unfortunately, my kitchen is AWESOME and so big it would cost a foul amount of money to remodel it. So I am refusing to think about that and am focusing on the master bath next. The designer is coming out Tuesday to come up with a plan....I hope to keep it reasonable enough so that I can really do it. The floor tile is fine so I suspect just changing the cabinets, countertop and putting up a mirror instead of the medicine cabinet will satisfy me for the time being. And paint--so I might as well have the bedroom painted as well.

See what I mean?

Today both barns at the farm had their roofs fixed. That's something. There was storm damage from fairly recently but now that is fixed. The bull shed had its footing scooped out--man what a difference! That was long overdue. My dining area ceiling got texturized. The contractor weighed in on bathroom ideas.

Tomorrow, we are burning brush, weaning the last foal (yeah I know she is half grown--give me a break!), mowing for probably the last time of the year thank God, cutting down some trees and fixing fence they keep falling on. Winterizing the pool....all the end of summer things that sneak up on me.

So much for relaxing after meeting my deadlines at work

Under the gun and other news.

2011-09-27T19:39:00.003-05:00

I have been working like a dog trying to get all my work done by September 30, the end of my evaluation period at work. It has been exhausting to catch up--something I am not used to at all, because I am usually very far ahead of the game. Not this year for obvious reasons.

So I am worn out. Physical work is one thing, but concentrating for 16 hours a day will kill a girl. Even my TMJ has been acting up from stress--to the point I could hardly open my mouth over the weekend. The swelling got so bad it made my ears ached, which made it hard to think. Anti-inflammatories help but it is still really painful.

I have weaned two babies--have one left to do. Should I ever get home from work when it is not the middle of the nite I will get on that.

Lots of home improvements going on around here. It is nice to do things I have wanted to do for a long time but one thing leads to another. I wanted the gold tone light fixtures, and shiny faucet out of the master bath so replaced it all with nickel to match everything else around here now--but now the medicine cabinet pisses me off. And that bathroom has oak cabinets--and all kinds of oak trim so it will be a project to change it over. I also want to paint the little third bathroom and quit treating it like I do not know it is there, but I have no thoughts on color. The rest of the house is so vibrant but it is tiny so it needs less shock value---and I do not know what to do with it.

The best most exciting thing going on around here is that I am going to Colorado Springs for Columbus Day weekend. An old friend/boyfriend from back in the day lives there and I have only been there one time in my whole life, so why not? I am sure we will have a ball and it has been really fun reconnecting with someone I have not seen in so long. Funny how things change so much and stay the same so much sometimes in the same minute.

I like having things to look forward to so this is a good plan.

After that, I have my big trip to Mandy's in Qatar. We are going to Dubai and Abu Dhabi...that will be a hard trip to top. Knowing me, as soon as I get back, I will start plotting the next one!

RIP Doctors Playmate

2011-09-13T21:05:00.003-05:00

1981-2011

One of my best girls ever, Playmate, was laid to rest this morning. A 30 years old, the only way she could maintain her weight in the heat or extreme weather was on 25-35 pounds of senior feed, beet pulp and alfalfa pellets per day. Which is just fine but the only thing Playmate hated more than not getting to go somewhere was being locked up to eat...and to eat that much took pretty much all day. It made her miserable. I had to decide this summer which she would like more--and she made it clear she wanted to be out on pasture with her friends. After all, who else was going to boss those young whippersnappers if not her?

I bought Playmate in 1999, and she had four more babies for me. She got in foal to Haidas Little Pep more than once but lost it every time but the last time she was bred to him, and slipped her last foal, which was sired by Sly. Most of her babies were ropers so although they do not have AQHA records, I have heard great stories of their earnings over the years. Playmate herself was the most competitive horse I have ever known---she would just shake at the sight of cows--she could hardly control herself wanting to get after them. And man did she have a big engine--even when I was still riding her at 29, she was a handful---I could never put a kid on her and let her loose. She was like a freight train. I cannot count how many first time team penners or sorters I put on her and she took to the pay window. She was just a cool horse.

Here is her produce record which does not even begin to tell the story of all she did.

DOCTORS PLAYMATE'S Offspring

JAZZY BUZZIE 2320218 Deceased Bay Mare 02/01/1985
Sire- LAST COUNSELLOR 1471753

MAGIC PLAYMATE 2469249 Deceased Sorrel Mare 03/01/1986
Sire- LYNX MAGIC 1712880

CLASSY KELLEY DOC 2811036 Sorrel Mare 03/01/1989 Genetic Typed
Sire- SUGS DOC DIDGET 2240505

DOCTORS BROWN SUGAR 2915107 Bay Mare 05/01/1990 Genetic Typed
Sire- SUGS DOC DIDGET 2240505

DOLLY DOC MATE 3053026 Bay Mare 04/14/1991
Sire- POCO DACOMA 2389768

DOCTOR DACOMA 3093075 Bay Stallion 04/14/1992
Sire- POCO DACOMA 2389768

DOCTOR JAZZ LEO 3357400 Sorrel Gelding 05/30/1995
Sire- KING MARAVILA JOHNNY 2102999

JAZZY DRY SOCKS 3604149 Sorrel Mare 04/18/1997 Genetic Typed
Sire- DRY GLO 1795872

SON OF A DRY GLO 3775992 Chestnut Stallion 05/14/1998 Genetic Typed
Sire- DRY GLO 1795872

DOCTOR LA BLEU 3900564 Buckskin Stallion 07/19/1999 Genetic Typed
Sire- SANA LA BLEU 2082833

SON OFA DOCS ROCKET 4015903 Bay Gelding 07/04/2000
Sire- SANA LA BLEU 2082833

PLAYIN N THE SAN 4132356 Bay Mare 06/02/2001 Incentive Fund Foal
Sire- SAN N DOC 1706205

HAIDADOC 4591921 Bay Mare 04/26/2003 Transported Semen; Genetic Typed
Sire- HAIDAS LITTLE PEP 1643650

PINA COLADA PLAYMATE 4627907 Bay Mare 03/31/2004 Transported Semen; Genetic Typed
Sire- RUM SQUALL 2450734
National Cutting Horse Association: $ 3,015.90 Earned thru 11/09/2008

This is her dam's produce record---so Play's siblings. Evidently, the longevity of Play was genetic--look how long some of these horses showed

MISTY WADE 0289386 Deceased Gray Mare 01/01/1963
Sire- HANK WADE 0077203

SPARKLING MISS 0506930 Deceased Bay Mare 01/01/1967
Sire- VEN'S SPARKY 0279418
Show: 10/1978 Open- H- .0 P- 10.0 Amateur- H- .0 P- .0 Youth- H- .0 P- .0
Achievement: 1978 OPEN PERFORMANCE REGISTER OF MERIT

JOHNIE'S MIST 0541757 Deceased Gray Stallion 05/01/1968
Sire- JOHNIE M BAR 0248561

EMBAR'S MIST 0658086 Deceased Bay Mare 01/01/1969
Sire- MR EMBAR 0176224

SHAH MISS 0909487 Deceased Brown Mare 04/01/1972
Sire- SHAH BOY 0247339

MAGNOLIA MISTY 0959048 Deceased Red Roan Stallion 05/01/1973
Sire- MAGNOLIA CROTON 0544704

HONKYTONK JOHN 1141959 Deceased Blue Roan Stallion 03/01/1975
Sire- ROAN ROCKY 0608394

DOC ON CALL 1391003 Deceased Gray Gelding 03/07/1978
Sire- CAL BAR 0454267
Show: 12/1991 Open- H- .0 P- .5 Amateur- H- .0 P- .5 Youth- H- .0 P- .0

THE DOCTORS MAID 1472151 Deceased Sorrel Mare 04/01/1979
Sire- SON OFA DOC 1106780
Show: 11/1992 Open- H- .0 P- .0 Amateur- H- .0 P- .0 Youth- H- .0 P- .0
National Cutting Horse Association: $ 4,864.08 Earned thru 12/31/1990
Achievement: 1990 YOUTH WORLD SHOW CUTTING 9th PLACE

THE FEMALE DOCTOR 1652447 Deceased Gray Mare 04/01/1980
Sire- SON OFA DOC 1106780

DOCTORS PLAYMATE 1781075 Deceased Bay Mare 05/29/1981 Genetic Typed
Sire- SON OFA DOC 1106780

In the end though it did not matter who she was, or what she did--I loved her. She was one of our first important mares and she taught me a lot about horses. She will certainly be missed.....and life in the pasture will not be quite as fun as it was with her in it. She was one of a kind

RIP Play--

The torture of Tazer

2011-09-12T22:22:00.002-05:00

Look what Cinder puts this poor dog through.

And he puts up with it.

Slater the babysitter

2011-09-12T00:00:00.002-05:00

I realize that it does not look like Slater is actually DOING anything other than what he usually does---and that is sleep. That is what I thought at first. He had a little lay down with my friend's daughter when she feel asleep on a pallet in front of the big TV....it was so cute.

However he was not just resting as usual. He was supervising her as she slept. And he took his job very seriously. When it was time to take her to the car to go home, Slate popped up and made it clear he did not want her to leave. He gave this stink eye look and when we went to pick her up--he put his paw on her as if to tell us to leave her right where she was. Just leave her right there thank you very much, he seemed to say. She never even woke up so had no idea of the impression she made on Slate.

Tiger Love gone bad

2011-09-10T12:29:00.002-05:00

This poor bastard has been killed by his younger girlfriend. You can read the story here... well maybe you cannot, it appears I cannot paste the link in here. It is a yahoo story about how this 6 year old male was killed by hus 3 year old lady friend, in an apparent fit of jealousy that he was flirting with another female.

Let this be a lesson to you boys....one woman is more than you can handle. You do not need two or more. Someone will get hurt and it will be your fault.

Also, do not piss off a tiger lady. They do not jack around.

And finally, I think tigers may have the right idea---just rid the world or pooly behaved men, and it will be a better place for all of us.

Fonzie's fall Founder

2011-09-07T19:34:00.003-05:00

Once again, the Fonz has started his fall foundering episode. I caught it way earlier this year than usual so he is not in bad shape at all. I loaded him up and moved him to the farm Monday, and put him in a dry lot. He is not happy at all because he is alone but its for his own good.

Doesn't he look depressed?

Cinder

2011-09-06T21:43:00.002-05:00

She is growing into half a dog isnt she? I look at her everyday so I do not notice it so much, but when someone who has not seen her in a while sees her, her growth is always remarked on.
She is kind of cute. Now if she was not completely psychotic or brain injured.

Labor Day weekend--camera malfunction

2011-09-05T21:32:00.002-05:00

I had another camera malfunction on our trail ride this weekend--I got it to work for enough time to get some great pictures of some of the horses on our ride then then memory card went berserk and could not be read. Typical. That really sucked because I loved some of the artsy fartsy shots I got of some Pasos on our ride--they have great hair. Ashlyn and Pam rode them, and Julie and Eric rode some of those painted walking horses, whatever you call them. It is wild how different horses of a different breed can look and still be the same species. Head brought a new TB that was on only his second trip to the woods and less than 10 rides all together I think--and he was awesome. Linda rode Jane and she was reasonable. Jodi and I rode Twist and Gyro and damn near killed them. It rained the last hour of our ride yesterday, which was unpleasant, but we still had a great time. It is always good to decompress in the woods--the good food and good company just make it better.

So to test out my camera fix, I took some pics of Sly when I got home. He missed his Twister.

Meanwhile, Fonzie is starting his fall foundering episode, so I swapped trailers and took him to the farm to dry lot him. Happens every year, and at least I know all he needs is to be dry lotted for a while.

I am on a marathon to get some real work done--I have been for some time now but it is getting down to crunch time here. Since the weather broke though I hope to be able to do better with photos etc now---so stay tuned, I really will do better about this blog

The littlest Farmer

2011-08-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

Is he the cutest little man you ever saw in overalls in your life?

Radar moves away

2011-08-21T22:50:00.002-05:00

Anyone who has been around here very long knows how much I love this horse. Since the day he was born, he has been very special to me. It is not that he is so pretty, he looks like a girl--its not just his laid back easy attitude--its not how he follows me around like a puppy--its all of that and then some. I just love him.

Today he moved away with a new family. I know it was the right thing to do, because he will be used and have the best of care from them. He will get to do more than just eat, and will have a herd to hang out with, and his new mama has a huge crush on him. I cannot ask for more than that for him.

It still sucks. I took to the bed and cried until my head pounded. I always hate selling horses, but it is rare that it kicks my ass like this. I will miss him so much.

West Memphis 3--ITS ABOUT TIME~!

2011-08-19T01:15:00.000-05:00

8/19/2011 1:03 AM
Deal for West Memphis 3 may allow innocence claim

By JEANNIE NUSS Associated Press

Three men imprisoned for nearly two decades for the brutal murders of three 8-year-old boys in eastern Arkansas could be released from custody as early as Friday if a deal with prosecutors goes as planned, victims' relatives and a person familiar with the case told The Associated Press.

A tentative deal would include a legal maneuver allowing the men to maintain their innocence claim while admitting that prosecutors likely have enough evidence to win a conviction, the person familiar with the case said. That person spoke on the condition of anonymity because of a gag order barring parties in the case from speaking publicly about it.

"It's a highly technical way to put an end to judicial proceedings in the case," the person told the AP.

Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelley and Jason Baldwin were convicted in 1994 of killing Steve Branch, Christopher Byers and Michael Moore a year earlier and leaving their naked bodies in a ditch in West Memphis, Ark. Echols was sentenced to death. Misskelley and Baldwin were ordered to spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Defense attorneys, along with celebrities and legal experts, have long said the men were wrongly convicted. The three men, known to supporters as the West Memphis Three, won new hearings from the Arkansas Supreme Court in November, more than 15 years after they went to prison despite little physical evidence linking them to the crime scene. Their attorneys point to new DNA evidence that they say should help exonerate the three men.

The support for the West Memphis Three reaches some of the victims' relatives who have questioned whether the right people were behind bars.

Byers' adoptive father, John Mark Byers, said he believes Echols, Baldwin and Misskelley are innocent. He said prosecutors told him that they planned to reach a no-contest plea on Thursday.

"There's certainly no justice for the three men that's been in prison or my son and his two friends," Byers said. "To me, this is just a cop-out from the state for not wanting to admit that they made a mistake."

Prosecuting Attorney Scott Ellington declined to comment, as did defense attorneys and a spokesman for the state's attorney general. They all cited a gag order issued by the judge overseeing the case.

Echols, Baldwin and Misskelley were slated to appear in court for an evidentiary hearing in December. But on Thursday, Craighead County Circuit Judge David Laser announced that the men would be in court on Friday. He declined to release any further details about the hearing.

But the person familiar with the case said that the earlier verdicts would likely be set aside in order to go ahead with the tentative agreement. In what's called an Alford plea, they would agree that prosecutors have a solid amount of evidence against them _ likely enough to win a conviction.

Normally, when defendants plead guilty in criminal cases, they admit that they've done the crime in question. But in an Alford plea, defendants are allowed to insist they're innocent, says Kay Levine, a former prosecutor who now teaches criminal law and criminal procedure at Emory University in Atlanta. She is not involved with the Arkansas case.

"It's not an insane strategy decision," Levine said. But, she added: "It's incredibly troubling to us as a free society that people would plead guilty to something that they actually did not do."

Some judges find the legal maneuver offense, Levine says, because they see no reason someone would not contest to a crime that they didn't commit. But most prosecutors would take the agreement, she said.

"The prosecutors still get the deal that they have already struck," she said.

Department of Correction spokeswoman Dina Tyler said the men were transferred from Arkansas prisons, along with their possessions, on Thursday, ahead of Friday's hearing in Jonesboro. They're being held in a county jail there until their court appearance.

___

Jeannie Nuss can be reached at http://twitter.com/jeannienuss

___

Hawkeye Update

2011-08-17T19:30:00.001-05:00

Since Hawk left us this spring, he has started a new career. This is one of my most recent videos of him at his new job. If you do not remember him, he is the red dun heel horse.

Im so proud of him. I admit I miss the ol crank, but I know he is happy to be working instead of lounging like he was here. If all my horses turn out like him, I will be thrilled.

Life Project--The midlife crisis

2011-08-15T23:33:00.002-05:00

I clearly have had one--well, I had one and then I had one forced on me. I thought my rowdiest manifestation of it was my tattoo. I see now it probably was not, but it is hard for me to distinguish between midlife crisis and full on lunacy lately.

I see them happening all around me. My counselor, Darla, swears they are some of the most powerful changes stem from a midlife crisis, they are normal and most people have them. We talk about them a lot, but I want to know how many of you have gone through it and what your experiences were.

If you have had yours already, what did you do? Did you know that was what it was? Was there something besides age that kicked it off for you? How long did it last? Were there good things that ultimately came of it?

I think this could be a really interesting topic, and I want to get this blog moving again- I miss all the old commenters, and the great dialogues we had here---this is on my mind so lets talk about this for a while.

And anyone who wants to suggest a topic for deep discussion or ridicule-come on. Let's get this community back together!

Weekend project--the big tree

2011-08-14T23:42:00.003-05:00

This was one of my best trees at the farm----100 years old, 80 feet tall pin oak--and down it came on a pasture divider fence.
It was almost 4'6" in diameter, so you can imagine how hard it was to get it cut up so that it was movable. It took a major part of the weekend and a lot of equipment. It had been struck by lightning at least once, but this was the good part of it. Even chopped up, the tractor could not drag it--it was eventually able to be shoved enough out of the way that the fence can be re-built. It smashed t-posts, and generally made a nuisance of itself. Even the smaller branches will make great firewood--now if I only had a fireplace!~

This was the second and larger of two trees that I have always loved. They were right next to each other The first one came down in early June, and when this one came down, it was not immediately apparent to me that it had happened because I assumed what I was seeing was remnants of the first one. You know how you can look at something and know it is not right, but not know what the problem is? I looked and looked at that tree line for God knows how long before I realized what had happened. I used to spend hours under these two trees when we would get a new horse that was somewhat wary of people. I would prop myself up against them with a book and wait for the horse to get curious enough about me to come to me. I cannot even count how many hours I sat there. It breaks my heart to have lost them, especially because they were so beautiful. Those two trees were what I thought of when I thought of the farm layout--and now they are gone.

Its almost symbolic isnt it? Something can be part of the fabric of your life for so long you do not think about it until it is gone. But then, it changes and you learn to like something different--and maybe forget what it was ever like.

It is done

2011-08-11T22:37:00.002-05:00

I am divorced--got that way about 2 pm on Wednesday, August 10.

Its okay. Barry was here to sign his part of the papers on Tuesday so we had lunch together and he came out to see the dogs and get more stuff. We had a pretty good time and it was all right.

At least it was until later Tuesday nite. Some of the girls joined me for champagne and cocktails, and of course, before I got to bed I ended up bawling like a little girl. I needed to get it out though. Thank God for FB, as it let me chat with some far away and old friends who talked me through it until I could go to bed.

The actual day of the divorce I had some other things go haywire which totally overshadowed the end of my marriage--if that does not tell you how quickly I have assimilated this change in my life I do not know what can show it more. Four months and your world can change--and you can live through it and be happy again.

In other news--I have to have rear brakes on the truck and the washing machine died.

Just another day in my world

They are home!

2011-08-01T21:50:00.003-05:00

Mandy and the kids got here tonight--back home from Qatar for the first time since they moved in April. They have actually been in the US since last Tuesday, but they have been in Park City at Edward's family vacation home until tonight.

Gabi is as bossy as ever. She acts like she is running a multinational corporation, the way she orders everyone around. She is very concerned about where everyone and everything is--especially the horses, as if they could possibly be in the kitchen at mom's house.

Crews looks like he is completely in shock. Or maybe in a coma. It is hard to tell with that one--the only thing he really said tonight was that he had to potty, which is pretty impressive for a kid that is not even two years old yet. His birthday is Sunday. He is absolutely hysterical with his little scrawny body--I had no idea that little boy underwear came in sizes that small. They look kind of like doll clothes. He is sporting some fancy red drawers today that had us all in hysterics.

I must have been excited about them getting here, because I got so much done today. Not only did I get a huge amount of actual work done while I was at work, I got a lot done on my lunch break and before and after work as well. I made deposits in two banks, made an appointment to have my car detailed, made an appointment with appliance people to see why my washer is throwing up every time I run it, had it out with Verizon until they changed my package without charging me more, went to they gym, got pizza for everyone once Mandy got home, and ran the bushhog until I threw a pin in it. Now that I think about it, all that energy might have come from the adrenaline of having fired my farm hand yesterday, as he is a piece of crap.

I hope I can keep this up as I have a crazy week ahead of me. Gonna be fun but busy!

Squeak and her filly

2011-07-24T20:22:00.002-05:00

I realize I have totally neglected this blog and even worse, I have not been taking any photos of the babies. I have not been on the ball at all, but I swear I am going to catch up.

She is a pretty little girl for sure. I think I am going to name her Snort N Squeak, but I have no idea what her call name will be,

You cannot really tell it from this pic, but she is getting ready to sneak under the hotwire to take a short cut to dinner. She is an agile little monkey--such an athlete.

I promise I will do better on baby pics, especially after the 120 degree heat index days are over~!

Cayman Cemetary

2011-07-11T00:06:00.002-05:00

I love cemetaries...I always have. I always find them on vacation, and am fascinated by them. There were several we ran across in Grand Cayman, right along the water. I cannot imagine a more beautiful setting for a final resting place.

I cannot STAND this--Casey Anthony

2011-07-05T21:14:00.003-05:00

I am so tired of hearing how the jury got it wrong in the Casey Anthony trial today. Of course, the loudest complainers are those who have been calling for her head for years, long before the first piece of evidence was ever presented to the jury, so clearly they have no respect for the jury system in the first place.

I have no idea why it makes me so crazy. I know most of the world cannot separate their emotions from the facts before them, and it scares the hell out of me that we let regular people like that on juries. This is not news to me.

I am shocked that she was found not guilty but not for the same reason everyone else is shocked. The State flat did not prove their case. Simple as that. I am shocked the jury could see through the emotion of it to get down to brass tacks to return the verdict the evidence required. For one of the few times, I am proud of a jury.

I know juries. I deal with them every day. I have talked to lots of jurors after a verdict and am shocked and amazed every single time at the information they give us. If I can be surprised, and it is my business to understand juries, then it is no wonder the rest of the world can be surprised at jury behavior. What I do not understand is the rabid reaction of the general public to this verdict

Where is the outrage against the State for wasting resources on a case they knew they could not prove? For torturing the families involved? Why is the anger directed at the jury who could only work with what they were given.

In the end, Caylee is still dead. Conviction or no conviction, nothing can change that.

Grand Cayman--underwater

2011-07-02T13:58:00.002-05:00

I think this is my favorite one....the color of this orange spoinge was incredibly vibrant, even way underwater. Generally speaking, most of my pics really suck...I just started editing them, and have a lot more to go, but since it has been so long since I posted, I thought I had better get something up here.

Stay tuned and there will be many more, as well as other pics from the trip. I have a jam packed social calendar this weekend, but will try to get some more things up before it is over--happy Fourth of July!

Odds and Ends

2011-06-18T09:44:00.003-05:00

Funny how it works that the world still goes on even when you are on vacation.

Since I have been gone, I have learned that Sly's best girl is in fact in foal for next year--so there will be another matching baby to the nicest Sly baby I may have ever seen. The dam is Red Dees Lassie, so the babies are siblings to the great Lassie Lender. Baby will be here mid April.

Also, I still evidently have a hole in my duct work at home, as my HVAC people are not getting the job done as they should. I am sure they will--it just would have been nice to have it done while I was gone.

Also, today is my sister and brother-in-laws 13th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary Austins! Have you ever counted the countries you have celebrated your anniversary in? I bet Qatar is the most exotic.

Because it is their anniversary--that means it would actually be Barry's and my anniversary as well, if we were still having them. Which clearly we are not. I am calling this my first NOT-iversary. And it is going to be a big day--Amy and I are getting ready to go jetskiing to Stingray City, and after that, we are going to the Flowers Sea Swim, which is a very cool event. You can read about it here http://flowersseaswim.com/ Lots of ex-Olympians do it--and if I see Ryan Lochte, who has done it before, all bets are off about adult behavior. That is one hot sumbitch.

We did a night dive the other nite--my first one--it was incredible. I will come up with pics to demonstrate what we saw since we had another camera malfunction. I will catch up on photo posts when I get home--there will be lots but we have to share an ethernet cable here and have been so dang busy that there just has not been time to do the posts in a timely manner. Amy has actually let me SLEEP some on this trip, which is unheard of for her.

So we are off for a big day of adventure for our last day on the island.....we are going to do it up since we have to be at the airport at 6 AM.......

To Hell and Back

2011-06-15T23:24:00.003-05:00

As often as I thought I was in Hell, I was not in fact, in Hell, until yesterday.

There is a town called Hell on Grand Cayman, and Amy and I went there to see it.

It is named hell due to these weird rock formations...this is what the real hell would look like. I personally think there would be more fire, but it was hot as hell for sure

The only thing more alarming than the devil being this short and making Amy look like an Amazon is that when we went in the store...there he was FOR REAL. A little bitty sawed off man in a devil suit. I did not know the devil was Asian, but evidently he is.

First day on Grand Cayman

2011-06-12T23:30:00.002-05:00

I did not get into the condo until almost 6 tonight and just a little time before sunset to spend on the beach while waiting for Amy to arrive. At some points, it was overcast, but I got a couple of shots and walked a couple of miles.

This is the beach right outside of our condo.

As the sun was going down, there were still a few people out on the water.

I had to get back to wait for Amy so I got one last photo from right outside our room.

After she got here, we had a great dinner and went to Coconut Joe's for a few drinks with the rest of the world, who was watching the NBA game. People are funny no matter they are--there was a rowdy group from Dallas and a bunch of Brits--you could pick them out even without listening to them, because they were no kind of interested in the game. Amy left at 6 am her time today and I stayed up way too late at Lorna's last nite, so we are in relatively early tonight, like good girls. I suspect it is the last time we will be properly behaved all week, especially since we discovered that the Caybrew Light is a tasty and good beer. Also, we have a blender in our condo, and a big ol bottle of rum, so there you go.

Tomorrow I should have way more photos to choose from. We are going to rent a car in the morning, and go to the Sunset House to dive....then relax to get ready for the evening. We are going to try to not go balls to the wall all week like we usually do, and spend more time doing normal vacation things like laying on the beach and in the pool. We will see how successful we are with that!

An apology and a catch up

2011-06-11T02:38:00.002-05:00

I am so behind, it is absurd. I would give you an excuse, but really I do not have one other than the obvious. It is hard being in charge of all the things I have to get done around here. However, today, things finally came together.

The bathroom is almost completely finished! I finally broke down and hired a painter and he painted it today. There is one missing piece of a cabinet door, but otherwise, she is done. And it really is beautiful.

Also, the tree on the fence at the farm was chainsawed up and the fence mostly repaired. The farrier was here and knocked out a pile of trims. The pool is damn near clean--which has honestly taken all week, and will probably be a mess by the time I get back anyway.

Yards are mostly mowed--well, kind of. Only part of the farm is done.

I was fairly productive at work this week too.

The other house things that have happened are many--new ceiling fan, several light fixtures are installed, etc....a leak in the roof was discovered and repaired. A hole in the ductwork was discovered and steps taken to repair it--but that is a big project, so won't be done for a bit. No wonder my power and heating bills are obscene.

When I get back from vacation, I am going to bite the bullet and have Rock put to sleep. I know it is almost time, and I want to beat her to the necessary stage. But it freaking sucks, and I cannot talk about it yet.

In other news, Linda's mother passed away. Even when you know it is coming, and know it is best for her, it still sucks. Its hard to watch Linda deal with it, because we all know it will be our turn someday. RIP Mrs Hanks.

I am headed out tomorrow to go on vacation--I will do what I can to catch up while on the way, and while I am there. Obviously, this will be a different trip than it normally is, but I am going to give it all I have to make it great.

Full weekend

2011-06-05T21:22:00.003-05:00

I worked my butt off this weekend. That includes more than two hours at WalMart on a Saturday. No person should ever do that. But I was trapped because they had my car in the oil change place. Even worse my cell phone battery died while I was there. It was like the ninth circle of hell.

I ran a bunch of other errands too, like picked up pool chemicals, got my nails done, did some laundry etc. Had a nice catch up with Tracy finally--I have not seen her in forever, so that was good. Went out with Holly for a bit. Just a regular night.

Today has been completely packed. I worked on the pool, mowed the yard, washed the dogs, and managed to get some round bales. They were so heavy though that no one else could lift them, other than my tractor, so it had to go there to do it. It was a bit of a circus. But nice hay and it is home. And of course, now I have a migraine from allergies.

It does feel good to get a jump on the week though, and not be starting out behind. Not that I have that totally under control of course---I still cannot see through all the stuff on the island. I have to force myself to bed early tonight too, as I have an intern starting in the morning and plans tomorrow nite--so I cannot lay around here all morning

Have a good week!

Pulled the trigger- next big trip BOOKED

2011-06-03T23:51:00.009-05:00

I bought my plane tickets to visit Mandy in November, in Qatar. I am so excited, I cannot stand it. I got a really good deal, managed to get only one layover each way (in Manchester going, and London coming home) instead of the three that is standard from the Midwest, and it is BOOKED!

Qatar is a small country in the Persian Gulf, attached to Saudi Arabia. Bahrain is just above it and the United Arab Emirates is across the bay. There is great shopping, sailing, camel racing, an incredible equestrian center, sand dune safari things, and amazing beaches.

This is the Grand Mosque in Doha, where Mandy lives.

When they get done showing me Qatar, we are going to Dubai!

This is in Dubai--it is the worlds largest tower, the Burj Dubai--more than twice the height as the Empire STate Building
These are the Dubai Towers. Isn't the architecture of this place incredible? Google Dubai photos and you will be amazed at how unique the architecture is here. The hotels and residences are absolutely mind-boggling.

Edward has been to Dubai a million times for work, but clearly I have done no such thing. He mostly worked so much there that he did not get to do a whole lot. Fortunately, I have a connection there that can show us around and make sure we do not miss anything.

I cannot wait!

Camping Weekend

2011-06-02T20:07:00.003-05:00

Storm damage

Look at the old woman on this mule
Sand Cave

15 minutes of hell, etc

2011-05-30T21:39:00.003-05:00

I have a new anti-anxiety trick--designed to help squelch the ridiculous anxiety I can get over stupid things--like the laundry. I am supposed to do whatever thing I procrastinate about for 15 minutes, so that it is not overwhelming and does not get out of hand.

My counselor had me order a book that has all kinds of anti-anxiety tricks in it--a lot of behavior modification stuff. I actually ordered it the day she told me to, but it is not here yet. I hope it comes tomorrow. Evidently, I waste a lot of energy being so anxious. I guess that does not surprise me, but it was pretty eye opening for her to be able to pick out the things I do (like make lists obsessively, do everything either all the way or not at all, etc) that are classic responses to anxiety. Huh. Guess that is what she gets the big bucks for huh? Smart lady.

I guess this is as good a time as any to stop that shit, and learn how to have different responses to situations than I have had prior to this. It is like I sabotage myself by letting things get out of control, and there is no good reason for it.

In any event, the 15 minute trick is something I am going to start applying right away. I am going to start it on the laundry, which is not out of control yet but the baskets are full. I swear I am going to get out of this damn chair and put it up for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes I am allowed to quit if I want to. But for that 15 minutes, I cannot do anything else, like answer the phone, go to the bathroom--nothing.

And yes I realize that since I am spending all the time typing this, I am not actually starting the 15 minutes. Yep. I know that. Doing it anyway.

My other projects for this week are to get the pool started--I did get the filter set up with mom's help tonight. I mowed the yard at the farm tonite, and need to haul the mower here to do this one. It looked so nice when it was all freshly mown, and the landscaping looks so good. My flowers are even in good shape still! I have not killed them yet. I have to clean my car out--AGAIN. Supposedly there is a $600 check in there that came in the mail--I don't think it has come, but if it has, it is in that car somehwere. I have to re-paint the bathroom. I have to figure out what is up with my camera--it went berserk this weekend and if it is on the skids, I have to get a new one before vacation, which is in 13 days. I sure hope its not kaput. I have to clean out the horse trailer--which I managed to drive myself to camping this weekend and did okay. My neighbor at the farm is going to park it for me so I do not knock the barn down trying to do it--its just too damn big to manuever it myself. Ideally, I would get cracking on cleaning the garage, but since it is going to be in the high 90s this week, I suspect I will not be doing any such thing, anytime soon. I need to update my website with baby pics of the foals--which I guess means I need to take some of those huh? I should run some ads too to try to sell some of the ones that I still want to sell. Hope the camera is not crapped out, or that will have to wait.

See there I go again--procrastinating. Damn it. In four minutes, I am starting the timer.

Gabi Chronicles --Part II

2011-05-27T00:41:00.000-05:00

More from the Gab-let, almost immediately upon her arrival in Qatar:

Gabi just called the police on her Mickey phone regarding her brother. Her exact words, "Hello. Police man? Our little Noodle is having a hard time. He is not making good choices. Can you come? Thanks." To me, "The police will be here right away."

Gabi Chronicles

2011-05-26T00:15:00.003-05:00

Since I cannot seem to stay on top of things here, I will randomly stick in funny things Mandy tells me about Gabi and Crews. Last week, they moved to Qatar in the Middle East to join Edward, who is still working for Exxon. Since Qatar is an Arab country, it is very conservative, so you can imagine how this family will do there--it could get dicey.

In any event, this is one of the first stories Mandy sent, and it came today:

The other day we went to a local supermarket. Gabi was sitting in the seat of her cart and a man and woman in traditional dress (men wear white thobes, women usually wear black hijab and abaya) walked by. Many locals wear these and there were several people walking around her wearing the same thing. I don't know if it was because they passed pretty closely by her or what. But they were about 5 feet away and she whispered reverently to me, "Mommy, I just saw a ghost. A ghost. I just saw a ghost."

Needless to say, I almost pissed myself

Partial reveals

2011-05-17T20:17:00.007-05:00

I cannot wait to show you all the changes around here. These first two photos are the laundry room after Jackie threw away almost everything in it. Jodi and I did what we were told. Normally, there are blankets piled over my head in the corner where the trash can is. Now they are all put up. There are usually boxes of stuff removed from my car that never make it past the laundry room. I cannot even remember the funniest thing that we found in them--but I do know there was a full can of beer with a born on date of 2009 on it. And God knows what else, but I am sure Jackie or Jodi will remember. Also the dryer is always covered with stuff--and dog hair. No more!

This is the laundry room closet--usually, if you open the doors, things fall out. Now there are just a row of hampers on the bottom (pretty much empty because the laundry is mostly done--can you believe it?), and suitcases on the top. Empty suitcases at that--although that took a lot of doing. I tend to not unpack them when I get home from places. In one, I found a bunch of cheese sticks. And a scuba diving doo rag. And clothes with the tags still on. It really was funny

This is what Jodi and I did before Jackie got here. We emptied the linen closet at the end of the hall. My goal was to pitch all the sheets that were full size, since I have not owned a full size bed in so long. We also pitched sheets that were just worn out, or had holes in them, or just were wrong in some way (like had pictures of dalamations on them--WTF?) It took at least two LARGE trash cans to pitch most of it. And look how swell it is now? I have not yet done the top section which is where just things live. Maybe soon. Now the sheets are organized by size--king size closest to the room with king size bed in it, and queen on the right. There are at least 30 pillowcases and no one knows why. I even still had a duvet cover that was a wedding gift--good LORD, was that long past its time. Out it went. Neither Jodi or I could believe the sheer volume of bed stuff that came out of there. Now it is organized and there is even a section for throw blankets, which never really had anywhere to live

This is the newly painted and carpeted murder room. It is all happy and sunshiney in there. I need to buy proper furniture, but I do not have to do everything at once, now do I? And new blinds. Meanwhile though, it is clean and organized

I will paint that bookcase white one of these days. And come up with something to put on the walls.

This is the landscaping after Jackie and Jodi beat themselves half to death to get it cleaned up on Sunday. It looks so much better, I cannot believe it. Things just get out of hand sometimes, and it seems overwhelming to do it. Plus, I have not really had any help for so long, it really got bad. Now I pull in to the drive and am pretty dang happy to see it. It is a great feeling, and I cannot thank them enough.

These are the flowers mom and I planted tonight. I needed something there, but Jackie was sure the rocks would make it hard to keep anything going. That may explain why things have always died there--too much heat. Jodi suggested a container, but with dogs the size of cars, and a pig who takes moving items as a personal challenge, I had no idea what would work. So I am trying this. It is really heavy anyway, but we put dead concrete block parts in the bottom to weigh it down and allow for better drainage. Two bags of soil, and special miracle gro moisture control stuff, and some happy flowers, and this how it looks. The first animal that screws with it is getting an ass kicking, but I seriously doubt it can be hauled off.

In addition to planting the flowers tonight, Mom assisted in the breeding of Lassie's mom by Sly. I absolutely love that horse. The first breeding of the year is always a little nerve wracking because a 1000 pound horny man on a rope leash is just not the safest thing in the world, no matter how good a boy he is. Sly was a good boy though.

I also fixed the fence in the front pasture, and put Cash's baby back in the right place a bunch of times. Then we came here, planted the flowers, and then took the chainsaw to the mess in the backyard. I had done some damage last night with the hedge trimmer but it was going to take more than that--so tonight the chainsaw got after it. There is so much to clean up, but it needs to dry further so I can see what needs to be pulled out and what is still attached. Mom is hell on wheels with the plug in chainsaw. While she cut up stuff, I rounduped what must be the most serious stalks of poison some damn thing I have ever seen in my life--now please pray that I do not get attacked by the poison like I usually do. I also went after the weeds in the pool landscaping, and another area, but there is a slice or something in the wand part of my backpack sprayer, so I probably did not do a very good job. One more thing to replace, I guess--I am going to own Lowe's before this is over.

Finally, I got the nerve up to repaint--just touch up-- the wall in the orange bedroom that Thor scratched bald running in his sleep. It will take another coat on that wall, but already there is an amazing difference. Hopefully I can get that done tomorrow nite, and that will be one more project that has waited many years too long to get done.

As far as current on-going projects, that leaves only the bathroom to be finished and it is close. My custom cabinet doors arrived at the designers today so I will pick them up tomorrow and pay her bill--that will be a little frightening, but I know what to expect from that. The labor--God only knows what will happen. He should be here this week to finish up, replace a bunch of light fixtures all over the house, do some little things to fix the drawer tracks in some kitchen drawers, etc

Mostly, I feel like a rock star. And exhausted rock start, but still a rock star. I think a lot of this energy comes from the sun finally coming out, as well as some other personal things that are giving me some adrenaline rushes. But I will take it where I can get it!

Et cetera

2011-05-16T22:36:00.002-05:00

I have no idea where that post from last week went. Blogger had some issues and some stuff just went poof. Weird

Today has been a complicated day. First order of business was me waking up way too early and going to work. On the way, I called my round bale man to arrange delivery of the last of my bales, and they are GONE. You can imagine how that went over with me. I was not even to the office yet, and I was in a bind. I worked it out though with a different supplier before I even got to work--that made me feel like I was totally on the ball.

As soon as I got there, I got an email telling me I have been appointed to the public defender association board. Okay.

I do not remember what went berserk next. I was working my little brain to the nub in there, I do know that. I went to the gym, and I was already sore from all the landscaping work this weekend, so it was a tough workout. I got some good news at the end of it that made my whole day perk up.

Things got a little better in the afternoon, although I felt like I was making no work progress. Came home, mowed the yard, and felt all virtuous about how good the landscaping works and having the whole yard mowed on a MONDAY. I went to the farm to get the trailer to move the mower over there, and I knew things looked weird. Someone had MOWED the yard at the farm for me! I did not know who, but it looked great. Most of it was done. I could not believe it.

I texted Scott and asked him if he did it--but I did not think so, because it looked different than when he did it. There were some hard parts left to do, so I fed everyone, ran the water and took the trailer home to get the mower anyway. I got back and did some of the hard parts, still wondering what in the world had happened there.

Not until I was ready to head home did I find out who had mowed my yard--it was the kid across the street. Isn't that the sweetest thing? I texted back what a great surprise it was and thanked them profusely. It was a great thing to do, and really made me feel good. Plus it looked way better than if I had done it!

There was still daylight when I got home, so I took the hedge trimmers to the landscaping around the back patio. Those bushes are out of control, and the weeds in them are so bad, they are trees now. The bushes should be three or four feet tall and they are seven or eight. Or they were. I trimmed until dark. They do not look good, and are still too big, and I probably killed the, but I do not care. They will be easier to rip out if they are dead and should probably go. Jackie will kill me though because I did not pick up the clippings. Tomorrow I will at least pile them up--and maybe burn the damn things right where they lay--it would be way easier than hauling them off. I so might really do that.

Once it got dark, I came in and started the new paint that Jodi and I chose for the bathroom. The remodel is almost done, but I decided that the color I had painted it was not good, so we picked a new one. I just did a little bit, to get ready for the new cabinet doors that should be here soon.

I cannot believe I have done that much work in one day. Im scaring myself, I swear.

Door to Door Wildlife

2011-05-10T22:28:00.002-05:00

We just moved offices in December and now are not in big downtown MtV...we are more on the edge of town, albeit in an area with new office buildings going up all the time. Just today on the few miles between there and my front door, I saw enough animals that I started getting my camera out.

This was part of a herd of 20 or so deer just outside of our parking lot

And this unfortunate looking dude was on the side of the road by my house

And of course, just outside my front door---the most handsome of them all....the Baconator. Who is missing his friend Charlie, who I have not seen in a few weeks. I assume he is out whoring around, but of course, I have no evidence of that. I miss him though, and I know Boce does.

Squeak's baby girl

2011-05-08T20:23:00.003-05:00

Born on April 29--the day of the Royal Wedding--here is Squeak's baby girl by Snorty Lena. She is cute cute cute, and has more chrome than anyone deserves

They are so funny looking when they are first born arent they? All joints and points and big heads.
I think she is a beauty.
And this is today--she likes the mud more than any baby I have ever had. Things are drying up at an amazing rate, considering how much rain we have had, but she manages to find the muddies spot to play in. The other two babies are perfectly clean other than their legs. This one is a disaster.

I have been calling her Snorty, but that is not a real name. Squeaks N Snorts might be her registered name--I just thought of that one.

Miscellaneous

2011-05-05T20:38:00.003-05:00

I was asked whether I would keep this blog going in light of the new one.

Yes. In fact, this will still be my main one. The other is much more limited in scope and while I am sure it will be busy for a while, that may not last as things get less interesting.

I will do better about keeping up with this one. I had some photoshop issues, have been AWOL being social, etc, and really just needed to take a break. I am back in business though.

In other news, My parents' hometown is being evacuated due to flooding. Most of my family lives right on the Mississippi River, and all hell is breaking loose. Aunt Jana is going to fetch Gran Gran because of the evacuation and bring her up here for a little while. I cannot imagine losing your house, or other important stuff, but it is not the first time it has happened there. A few years ago, a cousin was swept away in floodwaters there and it took a long time to find him. A tornado destroyed another cousin's house several years ago, and I always loved that place--I thought of it kind of as the seat of the whole family. It was a big ol house with a huge porch and tree-lined driveway and ratty old tennis courts--then BAM, bricks everywhere. That still makes me sad.

Good news though--Aunt Jana's cancer doctor told her today that he cannot find any cancerous cells in her lungs. WOW. They are going to do three more episodes of chemo over the next three months, but no more radiation and then just keep an eye on it. She is still on oxygen, but otherwise this has been a relatively easy treatment and it worked. That is amazing!

Last piece of news--the bathroom is halfway done. The new floor is in, the vanity, and the new toilet is in--we are still waiting on the granite top and sink, but hope it will be here next week. As soon as it happens, I will do pics

Its going live!

2011-05-03T22:27:00.004-05:00

The new blog is kicking off--but since it is a private one, I have to have an email address to send you an invitation. For those of you who said you were interested, and for which I have a regular email address, I likely already sent you an invitation.

However, since it is me, and I screw up half of what I do, it is possible I did it wrong. It is also possible that you have to have a wordpress.com ID, since that is who is hosting it. Hell if I know, this is a whole new format to me.

But I do know that you do not want to miss out on this.

Send me an email to paigestrawn at gmail dot com with the address you want me to send the invitation to, as well as an explanation (if I don't already know you well) of who you are. I am not trying to be exclusive, just trying to protect myself and make sure I do not accidentally end up with half of Barry's family on there. Not that I do not love them even though evidently the feelings are not returned, I just do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, or say anything that would upset him in a format that is irresponsible.

I am going to be pretty damn honest on there, and be warned--it may get ugly. You may or may not think much of me sometimes, but it is about time I started worrying about me and who I really am instead of dressing up and pretending to be someone else.

If you can handle it, come on--

New blog idea

2011-05-02T21:34:00.003-05:00

I am going to start a new blog, at AmyB's insistence.

I need a place to tell the crazy stories of things that are happening to me, but my regular blog is no place for them. She is sure I need to write this stuff down. Adventures of a newly single person is hardly a new story in the world, but since it is me, I am sure it will be absurd all the way around--at least so far it has been.

For one, too many people know about this blog. I want to be able to talk about things I do not want the world to know...well certain people in the world, that is. This one is just way too big for me to be telling some of the things I need to tell. Facebook is damn sure no place even for the subtle references that a few people will get--the rest of the world does not need to know.

We have been calling my re-entry into the single world my "Catch and Release" program. Unfortunately, that name is taken. We also refer to this stage as life in a halfway house--like recovery from marriage/divorce.

So any ideas for a name? Send em in, and I will get it set up--already there are some stories that need to be told.

And let me know if you want in on it--

New baby boy!

2011-04-25T19:51:00.002-05:00

Look who showed up this morning! At 9:20 am, Aries had a bright red baby boy by Dualin Boon.

He is strong and appears to be healthy and is kinda cute. She struggled a little for several hours afterwards and is taking her sweet time cleaning up but surely the oxytocin I gave her will move that along soon. If not, I will have the vet up tomorrow--which is kind of funny, since I took Foxy down to Coogan's to see Dr Miles three days in a row, and now he will have to come here anyway.

That leads to an explanation of why my truck and trailer are stuck in the yard, but I do not want to think about the mud right now.

How different is it?

2011-04-23T18:23:00.003-05:00

Looking from the outside, it would seem like my world is not that different than it was just three weeks ago. Three weeks ago today, I visited Barry in his hotel where he was working, We watched the NCAA tournament at one of our old favorite bars from law school, and watched more of it snuggled up in the bed in his hotel. It was swell. Just like it always is.

48 hours later, this nightmare started when he walked out.

It is so hard to wrap my mind around how fast things can change. And then again, wrap it around things that have NOT changed.

I still do all the same things I always did. I go to work. I go to the gym. I go to the farm to take care of the horses. I come home, where I sit alone, with the dogs. But that is nothing new, because he was always gone working anyway. I get texts from people checking on me, and the phone rings off the hook, which is new.

Last nite, I went to an open house party for my sister and her kids. I was nervous and not sure that I could get through it without getting upset. People are nice to me, and it makes me sad. These people have been in my life all of my life as my parents' friends, but as an adult, they became our friends too. This was the first real event where I would see them all, so the first time I would have to face them. Alone. That is different, and would not have bothered me in the least had he not been here just because he was working somewhere else.

But I handled it. I even had fun. I tried to avoid thinking about all this, but it was kind of impossible, and everyone was very comforting. I only cried a little bit, but no one cared. That was good. And I feel like I got something out of the way. The party ended up carrying on late with Liza and Kyle, Emily, Amie and Mandy. I actually had fun. Lots of it. It was good. It probably would have been more fun with him, but it is not like I cannot enjoy myself without him. I have always known that

Today, I have been very lazy and tried to catch up on sleep but it has been a bust. The storms have continued since yesterday so there was nothing I could do outside anyway. I had one brief stabbing pain when I saw a picture of Barry posted on Facebook, but I guess I better get used to that. It is not like he is totally gone from my life--he checked in on me to see if I had storm damage this morning, so we texted some. I wish that was not so comforting to me, but it really is.

I guess the only thing that is really that different is my feeling so empty. I have always been so content with my life, even when things were not easy like when he worked far away from home and I never saw him. I KNEW he was there though, and now he is not. Well he is, but not as the basis of everything in my life. And that feels so weird. I have to reconcile how blind I was to this whole thing with my idea of who I am, and what I want.

And I do not really even know where to start

An overlooked but nice thing

2011-04-21T22:02:00.004-05:00

In the ultimate indicator that life goes on, even when we think it cannot, Cash had a baby girl last Wednesday nite. No signs of course, and one of the few nights I was not on patrol doing all the other crazy stuff the last few weeks have required, Cash plopped her out in the front pasture with her lady friends all around.

I did my morning check by driving by and when I saw the gaggle of hosses standing in the corner of the opposite pasture, just staring, I knew what must have happened. Sure enough, there she was!

She is a pretty little girl, isn't she? Way flashier than I expected, since both of her parents are lacking in chrome--but she sure is not.

If I were finding much pleasure in anything right now, I am sure I would be thrilled with her. I did enjoy taking pics of her turnout in the front yard tonight. We have been suffering through horrid storms off and on since her birth, and tonight is the only clear spot in the forecast, so she had some play time around 7 pm. I don't want her out in the nasty mud, so she did her playing in the front yard.

I have no idea what to call her, but I am hoping for a call name that has something to do with money, since both parents have the word Cash in their names. And no, Penny is not it. I just do not know what it IS, yet.

There are more pics on our Farm Page on Facebook

This part is hard too

2011-04-19T00:23:00.003-05:00

I can go from fine to a puddle of hysterics in a second. I really hate that. I feel like I have no control over my emotions at all. I absolutely hate that.

If someone is nice to me, I fall apart. If someone is shitty, I fall apart. Today, someone threatened me and has the means to carry it out, and that is about the only thing that made me mad instead of sad. Maybe I need more of that.

Tonight, Mandy helped me pack up stuff in Barry's closet. He left a lot of his stuff here--thousands of dollars of clothes, shoes, etc. Lots still with tags on it, and some I know were his favorites. He said he took what he wanted, and to do whatever I wanted to with the leftovers. What I want is for him to come live here and use it all, but I guess I do not get that option. So we packed away a lot of things I am sure he will wish he had later like his padded butt shorts for biking, and special biking socks and stuff like that, and made a bunch of bags of things to give away. I kept some things that I love, like some old favorite shirts that we both wore. I am sure there will be a day when I do not want to look at those things, and will move them on, but for now, I still want them.

Then we put up the ever present laundry and put some of my things in his closet. He had the master bedroom closet to himself with all the fancy organizer stuff in it, while my stuff was always in guest room closets with no lights in them. I never thought that much of it before, but now I realize how crazy that was since he did not even live here most of the time. He just had so many clothes and he wanted it that way. That is another prime example of how things may have looked one way outside of this house, but were another way inside of it, that most people would never have realized.

Then I spent a long time on the phone with a guy friend who is sure that Barry has been cheating on me for years, and it is my fault for being such a bitch who takes care of business. I do not think he has been cheating on me, but maybe he has. I do not think he is that kind of person. I am not sure it really matters.

I know I am a handful. My friend called me a mastiff. That is probably pretty close to accurate. I do not want to be, I just feel like I have had to be. It has pissed me off for a long time that just because I CAN take care of myself, I should not HAVE to all the time. I should never have to wonder if he would defend me or stand up for me should the situation arise. I don't know how come being strong, independent and capable turned into a bad thing--and how come, if you are those things, you cannot also have someone who loves you and wants to help you be all of that?

So that was a disturbing conversation. I know he said a lot of things I did not want to hear, but needed to--but nothing that has not been running through my head anyway.

One thing that bothered me, I have heard for the second time now. Did I give up too easy? Was I supposed to beg and plead for him to love me? To stay? To let me fix it? To guilt him into changing his mind? Am I supposed to track him down, and proposition him, and would it matter if I did?

I am trying so hard to get through this. I know the things I did wrong in this relationship. I know the things he did wrong. My friend seemed to think I do not value my marriage if I do not go down fighting and kicking and screaming like a banshee. I think what I am doing is trying to respect Barry's decision. It is killing me, but I really feel like this is so far gone that there was no point. That I did not get let in on the secret until after the body was decomposing in the ground seemed to be a calculated move so that I could NOT change his mind. I do not think I could stand to do the post-mortem again and to resort to my old ways of getting my way at any cost would destroy any chance Barry and I have of salvaging a friendship out of this. I guess I am hedging my bets.

And that is another thing--something I do not think people understand about me--it was never about getting my way at all costs, because quite often I did not know where I ended and Barry started, so never was a decision made in my life without consideration of where he stood on the issue. I think he never really understood that, no matter how many times I tried to explain that. Just because I did not do something his way did not mean that I did not consider it. And quite often, he would not give me an opinion to work with so I had to work it out for myself. I think maybe I guessed wrong on a lot of things, huh?

I have not let my mind even entertain the thought that I could change his mind. I do not think I could live like that, waiting for the other shoe to drop, not being able to trust what I see or feel....it sounds like a special kind of hell. I don't think I am giving up, I think I am just accepting his decision because I do not have any choice.

I am mixed up. Its hard not being able to talk all this through with him, but I am trying to let him have what he wants, and that is to be away from me. That leaves me to sort it all out in my mind by myself. I do not want to talk bad about him, that seems unfair, especially as I worry what he is telling people about what happened. I want to be as respectful as possible of him. I know he is struggling with this too--obviously not like I am, but he says it is not easy for him either.

This better get easier.

Hardest Post I have ever written

2011-04-17T22:00:00.002-05:00

But I cannot put it off any longer, since it was in the paper anyway. It has not been a secret, I just have been unwilling to put it here in public because that made it real. And I I did not want it to be real.

Barry left me. He is not in love with me, and that is something I cannot fix. Two weeks ago tonight, we were at dinner with friends having a great time. Twenty hours later, he advised me via unconventional methods that he had packed his things and was gone, and wanted a divorce.

We have been together for 19 years, and married almost 17. Our marriage has been unlike most others, partly because he has spent so many years working on the road, among other reasons, but one thing I thought was beyond question was that we loved each other. We have been best friends for so long, I thought we were the luckiest people in the world to have that, especially when I heard so many of my friends tell me they did not have that with their husbands. He is always the first person I want to tell something, or spend time with, or plan with.

So I feel like I have been shot, and like the air is leaking out of my lungs. I can go a while and be fine, and then it hits me so hard, I get dizzy.

Its the little things that hurt surprisingly much. I have heard nothing from anyone related to him, which is really sad to me because even though I know they do not really care about me, I have been a part of their family for 19 years. I was there when his dad died, and his brother married and divorced twice, and his daughter died, and when his mom got her nursing degree, and all the things that come with being in a family. And evidently, all of that is for naught because you would think there would be some feeling for me, even if it is good riddance. That is sad to me.

It is not like Barry and I are fighting. We are not. We are getting along really well, for people who are going through this. I think he is surprised I am not screaming and throwing things--actually he said he did not expect me to throw things, but he would not have been surprised had I set something on fire. Frankly, I am surprised I am not screaming. I just am heartbroken. I love him and want him to be happy.

I want me to be happy too. I cannot imagine how I can do that --I cannot see that from here. But I know that I am not the first person to go through this, and I am going to live through it. I do not have any choice, now do I?

There have been some huge changes in the last two weeks as a result of this development. I need to be able to talk about them, so I probably will in the future. I will try not to be a downer though.

stay tuned

2011-04-08T00:24:00.002-05:00

I know I have been done, and I have lots to talk about--but I cant.

Not yet.

Just please pray for me. I'm more damaged than I have ever even imagined I could be.

I will be back when I can handle it

More Rosemarie

2011-04-03T00:11:00.002-05:00

Of all things, evidently Rosemarie is upset that the world is disgusted with her about the starving of her animals. She called Carrie ranting and raving about how she is being talked about, and how Carrie should make her friends stop it. Carrie had no idea what she is talking about, as I certainly have not contacted her and have no intention of doing any such thing. So Carrie has nothing to do with whatever grief Rosemarie is being given by anyone.

In the conversation, she admitted that Molson did in fact starve to death.

Umm...I'm confused. You starved the animal to death, but people who think you suck as a result are out of line? I think not. That is a hell of a code of behavior she lives by.

She blamed it on her father -in-law-and said it happened in the course of a month. Molson was fine, then she went to Cuba for two weeks then returned and it was Christmas time, and she has kids, etc......all good reasons for starving your animal to death, huh? I feed my horses all through the month of December, how bout you?

What a piece of work. One good thing can come of this--there is never any reason to ever have anything to do with this person ever again. I can do my little part by saying my piece right here, so that anyone who bothers to google her before selling a horse can see that she admitted that her horse died of starvation but still does not take responsibility for her role in it, and figure that into a decision about whether to do business with her.

That is my public service for the week

How much more reprehensible can one person get? Rosemarie Ortman update

2011-03-29T22:27:00.004-05:00

I have posted about Rosemarie Ortman before--I consider her the Devil of the Great White North (Canada).

She first came into my world in a peripheral way a few years ago (three I think), when she bought a Slybaby from Carrie, in Alberta. His name was Molson, and he was out of her best mare, that she lost later. He was a beautiful boy, looked so much like Sly, but thicker. When I visited one summer, I took lots of pictures of him-it was eerie to me how much he looked like Sly. Carrie sold him not long after, to this crazy Rosemarie.

She had trouble with her from the get go--arguing over the price they agreed upon, and eventually making a deal to give Carrie some breedings back to him. Carrie had just lost her mare she had since she was a teenager and was in a deep funk--she did not have it in her to fight about anything horse related, so it was easier to trust it would be okay

Red flags started going off for both of us, but the horse world is full of crazy people and their money is as green as anyone else's. Or whatever color Canadian money is.

The first problem that arose, I think, was when she stole my photos to use in her advertising. This pissed me off for a couple of reasons. First, she did not ask. Second, she did not even pick the best pictures. Carrie caught her at it and told her she could not use them, but that I might give her permission if she asked nice.

Nice is not quite how it went. I fully intended to give her permission to use them, if she used quality ones that showed him well and gave me credit for them--I did not want my name on a crappy pic, and I did not want her advertising him at stud showing him in anything other than the best light. That would hurt Sly. If she did it on her own, that would be one thing, but to steal my pics to do it--I think not. She was a raging bitch. I cannot tell you how foul she was. She pretty much gave me the finger and challenged me to do something about it.

And she continued to use the photos. At that time, I blogged about how she was a thief. Because she is. Not just for stealing my photos, but for not paying in full to Carrie. She also never transferred the horse in AQHA, so people who bred to him thinking they would get AQHA foals could not get them registered--she did not have the authority to register them without first transferring him into her name. So she stole from me, from Carrie and from mare owners. She even stole our slogan for Sly's campaign, changing only one word. See his old stallion ad here

About the time I calmed down from that, she pulled another stunt. She claimed Molson and some other horses were stolen from her. My ass. I knew better, as well as if I had watched the situation go down. I knew she was lying. There were "poor me" articles in the paper, even the Edmonton Sun, I think. The ads she placed about them being stolen were slick, well done ads---not the sort of things a grief-stricken panicked owner throws together in an emergency situation. More red flags. She said these horses were her "life's work"--hell, she was not even living in the same province as them at the time. It was just odd how the situation was handled.

And lo and behold--they were found. Imagine that. Since they were not stolen in the first place, it was not so hard to find them. I called her out then too--just hoping she would come back and start insulting me again--I love that sort of thing, even when it is not a fair fight. She needed to hear some things I needed to say and I damn sure needed to say them, but alas--I was disappointed again.

Molson had been for sale prior to his big adventure, and I guess she thought mention in the newspaper upped his value because she jumped his sales price from $5K to $6K I think those were the figures. In fact, she is still trying to sell this poor horse--- see here and here

Now I am all about getting what you can price wise, but I knew he would never sell like that and he would be stuck with her. She had not even really started him--so nothing to recommend him but his looks and his pedigree. Although I do believe she lied about that some too, regarding whether he was ever trained. Her horse, her story, I do not care. It is just frustrating to see a nice horse not be properly served, especially when he was the product of so much hard work by Carrie and me (the story of his shipped semen conception was one for the history books on its own).

I finally moved on and quit hoping someone would mow her down with a semi, until tonight. Tonight I learned that in December, Molson starved to death, along with some other horses she owned and kept on the family farm.

That is right. Starved to death. Do you have any idea how long that takes? That does not happen over nite. That does not happen in a week. For an easy keeper like Molson, a five year old stallion--it does not happen over several weeks. This took TIME. Time that he suffered, and was scared, and hurt from hunger and his organs shutting down on him. Time that he was in hell, because she did not do her part.

Now I am not unfamiliar with neglected and starving horses. Through Linda, I have seen more than my share of them, because she was a hooved animal humane investigator. I know from the racks of bones she has dragged home how hard it is to get one in that shape, and how easy it can be to fix one if you will just FEED IT.

This story gets worse. Just two weeks ago, Carrie ran into this disgusting piece of filth at a tack sale. To her face, Rosemarie told Carrie she was getting good money for Molson's "registerable" foals. Not only is that another lie, because they were not registerable without Carrie's signature which no one has asked for even though she is still the sire's registered owner--but she had the perfect opportunity to tell her then that Molson had died. Now I certainly would not have told her that, if I had starved him to death, but then again, if I was that evil, who knows what I might have done?

And now we know, via one of Rosemarie's "friends" that she starved Molson to death. And has bought a replacement stallion, this time a palomino, from here in the States somewhere.

I do not know what the worst part of this story is--probably that the cycle is going to start all over again so she can starve some more to death.

And nothing is being done. It has been three or four months and the news is just now making it out into the world.

There is a special place in hell for you Rosemarie Ortman. I hope you treat your children better than your animals. And the vengeful part of me hopes that you someday learn what it is to be hungry--sooner rather than later, so you can get to that special place in hell where you belong.

And in case anyone thinks that I should not be posting this publicly, I invite Rosemarie or her cohorts to come here and tell me I am wrong. Prove it to me and I Will take it back. It won't happen, I know, but I would be thrilled to know I am wrong. Maybe the story got twisted, but considering the source, and Rosemarie's history, I seriously doubt it.

I am an idiot

2011-03-29T19:29:00.001-05:00

I have someone coming to quote the painting of the bathroom and bedroom. So what did I do? Tried to paint the bathroom. Good thing I am getting a new floor in there, as I have paint all over the place, including me.

Also, since when does paint cost $51 a gallon?

Cinder's big adventure

2011-03-29T00:03:00.002-05:00

I thought Cinder would like it if she got to go to Tracy's to play on Saturday nite. She was not. She did eventually find some men who would let her cuddle, and managed to live through it. I should have known she was one of them. Just look at that sweet face!

This evening, I cleaned out the deep freeze--well not really, I just took out some stuff to make room for new, and I finally gave up my freezer burned strawberries. I thought Peeg would love them-he loves fruit. Who knew that Cinder would be so happy about them? She did the same thing she does with all her food--grabs a bite, then runs and deposits it somewhere else.

See here, on the far side of the driveway, she started a pile of strawberries, and yelled at anyone who looked at it. Poor Tazer did not know whether to try to play with her or play defend the berries against Peeg. Cinder made it clear he should do something else besides look at her strawberries.

Eventually, they had a friendly tussle, and all went well, until she got knocked down just on the edge of the concrete apron, and thought she was going to die. Oh the howling that went on. It was very dramatic. Look at that horrible sad face. Doesn't that just break your heart?

And how bout her pretty pink stitches. I hesitate to say this only 6 days into it, but she has not bothered those stitiches at all--she has been so much better than Tazer was about his. Cinder is turning into such a good girl--now if she would only learn her name and stop being so scared of everyone so that you can catch her without tackling her. We have a lot of work to do, but now at least I think she is worth it.

Do you think she is getting taller?

So this is what staying at home is like?

2011-03-27T21:02:00.003-05:00

I do not get to just BE at home very often. There is usually so much to do, places I have to be, etc, that there are never days where I just do not HAVE to do something. Today was one of them.

I stayed up late reading a book with Slater. I slept until mom woke me up at 11 to come help me pick the paint. They came out and agreed with me on the color, but then I was tired, so instead of going to the store, I went back to bed. That was swell, but Tazer kept waking me up barking at God knows what in the yard. I set my alarm to make sure I got to the paint store before they closed, and went to Lowe's on the way to buy a couple pieces of the tile we are going to put in the bathroom, so I could pick paint for that too. I went to the grocery store on the way home, although I do not know why.

I fed my ponies, watered everyone, checked on the mamas to be, and talked to Mandy on the phone about all the things that are just jacked up in our world. It is Gabi's birthday, but I was banned from buying her anything since she has so much crap and they are moving to Qatar soon anyway. They do not need more to pack or store. She asked about whether the babies were getting "boring" yet, but we are pretty sure she meant Born. They are coming to visit in a few weeks, as soon as they get the final court date for Crews' adoption out of the way--not that it is even set yet. They better hurry up though as Ed has to be in Qatar to work on April 15, and that is an awfully pricey plane ticket to buy to come home for a hearing that will take ten minutes.

Anyway, I came home from all that, played with dogs, and started painting the bathroom. I ended up getting caught up in that stupid green Frog tape and it wore me slap out. I thought I would be up all night because of the nap, and might get something done, but it does not look good at this point.

I could kind of get into all this not being scheduled to death. It is kind of nice.

I have to go to St Louis to the doc tomorrow. Since it seems pointless to just do one thing at a time, I am going to take Tazer with me. He is feeling neglected lately, since Cinder got here, and has out grown his collar, so we are going to go to PetSmart and McDonald's for him.

When I get back, I am finally allowed to go back to the gym! Two chiro appointments down, with more this week, but I am getting way better. Better enough I want to ride Harley if possible tomorrow or Tuesday.

And maybe, just maybe, Diablo and baby boy will get to come home this week. They still are not over all their problems, but are making improvements, so that could happen.

Let me Tell you About Bob

2011-03-26T23:41:00.004-05:00

This week, we lost my main man Bob. I have talked about him on this blog more than once, but I know I never made it clear how much Bob mattered to me. I always though I had time. I did not. It has taken me all week to try to write this and when I was almost done, it deleted and I know I cannot do it as well trying to recreate it

MT. VERNON — Robert Virgil Walsh, 92, of Mt. Vernon, passed away at 11:50 a.m. on Saturday, March 19, 2011, at St. Mary’s Good Samaritan Hospital in Mt. Vernon.

Robert was born April 9, 1918, in Grayville, a son to the late Thomas Virgil and Daisy (Bisch) Walsh. He graduated college at the University of Illinois finished law school there in 1949. He settled in Mt. Vernon and chose an active career in the business of oil and gas leasing and production.

Mr. Walsh was first elected to the Illinois General Assembly in 1962 and served two terms. Due to his popularity, he won re-election in 1964 on the infamous statewide “orange” ballot, also known as the “bed sheet” ballot. He was a principal sponsor of legislation to establish a bi-state airport at Lawrenceville. During the 1970s Robert was chairman of the Jefferson County Democrat Party. Representative Walsh returned to the legislature in 1977 to fill the remainder of William O’Daniel’s term.

Mr. Walsh also served as an aide to Secretary of State Paul Powell and travelled throughout the country with Powell. Many believe Powell would have easily been elected governor but for his untimely death. Robert had many interesting stories from that colorful period in Illinois politics. He later owned a race pony which, with whimsical irony, he named “Shoebox Kid.”

Mr. Walsh was a delegate to the 1976 Democrat Convention in New York City and participated in the nomination of President Jimmy Carter.

At the age of 90 years, Mr. Walsh went to Denver for the 2008 Democrat Convention where he participated in the nomination of the president and was seated in a place of honor with the Illinois Delegation.

Robert met and supported many candidates for public office. He remembered meeting President Harry Truman, Ambassador Averill Harriman, President Lyndon Johnson, Attorney General Robert Kennedy, Vice President Hubert Humphrey, Governor Otto Kerner, Governor James Thompson, President Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter, President Bill and Hilary Clinton, President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, Governor Patrick Quinn and others too numerous to mention. Mr. Walsh enjoyed a warm friendship with Senator Paul and Representative Jeanne Simon.

Mr. Walsh was a World War II Veteran of the United States Army and was a member of numerous civic and fraternal organizations, including the Masonic Lodge, the American Legion, The AMVETS, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the Moose Lodge and the Elks Lodge. He belonged and contributed to several organizations dedicated to the preservation of wildlife and the environment.

Robert Walsh is survived by his special friend, Mary Tonn, four grandchildren, Robin Walsh-Roberts and husband Jon and Bradley Wayne Walsh and wife Rashell, all of Cerulean, Ky., Tamara Anderson and husband Troy of Phoenix, Ariz. and Ryan Patric Walsh and wife Jerusha of St. John, Ariz.; great grandchildren, Christian Thomas, Jessy Pearl Walsh and Bradley Robert Walsh of Cerulean, Ky., Shane, Ethan and Braden Anderson of Phoenix, Ariz. and Reese and Reagen Walsh of St. John, Ariz. Other extended family includes stepson Richard Fagan and family of Ohio.

A son, Robin Walsh is previously deceased.

Prior to his passing, Robert was constantly attended to by his good friend Dr. Richard Garretson.

Robert will be sorely missed by many friends but especially by Larry Hicks, Charles and Karen Given and entire family, Leslie and Jerry Hannig, Tom and Dorothy Puckett, Gary Duncan, Sandy Edmison and Alec Duncan, in whose lives he played a special and loving part.
****************

I met Bob when I was three when my family moved in across the street. I thought he was nice, but when I grew up and realized that he was campaigning when he brought popcorn, I felt kind of silly. Until I told him that 25 years later, and he laughed his ass off. He would come play with us in the front yard, in the leaf houses we made.

I took up with him again when I moved back home after law school. Bob had a law degree but he never practiced. He was an oil man. He ran around with a bunch of lawyers though and would turn up where I was a lot. We fell into an easy relationship like none I have ever had. I would see him at the Elks, which in our town is very much a social place. A girl can go in there on any given day and find a friend, and lots of times, for me, it was Bob.

We would talk about Illinois basketball, something we were both rabid about, and we would meet to watch the games. We would cuss and discuss every move they made, and eventually, pretty much everything else. I would tell him things I did not tell anyone else--like how I was scared about something at work, or how I felt ill equipped to do certain things, or when I did something I was super proud of that I knew most people would not get, etc. He would somehow make it better but not in a pandering sort of way. He was not a pandering sort of dude--he somehow would just cut through the crap and get right in where I needed him to, in order to make me see straight. Making him proud was a big deal to me

Some of my best memories ever were having dinner with him at the Elks, just the two of us, and talking until we were hoarse. He would drink Scotch he was not supposed to have for health reasons, and I would listen to his stories--and man, could he tell a story. They would have been great stories, even if you did not know the people he called by first name were very famous people, politicians, etc. Bob never seemed to distinguish between me and someone who was his equal, even though we were 55 years apart and I could never be the amazing person he was. Maybe that is why I loved him so much--he was one of the few people in my hometown who made me feel like a grown up instead of a little kid. When you come home to your hometown, you do not always get treated like a professional, but instead, so and so's kid, or sister, etc. Bob made me feel like a force to be reckoned with all on my own, and I do not know if anyone else in my life ever did that--and somehow he did it even while treating me like someone he had cared about since I was little. It is just hard to explain how he could do both, but he did. Just thinking of his stories makes me blush a little even thinking about it, because it was so shocking to me to learn that this larger than life character was just a regular person who told dirty jokes, and belched, and yelled at the TV. Just like the rest of us.

So Bob is gone. It breaks my heart. I hope he somehow knew that Illinois won their first round NCAA game the night before he died, and he never had to know about the whole ILL-Kansas fiasco that happened the next day. I know he knows I loved him, admired him and will miss him so much

Lots going on this week

2011-03-24T22:59:00.002-05:00

In the midst of all my anxiety about Diablo and the baby, this has been a busy week. I realize in saying that, I am just being an idiot, because I am not doing the work taking care of him. The food poisoning or whatever it was knocked me out of business for a while, and I had to break down and go to the chiropractor to have my neck dealt with. It is working, and I go back tomorrow. I got a message that I had a regular doctor's appointment today, so I went even though I did not know why. It is hard keeping up with my appointments, I feel like a very old person. Monday I have to go to St Louis to the gyno, which wastes the entire day. Meanwhile, the chiro banned me from the gym until Monday, and now that will be Tuesday because of the doctor's appointment.

This is ridiculous.

I am not the only one that has been busy. Baby Cinder went to the vet Wednesday for her surgery. She got spayed and managed to avoid bladder surgery, so she got her stomach tacked instead. Clearly, her previous owners did not get really treat her as reported because one round of antibiotics given to her by us solved her bladder problems. She has been such a good girl ever since. I let Tazer sleep with her last nite and he took care of her. She slept in bed all day today by herself. I am not sure my good luck with her can last--surely she will get her energy back soon and refuse to sleep through the night.

My new computer came. She is so pretty. It is brown. I do not know why, but it is pretty. The world has changed since I got this one--now there is a tool that lets you transfer most of your stuff from old to new computer. That is cool. Now I am downloading programs that I had on this one--harder than it sounds. Fortunately, you no longer have to keep up with the actual CDs. I have been able to find most of my serial numbers in old emails. This makes life much easier, but what I am going to do about my website program Front Page I do not know-since they do not make it any more. That will be the project for the weekend.

What else? Oh, we sold Hawkeye. Someone got a great horse.

Today, I bought plane tickets to Grand Cayman for June. I am currently in negotiations for a condo on Seven Mile Beach. AmyB is going with again, of course. This year, we decided to do something a little less adventurous and a little more normal. Last year took a toll on my ass, eating the crazy fat farm food and being so hot I could not breathe. I need a break from Third World countries, and just need a little spoiled pampering with a swim-up bar. Dive camp is excellent but so is good air conditioning and pretty boys to serve you cocktails by the pool. It is going to be that kind of vacation this year.

I think that is all I have. I seem to have all this free time now that I am not at the gm 90 minutes a day, but I feel like crap. Guess I will go to bed

The painting dilemma

2011-03-22T22:31:00.002-05:00

After 13 years of living here, we finally are doing something about the murder room. It is just atrocious, but we could not get in the mood, get an idea, have the time and everything else together at the same time.

But Barry cleaned out a lot of it last week or his brother to visit, and ripped out the rest of the carpet. So we went and got paint samples and started at it. And why did it take this long to develop paint samples? Each jug does 75 square feet, so you can paint a decent amount. I wish I had invented this sample idea--it makes so much sense.

We chose a bluish green and a corresponding brown. They are gorgeous in the store. Not so much in the house. Of course not. I would go so far as to say they are hideous. The brown looks like sick baby shit. It is awful.

But I am stuck on the idea of blue and brown. The room is pretty big 15 x 16, so it can take color. And hell, anything is better than black walls with red and white splatters on it like it is right now! I guess it is back to the store for some better shades. It has to be something fairly bold, or the rest of the house will totally over power it. The hallway leading to it is a grass green, so it cannot be something light, or it will not fit here. We are a loud colored kind of house.

In the same vein, we chose new porcelain tile for the hallway bathroom as well. The laminate wood in there is so damaged, because the subfloor warped. It is only 30 square feet so it will not be a big project at all. And for once, we could agree on the tile, and did it quickly. We need a new subfloor under it first, but Barry can do that. We texted the floor guy to get a date so that is on its way. We will have to repaint in there too. I would like to put a new vanity in there, like a vessel stand with one of those cool sinks, but I do not know if that will happen--we may be getting out of hand price wise. And it is a small bathroom obviously--it is the hall bath, with a tub, a 25 inch vanity, toilet and nowhere near enough storage. But it is kind of fun to do every once in a while, and they are both over due.

In other news, I think I was struck by food poisoning yesterday. It was hell. And my neck is still out of whack, so all that puking was especially fun for me. Baby boy TR is doing great, although Diablo was in some distress today, and required a vet visit. Things must be going better now as I have not heard otherwise. The vet found nothing retained, and she is eating and pooping like crazy so she is not colicy--just sore from having a baby boy, we guess. Banamine is a good thing.

Tomorrow morning is Cinder's big surgery. She is getting spayed and perhaps her bladder opened up and cleaned of all crystals and rocks in there. If there are not any rocks, she will get her tummy tacked too. She is turning into such a good girl. Squirrelly as hell, but good--and she would not fit in here if she was any other way. Think good thoughts for her tomorrow, please--she may need them.

And in most excellent news, I ordered a new computer. I am going to have a new laptop who has its original keyboard, and does not require a plug in mouse because all of it is going to work. Hot damn!

Midway through a miracle

2011-03-21T22:50:00.002-05:00

Some how, some way, something crazy is happening. After a bit of a crazy overnight, baby boy has come on like gangbusters.

He had a rough night last nite, during which he was described as being "not worth a shit". He was losing ground, I guess. After that, he got busy and pulled his own stomach tube out in the middle of the night. No one knows how. Then again, no one knows how he has done anything he has done so far. This one is a once-in-a-lifetime experience for everyone involved. Or we hope so, at the very least!

When we went to visit him about 3:30 this afternoon, the first thing I noticed was that there was normal activity on the farm. That tipped me off that something was going on. The something was NOTHING! There was no drama, no shenanigans, no problems--allowing Judy and Dempsey to get back to their other responsibilities. I held my breath as I asked how he was doing. The smile on Judy's face pretty much answered it immediately.

He had been up and down all day, and had figured out that he gets more food from mama than from his own knees, which is where he had been concentrating his attention. He was way more mobile than he had been yesterday.

This little sucker may pull this off after all.

It is amazing to see a miracle unfold right in front of you like this. I would not have missed it for the world

Diablo's baby is here~

2011-03-20T20:08:00.003-05:00

And we still do not know if he is going to make it. I took him to Coogan's Farm to foal, on the recommendation of my vet. A lot of people thought that was not necessary, but today's events proved it was almost prophetic.

Her foaling alarm went off at 2:40 a.m. last night and she had a textbook delivery by 2:55 a.m. His cord did snap early so his umbilicus had to be tied off, but that is no big deal. Judy thought he was lethargic, so after giving him plenty of time to act normal, she got in there and tried to stimulate him. When she manipulated him a little, his head and neck flopped over to the side, like it was broken. No matter what she did, his head fell over. It scared her to death, but not nearly as much as when he started seizing in a wild manner. She said she had never seen anything like that in her life---seizures, yes-this sort of behavior, no. He kicked his legs all crazy all over the place, and still could not control his head. He thrashed and thrashed and banged his head on the ground, and ran like crazy as he laid there. She said it was like he was making snow angels but super fast--straw flying everywhere.

The whole reason they were there is because they can handle virtually any emergency and are way closer to Dr Miles should they need him. They needed him. His emergency service rousted him out of bed, and his thought was that there was nothing they could do for him. Judy could not get me to wake up, so she made the decision that he would be given a feeding tube, and we would see what happened.

So doc came up, tranquilized baby boy, gave him some banamine, some dex for brain swelling, and put in a stomach feeding tube. He left meds to continue tranquing him in the event he started seizing again when it wore off. In his opinion though, there was no chance in hell he was going to survive--he thought he was approaching brain death

I finally heard the phone ring around 10 and hotfooted it down to Coogans, about 45 minutes away. I thought, from her description, that I was going to say goodbye and make the decision to let him go. I was so frustrated. Barry was right behind me in his truck, because he was supposed to go on to the Shawnee to go mountain biking.

When I got there, Judy came out of the barn and looked so serious, I knew it was over. But nope--he was still hanging in there. This was the scene that greeted me. He was under a blanket because he shook so much. That is vet wrap around his neck and nose, to hold his feeding tube in place. There is also some duct tape on his nostril so the tube could be sewn in. They had been milking Diablo and feeding him via the tube every hour since he was born. That is the only reason he was still alive. His little baby eyes were practically swollen shut from all the trauma.

Within minutes, he had rolled his little self up on his chest, and could hold his head up. Judy said he had not been able to do that yet. She was more than a little shocked.

It was feeding time, so that happened. That feeding tube sure makes life easier, and Diablo is a saint. She is such a heavy milker, it just takes seconds to get 8 ounces out of her and into him. He is surely eating better than if he was doing it himself.

After a couple of hours of this, where I laid in the stall with him and rubbed him all over under his blanket, he got stronger and stronger. He started responding more to stimuli, and even talked a little bit. It broke my heart. No one could believe it when he started trying to get up, but try he did. Just like a newborn baby, but he was 9 or 10 hours old.

Finally he DID IT! We helped him a couple of times, but finally he did it on his own! He does not move around a whole lot, but he can sure stand up. He seems confused by his legs, but not like he has neurological issues like we thought--just like a new baby. A little slow maybe, but he is doing it

The vet called while this was happening, and I swear he thought he had the wrong number when I told him baby boy was wobbling around the stall on all fours, just like a regular baby. I think you could have knocked him over with a feather.

I stayed until 2:3o and he was trying to learn to nurse, but had not gotten it down yet. There is a fine line there--you have to keep them fed every hour because they have no reserves, but then they are not as inspired to find the taps because they are not hungry. I was sure he would figure it out.

I had an update at 6:30. He had gotten up with assistance, and once on his own, but still does not nurse on his own. So no improvement there, but he is not going backwards either. I have to keep that in mind instead of being disappointed. It is not a foregone conclusion that he is going to make it yet,. but he has a fighting chance, and he did not have that 12 hours ago.

He would not have had a chance had he been here. It is only because of Dempsey and Judy that he is still with us. If working hard and wanting it is enough, he is going to pull through. Let's hope it is enough.

The people in my world

2011-03-20T01:41:00.002-05:00

are a surprisingly useful bunch of folks.

Tracy in particular is swell and never fails to shock me about what she knows, has handy, or can get done in the space of a second. Today was a prime example

Yesterday, I came home early to take a nap as I was exhausted and it was my damn birthday, so why not? I had eaten entirely too much at birthday lunch with Tranae and Vanessa, and could not stand my skin another minute. In doing that, I realized I was skipping going to the gym, something I never do. But I did it

I woke up from my nap with a stiff neck. The longer I was awake, the worse it got. I missed some planned events, like riding Harley at Tracy's, having a long committed and much dreaded shot of tequila with Les, etc. My brother in law Jeff came down to see a band, so we went to that. I met some other friends up there, etc, but I hurt so bad it was hard to enjoy the night. If I turned my head, it knocked the wind out of me.

I longed for bedtime, thinking I could sleep it off and wake up cured. Nope

Today was worse. I could not even get out of bed without help. I had blurry vision, everything--I was in trouble. I even had to cancel my planned trail ride tomorrow, which almost made me cry. We talked about getting a new chiro on Monday-- a long way away.

Finally, I gave in and went to Tracy's, because it was Les' birthday, and Cindy and Colleen were here to play. That was the plan, and I was not missing it, even if I could not move

And this is where it gets funny.

Tracy can fix anything, but how she did this, I will never know. She did not even know how bad I hurt or why. Yet, when I walked in, she had handy some rodeo folk. And a damn chiroporactor from Texas

And one of those gravity hanging tables.

Before I knew what had happened, I was upside down worrying my boobs would fall out, and my head was pulled damn near clean off my neck. You could hear the cracks like shotguns all throughout the barn. And because it was Tracy's house, some dog was licking me.

When I got up, I was sore, but not feeling like I could die at any minute. Now, 7 hours later, I feel like none of it ever happened. I feel great!

And did I mention how hot this man was? He mentioned that he keeps being asked if anyone has ever told him he looks like Mel Gibson, and until he mentioned it, I had not noticed it. After he did, it was all I could see.

In any event, we had a great night as usual. We had a great dinner courtesy of Cindy and Colleen, and laughed with the chiro and company until we cried. It was great fun.

And I can move!

Everyone should have magic friends.

Big night

2011-03-17T23:33:00.003-05:00

I know I have presented myself as a mess who cannot get out of her own way. The fact is that is not always true. Mostly, I am pretty together. Yeah, people who know me in real life are laughing their asses off. But truly I have my shit together most of the time--even when it looks like I screw up everything, I have already knocked out a whole bunch of other stuff.

So tonight I went to a Meet the Candidates thing for a friend who is running or City Council. I have known him since I was probably 12, but took up with him again recently, because I was so impressed with the activism I have seen from him in the media lately. I looked him up to tell him so, and found myself completely sucked into his family. His new wife, his sisters, nephews, etc. It is a small town, so it is inevitable that when you get a new friend, you also get his family because turns out you know them too. And I am truly enjoying it. I do not even get to vote for city council because I live in the county, but I wanted to show my support.

In any event, this thing lasted til 7. While there, I got to enjoy several other people that I really like but rarely get a chance to talk to--maybe because mostly I am busy doing too many things at once.

We moved the party on after that to our regular Thursday evening BAR meeting. That is where things got good. There I learned from a young feller--33 I think, that growing up, he had the hugest crush on my forever and thought I was "fine". Does that word take you back forever or not. Even better, he made a big deal out of it in front of Barry--to whom he kept apologizing--and the date he had with him.

I know it is silly, but man did that feel good. He thinks I am still swell. And damned if he did not make me feel that way too.

This day

2011-03-16T21:18:00.002-05:00

was a pain in the ass, for several reasons.

Went shopping with Rita over lunch, and was late to training--so as punishment, the Bad Boy made me RUN. or jog, or whatever, but it was horrid. Not only did he make me do it, he made me do it outside. We only went a mile, but we definitely jogged more than we walked. Probably 3/4 mile was jogging. I wanted to die.

I wanted to die even more when we got back to the gym and did some HIIT. One of the things we did during it was leg extension machine, which requires the padded bar to lay across the lower part of my shin. Oh my God, did it hurt. Already, just 10 or 15 minutes after we got done jogging. I bitch the whole time we do the HIIT training, but it is totally worth it. I burned over 500 calories in 30 minutes, plus the jogging.

So that made me feel better. After work, I went to the farm to ride Harley and it totally ruined my night. We have had so much rain that we have limited riding spaces, and she was not good about any of them. I am praying it was the saddle we use, because I was so disappointed, I almost cried.

And just now, this very second, I just found some taco meat from dinner in my belly button. I shit you not.

Only in this family

2011-03-15T20:38:00.002-05:00

Do things like this happen!

Mom was going to go to Chicago to be with aunt Jana while she does Chemo this week, but emailed me on Sunday night to say she was going to delay her departure because Dad was retaining fluid again, and having trouble breathing, so she needed to get that dealt with first. He has everything wrong with him, and is on umpty eleven drugs, so sometimes things go crazy. When they ignore it though, he ends up in the hospital.

So mom was home Monday morning when she heard that Gran Gran, who lives about 200 miles south of us, in the bootheel of Missouri, had fallen in her house. Gran Gran is 92 or 93 and still lives alone and does fine. She hurts a lot as she has bad osteoporosis and if she coughs hard, she breaks her ribs. In any event, she must have fallen out this morning, and was going to the hospital via ambulance.

Off mom and dad went to meet her at her hospital but on the way they were diverted to Cape Girardeau, because Gran Gran was going to need surgery. She was en route from her hospital to Cape via ambulance. I guess mom made a right turn and headed to Cape. Irritating thing about Cape is that it is not really that far, but there is no easy way to get there.

By the time they got to the hospital, Dad was having some sort of episode. Next thing you know, he was admitted and put on Lasix and God knows what else. When I talked to mom, she was ranting about not being able to find the ER.

This does not happen to normal families. How do you end up with half your family in the same hospital, in a town where no one you are related to lives?

I am sure I do not know, but if it is going to happen, it will happen to us

Step 3 of the transformation

2011-03-10T19:41:00.003-06:00

Finally, I got new pics of the hair--it took me until today to get it right. Yes 6 days. Six days to learn how to do my hair. And really, I am still not doing it right, or I would be able to just blowdry it and get slick hair, but I cannot do it. I have to use a big fat curling iron on the top layer because I do something wrong and still get some frizz. Its easy though--just like three curls under and it fixes it.

This process works though or I could curl all day long, and I would still pretty much look like Bozo.

And yes I felt like a complete jackass smiling in the mirror like some skanky ho taking nudie pics. Aren't you glad I did not do that? Clearly I do not focus well when I am doing this--Im a little blurry.

And now I see there is a piece of hay in my hair. That should come as no surprise to anyone--I almost always have hay somewhere. If I use the flat iron, I can make it stick straight, but it is kind of flat like that. For normal, I like this better.

I cannot believe there is finally something that will straighten my hair, and defrizz it. I want it to grow another three inches or so, at which point I will remember why I cut it off in the first place. I want a little lighter for summer too, because I need a change from my real color. Normally I get highlights, but they tend to turn radioactive orange during the summer--I wonder if it not being so curly will keep that from happening. Otherwise, I have no idea how to get it lightened up. Good thing I have Liza for that.

So what do you think?

I cannot take this anymore

2011-03-09T19:46:00.000-06:00

I know I have blogged about this sort of thing before, but this is getting out of hand. This is not the regular "tools at the gym" post. This is about a particular tool.

He makes me so crazy that when he shows up, I want to leave. But I will be damned if this smarmy little dude runs me out of the Y freaking M C A. I will not have it.

Tonight I saw his slimy ass arrive when I had only about 10 minutes left. That is pretty good, surely I can make it through ten minutes, I think.

But tonight, he was specially jam packed with irritation. Not only is he overly tanned, but he dresses like he is 17--with basket ball shorts hanging low, and some spring break looking t-shirt. And he is 50 if he is a day. He has this young hair cut that he uses entirely too much product in. I do not know which is the most irritating thing he does--it might be how he sings out loud to his I-Pod, clearly listening to some weird music. I can tell it is weird because while he is squealing and playing air guitar to himself, it is completely unrecognizable. Or it might be how he THANKS everyone for coming to the gym. Like he owns the place. Which he does not, mind you. He is just a regular ol jackwagon who needs to stay home and at least far away from me.

It makes me crazy. The only thing he does that is even creepier is to hit on every girl under 20 in the place, although I kind of enjoy that because he is never successful.

One day he got on the machine next to me, and made some comment about how I should slow down or I would not make it. Lovely, just what I need--tool convo. I told him I was within minutes of completing my hour, so I thought I would be all right. He of course has to tell me he does two hours per session. Um, no he does not. He must not realize I am here every friggin day and see him come and go in a much shorter time period. Plus, he is not really working all the time, he is making a nuisance of himself and squealing, and calling everyone "Brotha" and high fiving all over the place. Also, if he worked out two hours a day, he would not look like an earthworm with a tanning bed and a personal waxer.

Ugh, I cannot even talk about this much more. It is getting so bad, I am considering getting up in the mornings to go to the gym rather than going at lunch and after work like I do now. I am about to be defeated by a cartoon character

How my little zoo welcomes me home

2011-03-08T19:19:00.000-06:00

Now that it is warming up, Peeg is getting much more active. So when we got home from Mardi Gras on Sunday, and I left the front door open for the new pup to come in, I got more than I bargained for. By the time I had all my stuff unloaded, Bocephus had waddled up the front steps and into the living room. He absolutely adores that cowhide rug. Every time he comes in, he goes in there and rubs his tummy on it. It makes you feel dirty to watch him do it, like you might be interrupting some very personal moment. It is funny as hell though, because sometimes he tips over while he is doing it.

And Charlie the Cat was not about to be left out of things. That goes to show you how ballsy he is, it would never cross his mind that walking into the path of a new dog is not likely in his best interests. And somehow, all that cockiness works for him, as mostly everyone leaves him be.
Meanwhile, short stuff has gotten a name. Or we think she has....we are trying to call her Cinder. Or I am. Barry calls her Shit Stain, or Browneye, or Charcoal, or Cinder Block, or some permutation of all of the above. She does not care what he calls her, as she is completely in love with him.
Isnt that how it always is? He does not want her here, so she has fallen head over heels for him. And because she is so precious, he is falling back, just like he always does. This is her laying in the floor by his chair. Of all the places she could choose, she wants to be by him. Her best day ever has been when she got to sit in his lap on Sunday nite--she was beside herself.
She is even winning over the main man Slater. Although you can not tell that from this pic--he is giving her the very suspicious side-eye. This whole get on the couch with him thing absolutely disgusted him, but he is trying really hard to not be a tool about it and tolerate her. I hear they even played together in the front yard while I was at work on Monday. She jumped in bed with him on Monday morning, and the look on his face was absolutely priceless. He stared hard at the wall, and refused to acknowledge her while she flopped around in the bed like a crazy, wiggling and knocking herself all over trying to cuddle up to Barry. That is a huge tribute to Slater's attempt to be good, as he believes the bed is his kingdom, and we kind of let him think that. I know he likely wanted to pop her head right off, but he just drilled his eyes into the wall and refused to have anything to do with her. I could tell he was getting angry, so I was very proud of him when he decided to just get up and go outside instead of get nasty with her.

This is a very funny house. I love all my little monsters, at least most of the time. Who else has all these personalities in their house without having to send any of them to college?

Scenes from Mardi Gras

2011-03-07T21:40:00.003-06:00

In case you think this is a regular day in St Louis--this sign explains it all.

I have absolutely no idea why Bert and Ernie and Big Bird were there. But in some news about them, I always wondered what the relationship was between Bert and Ernie. They were not brothers, were they? After watching for a while, I can categorically state that they are not gay lovers. I promise.

This might be the bravest man in town. We arrived half way through Saturday's celebration and immediately saw several people who could not stay on their feet when they were just walking and this guy was on stilts. I did not see him move much, but he did stay upright, which is more than I could say for a whole lot of folks.

This is the balcony at Clementine's, across from Barry's old apartment. As usual, they had really good music, and of course, drag queens. That is hard to beat.

This I just cannot explain at all. And even more startling to me is that this is not the first time I have ever seen a man in a pecker suit. Where in the hell does a person even buy a weiner suit?

A piece of advice though--going sober to Mardi Gras is a lot like canoeing the Current River sober. It is just not the best idea you will ever make. Take my word for it, and do not make that mistake yourself.

In other news, we are out of propane again. That is starting to seem like a bad joke.

The contest weigh-out

2011-03-06T13:25:00.003-06:00

I am so disappoint in the weight loss part of this competition. I started mid-January and it ended yesterday. I had lost between 12-16 pounds for the last month, it kept moving around there. When I weighed out, I had lost 11. That pisses me slap off. But then I got measured for the first time since November. I had not really lost any weight until January, so I am pretty sure these inches came off since mid-January. I lost three inches in my chest (which I am convinced is not a good thing) and four inches in my waist. That is a very good thing. I do not remember what came of my hips--maybe two inches? I lost inches everywhere, even 1/4 inch in my neck. I will have to check how much I lost of my thighs and calves. I took the weekend off from working my ass off, or at least I took off yesterday to show a horse and go to Mardi Gras. We just got back and I have to take a nap--knowing me, I will feel bad and be at the gym before it closes, which is at 6 on Sundays and is entirely too early. The Bad Boy came up with a whole new High Intensity Interval Training session on Friday that damn near killed me, but I loved it--clearly this is my new addiction. I also got the Brazilian Blowout for my hair that I have been talking about. I LOVE IT!~ I cannot tell you how much I love it. My products are not all in yet, but will be this week. I will get new pics when I have not slept on it, so I can show you. I cannot believe this is my hair--no frizz at all, and depending on how I dry it, it can be stick straight or with some bounce in it, which is what I wanted. I do not even care how much it cost--totally worth it!

What's my name?

2011-03-01T21:52:00.002-06:00

Tonight we made a new addition to the house. That is assuming Barry lets me keep her. If he absolutely insists, I have another home for her, but I really want her to take care of Tazer. She is a teeny tiny Dane, 8.5 months old and I bet she does not weigh 40 pounds. She needs an awful lot of weight and to grow grow grow!

Also, what is the deal with her back legs? They are not quite right.

Tazer likes her, and Slater seems all right with it. The purpose of her is to give Tazer a friend so he does not chase horses any more. He has recovered from his brush with death when Sly punted him last week, but he needs to not do that anymore.

Tazer is really growing up too, finally putting on some weight. She is so teeny she could walk under his belly with no problem.

Her previous owner called her Paige, which is clearly not a possibility in this house.

Any ideas? no people names, and something unique--let's hear some suggestions!

Im beating it

2011-02-28T21:42:00.002-06:00

I have a nemesis. Well I have a bunch, as you have probably picked up by now. This one, in particular, is the ARC trainer at the gym.

I HATE that thing. But the Bad Boy makes me warm up on it for ten minutes before we work out, three days a week. I started comparing how many calories it burns compared to the stationary bike or the treadmill, both of which aggravate my knee a little, and came to an inevitable conclusion--I have to do the ARC trainer. There is just no comparison.

If I do it manually, I can control how hard it is. That means I might cheat, so I had to stop doing that. About ten days ago, I managed to get up to 30 minutes at a time, which is around 350 calories. I quite often work out with the same set of people around me. There is one girl who wears that thing out, and has to be a size 0. She runs too. She has worked her ass slap off, cuz that is the only thing wrong with her tiny self-- no assatall. Another guy is a football player gone to seed, who is really working hard to get the weight off. He does a whole hour on that thing, and at much higher resistance than me. It makes me crazy because no way I can do what he does--he can burn 1300 calories an hour on it he does so much resistance. That is insane.

I am a little too competitive for my own good. So this weekend, I started using some of the presets on the trainer--where you put in your weight (dear God, I have to cover it with my nook so no one sees it), then do some other options, and then it changes you up. Its good though, because it keeps me from taking it easy. I can get my heart rate up into the 150s on that, which is unheard of for me--evidently, despite thinking I might die at any minute, my heart is really strong, because getting it over 125 had previously been almost impossible. I could be sweating buckets, and dizzy from exertion and just could not get it up there.

well now I can! This weekend, I started doing a whole hour on that bitch. I have to trick myself by setting different times, then resetting it to go again, but whatever--I am doing it. Three days in a row now (and that was weekend, so this is serious business folks), I have done an hour and burned right around 750 calories!

And I may be crazy but I feel something happening to my butt--especially my hip on the left side. Something is changing, which is just what I needed.

Hallelujah. I am stuck on the weight thing, ranging between 12 and 16 pounds but things are changing. I still have 60 pounds to go, which seems like a huge amount, but now I know I can do it.

Now that I am home, I kind of wish I could go back and do it again. This is what happens though, I get carried away and over train and that backfires weight wise. I am not allowed to do more than an hour of cardio a day, and on training days, I am only allowed to do 30 minutes. I might see if he will let me do more, but I bet not.

I have such an addictive personality. Its kind of sad

Snuck it by me

2011-02-27T01:57:00.002-06:00

Somehow I missed this --but it is huge news!

My perpetual pain in my ass, the neighborhood meth maker- has pled guilty in federal court or meth-related offenses (or offense, I am not sure which, looks like it must be just one). Sentencing is not until May, but the good part is that he could be sentenced up to 20 years and to pay $250K. Since he has already been to federal prison for meth issues in the past, they will not go lightly on him. I do not expect him to get the full 20, but he will get wacked way harder than the State ever would, should they ever actually get around to doing anything about his charges. His 2008 charges are still pending in State court, quite likely waiting on these federal issues to be resolved.

In any event, he is remaining in custody until sentencing.

You do not realize how much stress a situation like this can put on you until it is over. Having a tweaker as an enemy is not a safe and secure position to be in. Looks like it is behind me now

Hallelujah!

A serious subject

2011-02-25T18:59:00.000-06:00

Holly tells me all the time that I know important people. I do not know if there is anything to that, but there are some important people that bounce around me sometimes. It probably is because I am into so many things, but whatever. This is not about me

One of those important people I know was Iris Chang. Probably many of you do not know who she is, but I bet some do. I met her in undergrad; she was in my sorority, and eventually, I ended up living in her room in the house. She was brilliant, beautiful and impressive in every single way. After freshman year, I did not think another thing about her again until I read in the newspaper in 2004 that she had died. It seemed odd to me that her death should be international news, but that was just because I was out of touch.

Unbeknownst to me, Iris had made herself famous. She was a writer, and had written an international bestseller in 1997 called the Rape of Nanking. She had enough mainstream fame that people at work told me all about it. The book is about the Japanese war atrocities in China during WW II. Evidently, it turned the world on its head, because many people had forgotten or never knew the depth of what happened there, and how the US handled it so differently than it did the European issues.

This was a woman scared of nothing Iris became something of an activist, and raised a lot of hell that made people unhappy. She wielded a huge amount of power in the years following the book, some movies were made about it, and she continued working on some other projects. She was the face of demanding an apology and reparations from Japan. There is even a statue of her in China. She told off the Japanese Ambassador on national television. She was happily married and had a son.

And then she killed herself.

It made no sense to me, or evidently anyone else, even those that knew her very well. There were theories that she was murdered by Japanese ultra-nationals. There are whole forums dedication to what happened to her. The strongest theory was that she was mentally destroyed by the horrid events she wrote about. I have been touched by suicide more times than I can count, and even though I did not know her well, I felt like this was one more.

A friend of hers, Paula Kamen, wrote a book after Iris' death called "Finding Iris: Friendship, Ambition and the Loss of an Extraordrinary Mind". I read the book this weekend and it really shook me up. It was so good, I recommend it to everyone.

It was really well written, but I probably would not have read it had I not known Iris. I am so glad I did because it changed how I thought of her, and maybe a lot of other people. Paula included excerpts from letters and emails and conversations she had with Iris over the years, and interviewed a lot of other people who knew her well. It was almost a personal search for her, so she could understand why, how and who Iris really was, could it happen to her? and if she ever knew her as well as she thought she did.

There was so much more to this than it first appeared. Iris evidently had a breakdown while she was working on her new book about the Bataan Death March, and had to be hospitalized. She was ultimately diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. It is possible that her bi-polar was angered by her use of fertility drugs, after suffering miscarriages. That certainly contributed to her situation but so did many other things

Iris came from a family of super-achievers. Her parents came here from China and received Ph.Ds at Harvard. Iris went to Illinois, where her parents worked, then to Johns Hopkins for a masters degree in Science writing, which is what managed to hook her up with a publisher for her first book. She was 23 when she was contracted to write it. The ambition and drive and her ability to back it up was unstoppable. I have always had a theory about really freakily intelligent people, mostly formed as a result of the ones I know--they are not like the rest of us. They have quirks that make them seem different, as if one brain can only hold so much, and if it is full of IQ, there is not room for all the other social norms, etc that other people have. She fits this theory really well, which is kind of how I remembered her myself.

The book Paula wrote delves into the cultural issues as well. There is a lot of stress that comes with being part of the "super minority", and living up to the stereotypes that come along with it. (on a side note, an Asian attorney I know told me recently that she got a letter from an angry client telling her how disappointed he was in her representation of him, because he thought "her people" were better than that. Hysterical huh?) Chinese people do not discuss mental illness in their lives--it is something they hide and are ashamed of, although suicide by Chinese women is not stigmatized evidently. Medications for those who admit there is a problem and seek treatment is also difficult because they require different dosages than the rest of the population. Generally though, treatment is not sought because of the stigma.

So was it a perfect storm of circumstances? a combination of all of those things? No one will ever know. Paula's book though did show that this was not as big a surprise as everyone initially thought. Her research shows that Iris planned this and carried it out just like everything she did--with precision and drive. Looking back, there was a clear path to it. Quirks that people wrote off as typical writer behavior were manic episodes, such as working through the night, and not sleeping, and the work ethic. Coming from a Chinese woman, her behavior was even more radical because the window of accepted behavior in that culture is so narrow. Yet it went on for years, and no one noticed. Her husband called it "Attention Surplus Disorder" as she could focus on something so intently, she missed everything else around her.

I guess it is not strange that it is so hard to understand because I come from such a different place than she did. But certainly it makes me think twice about believing what you see--I thought she had it all, and she did, but she also had a lot of difficult things in her world. Things are not what they seem a lot of the time.

I emailed Paula Kamen to tell her how much I appreciated the book, so we have been chatting about it. I so wish that I had the opportunity to do what she did--find out WHY people I know did it. I knew that Iris' mother Ying-Yang has written a book about Iris that is to be released in May this year, and I ordered it, but Paula assured me that there would be no mention of mental illness in it. She is probably right. I look forward to reading it too though as I am starved for information about Iris. The difference between it and Paula's book should be pretty striking

I wonder if sometimes a person can just be so much everything--that they are like a star that burns too hot to last long. I know that sounds corny, but that is how I think of it.

It is not often that I am this struck by something, and I know I am failing at communicating it. I am not as gifted as Iris and Paula in making people feel what I want them to, just by writing it down. But read this book of Paula's. It will open your mind, maybe give you some comfort, make you angry and sad, and you will for sure learn something.